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So. I’m beyond disappointed at the Survivor cock up on SABC 3 on Monday night. I’ve been building up to the finale since the beginning of the season. Leebeesa and I even planned to watch the finale at my house and have nachos for dinner. I think we’ve been planning it since April or May. The first mess up was that they started the broadcast at 19:30. The entire season had started at 20:00 and there was no announcement to say the finale would start earlier. Luckily I was already watching SABC 3 and didn’t miss anything. That I could still let slide…and then…and then…they broadcast the reunion show after the final tribal council. BEFORE the votes were read and before the final 3 were made to face the jury. So we sort of gathered Todd had won…I have no idea who came second and at 22:00 after the reunion show I went to bed. I heard on the radio the next morning that the results show (with the reading of the votes and the Q & A) was broadcast AFTER the reunion show. Forking retarded. They ruined the ENTIRE season for me. Twitter was aflame with #SABC3 #fail tags. I saw last night that they aired a brief apology to viewers and sponsors. Whatever. They could have messed with the Amazing Race, or The Apprentice…but not Survivor man. It’s my favourite reality show! Ok. End of rant.


My grandfather is working on my nerves. His boss (a vet) has advised him that there’s no point in having chemo, it doesn’t work and he should just leave it. Also, one of his GP’s has shown him documentation about some or other herbal thing called cucumen (a derivative of turmeric) that apprently “cures” cancer. Now he wants to quit chemo and take cucumen and he reckons he’ll get all better. I am infuriated by him taking health advice from a VET and thinking that some herbal thing is going to make him all better. If it really was a cure for cancer, everyone would know about it. I don’t care how influential drug companies are. It would have leaked.


I got Leebeesa’s aunt to get someone to contact him. She is a breast cancer survivor and has undergone chemo more than once and works for the Breast Health Foundation. She got a doctor to contact him. The doctor told him that her father who is older than him had exactly the same kind of cancer, went through the treatment and is completely 100% cancer free now. She also told him he has the best kind of cancer there is as it responds the best to treatment. She told him the fact that he is feeling so ill after the chemo means that it is working really well. Last night he called me and asked me to come and see him after church, to further discuss it. In other words…he wants to try and convince me that he will be OK if he stops his treatment. I’m so annoyed and angry about his attitude that I feel like saying to him, ‘Fine. If you want to die, I can’t stop you. It’s your body, your life.’ Is it selfish of me to want him to be around longer? He kept telling me he is willing to go through chemo again to see our baby grow up a little. That doesn’t seem to be as important to him as it used to be. I understand that chemo is TERRIBLE. It is probably the most horrible thing someone will have to go through. I get it. I just really thought that he wanted to live. If he dies, I don’t think my grandmother will survive for very long after. Once they are gone, I’m the only one that can really help my aunt out. I’ve already been asked by them (in confidence) to “look after her”. It doesn’t help that My Evil Mother will be around trying to get an inheritance out of everyone…or that she’ll still be around to prey on my aunt who is weak of will. My aunt is not…capable of caring for herself. She is unable to work due to a mental disability. Luckily she is married and has a fairly competent husband who takes care of her. She is also, however, in constant need of attention. So much so that she will go to the hairdresser twice a week if she can, just because this means she will be given someone’s undivided attention. She will constantly phone my grandmother or be at their house. She has dependancy issues. My Evil Mother has similiar issues, but they manifest differently. Once my grandparents are gone…she has nobody to be dependant on. I’ll be all she has left. It is a huge responsibility and it will be very emotionally draining. So yeah. My grandparents are really worried about what will happen to her once they are no longer there.


Apart from that I’m fine. Need to pee often, specifically it seems while I am sleeping. Have uncomfortable stretching pains in my abdomen and for some reason my nausea seems to have returned sporadically. No more shopping for Babyice for now. I need to slow down I think before I get everything I could possibly have…leaving no room for my much beloved gifts!


Oh and I love my husband. Just because.