A while ago my whole family was over at our house for a braai. At some point it was decided that something was needed from the shop and I offered to drive my aunt there providing I didn’t have to get out of the car. I was wearing “house clothes”, no bra and no makeup. Off we went to the shop. My aunt got out and I stayed in the car.
It was a beautiful day. The weather was perfect. Warm, but not too hot. The air smelled like summer, one of my favourite smells. There were cars coming and going. I made myself comfortable in the car and my thoughts wandered. After a while I realized that I hadn’t experienced this in the longest time. Sitting quietly, by myself with no interruptions, just me and my thoughts. It was so awesome. Soon my aunt was back and I headed back into the chaos which is my everyday reality.
Easily 3 months later I was at the petrol station filling up my car and again found myself drifting off into my own world. Another lovely day, just me in the car on my way to go pick up the kids. It occurs to me that these moments of quiet contemplation are very few and far between for me and have been for quite some time. Maybe even years. I’ve been so caught up in the rat race of life and routine and kids and running the household, etc that I haven’t even noticed. I didn’t even realize that I missed these quiet times and that I just wasn’t managing to spend a little bit of time with myself. Even on days when I am alone, I’d be so busy trying to catch up on sleep, housework, etc. that I wouldn’t stay still and just be.
Since coming to this realization I have made a conscious effort to spend some time in my own head. To take some time to just be quiet and think about things. To delve into depths of things that don’t surface in the bustle of everyday life.
I hope you do too.