So yesterday I did it! I went back to gym and instead of doing my regular work out, I swam. I was nervous. I had asked colleagues, my husband and Twitter if anyone really ogles people in the pool. The general consensus was that nobody really stares at the people swimming, despite the fact that all the exercise equipment faces it. I took heart and decided to take the plunge.
I went to gym in my work clothes, changed in one of the toilet stalls (I am NO exhibitionist), wrapped my bath sheet around me, snapped on my swimming cap, locked away our gym bags and headed down to the pool. The lane closest to the wall (and probably the hardest to see) was open, all the other lanes were occupied. I put down my towel and water and slid in. That wasn’t so hard! The water is a lovely temperature and I started swimming. HOLY COW. Swimming is a cardiofuck. My chest was burning, my heart felt like it would leap out of my throat and I was being repeatedly lapped by some super fit guy in the lane next to me. I kept going though and managed 12 whole laps. Rudi was quite surprised that I had managed 12 when he asked me how many I did. 12 *sounds* like a little to me. I also had to rest quite a bit between laps. I’m only a beginner! After the swim I spent a few minutes in the sauna with a real chatty bloke and then went to get dressed again. Getting dressed after swimming sucks. Just saying.
After we got home from gym and a very quick shop for dinner, I started to become concerned because my heart was still beating rapidly. I could feel it pounding in my chest. I later noticed that I was short of breath as well. We carried on with our evening, I battled through reading Babyice a bedtime story, I felt I couldn’t breathe properly. I went to bed and slept well.
When I woke up this morning it was still there. Now I was even more worried. Am I having a heart attack? What is the matter? Did I do something to my heart while swimming? Leeza’s sister had a virus that affected her heart muscle last week…did I get that? A million questions running through my mind. I practically followed the nurse into her office at work this morning. I explained to her what happened and how I felt. She took my blood pressure and it was higher than normal. My resting heart rate is usually 69, this morning it was 98. I wasn’t imagining it. The evidence was there. She looked at me and said “What’s bothering you?”. Nothing. Nothing is bothering me. I am fine. Rudi and I are fine. Babyice is fine. Work is fine. Family is fine. FINE!
Apparently I’m suffering from anxiety. The nurse reckons this could also help to explain why I am exhausted all the time. She said even though I am getting enough sleep (in hours), it isn’t good quality sleep. She says if I am having anxiety issues that are now manifesting physically, this could be damaging the quality of my sleep without me even knowing it. This would explain why I am exhausted from the minute I wake up in the morning. On a weekend if I wake up on a day that has nap potential, I think about that nap from the time I open my eyes. I don’t think Rudi understands how tired I am. I am first-trimester-of-pregnancy-exhausted. Finished. My iron levels are good (I donated blood again about a week ago), so it isn’t an iron deficiency.
Now I have a problem. How do I fix something if I don’t know what the problem is? I’ve been exhausted for like a year. Yes, a lot of stuff has happened. Babyice has been injured, my grandfather died, My Evil Mother was herself and Rudi and I have had our ups and downs…but that is all par for the course.
How do i fix it?!?!