So my grandfather started chemo again yesterday. He was there for about 6 hours and they put a lot of fluid into him. He already started feeling unwell while he was there. He called me and it broke my heart. My grandfather is full of life and love. He is energetic and thirsts for knowledge.
When he has had chemo he is a broken man. He is frail and ill. I hate seeing him like that, although I know that it is all for the greater good. Did you know we share a blood type? I found that out recently. I also have his eyes…and his tendency to sneeze and vomit very loudly. Genetically I feel very close to him.
Last time he went for chemo he went once a month and had to take 12 chemo tablets every day. The tablets made him very ill. By the second last time he had to go he got so badly dehydrated that he was on the brink of being admitted to hospital. Eventually his doctor told him to stop taking the tablets. He went for one more treatment and after a week or so he started feeling better, although still suffering from the normal side effects such as not having any taste and having numb fingertips (amongst other things).
This time around he is going for chemo once a week. This means that he will be going for treatment just as soon as he starts feeling better. The horrible thing about it is that he will feel sick constantly for about 6 weeks. The nice thing about it is that it will be over quickly (in comparison to the 6 month treatment he had last time). He gets terribly depressed. Understandably so. When I was constantly ill when I was pregnant with Jamie it was very hard for me to accept. I also became very depressed, negative and resentful even. My grandfather and I were going through these things at the same time…which made me understand on some level what he was going through.
Before he refused to go for chemo again, but as is God’s plan I’m pregnant again and this has given him enough reason to want to live longer. Perhaps that is why I had to go through everything I went through last year, so that he would have a reason to keep fighting this year. You never know.
All I can really do is show him love and support. To keep telling him that he has a reason to live…to make him excited about life. I sincerly hope this will be the end of the cancer for him.