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It has been so long…

…since I’ve blogged I wonder if I even remember how!

My grandfather is getting thinner and weaker. He is receiving care at home and the Morphine seems to be keeping him pain free. He is not himself though and he does hallucinate and become very dopey when he has taken his medication. He is also becoming very demanding and full of shit. I have absolutely no problem with it, but others in my family aren’t very happy about it. My grandfather has requested that EVERYONE see him by appointment only. Family included. Even the close family. My aunt and mother aren’t very happy about this as there is a lady from our church who is there every day. What they are not taking into consideration is that the lady is an angel. She sleeps there every night. In an upright position on an uncomfortable chair. There is a night nurse on duty, but she comes anyway. Her and my grandfather go way back. He was her family’s house priest and he helped them through really trying times and now she is paying him back with incredible kindness. She helps wash him, feed him (IF he eats), holds the bottle for him if he needs to pee and gives him love and moral support. She has been invaluable to my grandmother and grandfather while they are going through this very difficult time. So fuck whatever my aunt and mother think. I am in no way offended by any request my grandfather makes. If he is irritated by my presence and wants me to leave, so be it. I know it’s nothing personal. I know he is heavily medicated and that the medicine may have side affects. I want him to be as comfortable as possible. At the moment he insists on short visits, minimal noise and visits by appointment only. That is fine by me!

I expect that he will go any time now. I had quite a lucid visit with him yesterday and he said so more than once. It was lovely seeing him as he was. Although he seems to look good on certain days, he has gotten terribly thin. He is a shadow of the man he used to be. I hate to see him suffer and I feel very comforted by the fact that he feels ready to go home (in a spiritual sense). I am still very sad and I cry every time I think about it, but I am ready for him to go too. I want him to be pain free with no more worries and no more suffering.

Babyice is doing well. He has only two toofies now and we’re waiting for those top two to make their appearance. He has been on another course of antibiotics at the beginning of this month. I’m not even sure if I’m repeating anything I wrote in a previous blog post because it’s been so long between them! He is crawling/scooting backwards quite effectively now…although he gets frustrated quickly and then wants to be picked up. I am strongly considering sleep training him in the near future. I need to get past Rudi though. He HATES it when Babyice cries and believes it will be torturing him to leave him crying for any amount of time. I am quite a bit more hard core than him and can stand the crying if I know that Babyice doesn’t *need* anything. I want Rudi to hear it from the pediatrician’s mouth though, not just mine.

Work isn’t too bad. I’m in the new portfolio (the one I dreaded) and have been doing it for a month now without too many glitches. I’m not too fond of the snooty irate customers you get sometimes, but I guess that’s part and parcel of the job. I’ll be doing this work until 2 January at which point I will be going back to my old portfolio. We should also be getting new staff in the next month or so who will be assisting in the portfolio I’m working in now which will alleviate a lot of the strain we take so it will be much better toward the end of my stay here.

Not much else to catch up on. I’ve been so quiet on Twitter because I’ve been spending time with my family and working hard. I’ll try to be less scarce. I promise. I miss it!