I am so frustrated. I’ll blog about my weekend away later.
Rudi has gone and fucked up the sleep training good and proper again. You know, I’m really trying to stop swearing, but sometimes the occasion just calls for it. Like now. Please refer to my previous post: Rudi Ruiner.
The night before last Babyice woke up again and Rudi went to him again. I could tell he was already getting tired of getting up every time he cries. He brought this up briefly yesterday, but I put my foot down, I said I am not getting up for him and that it is now officially Rudi’s problem. I think he displayed dissatisfaction, but i ignored it. He mentioned things like:
- What if he has a cramp?
- What if he is cold?
- What if he doesn’t get back into bed and sleeps on the floor in the cold?
- What if we don’t check on him and find him dead the next morning? (something I AM actually scared of)
…and and and. Excuse after excuse. In the summer there will be another excuse. *sigh*.
Yesterday afternoon Babyice didn’t get his way with something and threw another epic tantrum. This child carries on like he is possessed. I swear. It is incredible to watch and difficult to bear. Rudi even joined me in boycotting his tantrum for a short while. He then went back to try and console him or calm him down and then ended up walking away again with a “Fuck you”. I really don’t like it when we swear at him. It is completely unacceptable. There are times that you completely lose control and don’t know what else to do. I suppose it is our way of expressing *our* frustration at that moment in time. We need to change this! Eventually he calmed down and the rest of the evening was uneventful.
He went to sleep with no protest or problem. Rudi put him to bed as I was busy talking to someone who needed some advice. We went to bed and everything was wonderful…until about 01:34. Babyice woke up and started crying. The crying quickly escalated into screaming and went on and on and on. After a few minutes Rudi got up (since I refused to). The screaming and tantrum continued. He coughed from all the snot this was producing, threatening to throw up. Sound familiar? Yes. Life before sleep training. Welcome back to the dark days. The tantrum continued for 15 minutes or so…maybe 20. Rudi gave up and brought him to our bed. I got up and went to lie in Babyice’s bed. Rudi came to tell me that I was being childish and that he was going to divorce me becuase I’m ‘being like this’. Eventually I relented and went back to bed. Rudi thought it might be mature to then squidge him and Babyice up on a quarter of the bed so I could have some space. I didn’t protest. Not long after that Babyice was fast asleep and kicking me repeatedly. I complained and eventually Rudi took him back to his own bed where he slept happily for the rest of the night. Apparently Babyice is now also climbing onto his bed bumper, which is potentially dangerous, but not a reason to get up for him.
Rudi and I were so pissed off with each other this morning that we didn’t speak a word to each other in the car and did not even kiss each other goodbye. This bull is seriously causing a rift between us. I insist, however, that sleep training is the right way to go. Rudi reckons that this is something that will go away with time and that I will regret not allowing Babyice to sleep with us when he gets older and no longer wants to. I spoke to him this morning via BBM (sometimes it is easier when the tone of what you are trying to say is difficult to interpret). He still feels that we need to give Babyice free reign on our sleeping time. He thinks he will hurt himself. I’ve told him we can work around the bed bumper issue by taking it down and placing pillows on the floor next to the bed in case he does fall off. It is easy for us to distinguish between his I’ve-hurt-myself-cry and his I-want-attention-cry.
It looks like sleep training will have to be started practically from scratch again. I don’t want to do it. How do I know I won’t be wasting my time AGAIN? I think Rudi needs to do it, but I’m not sure if he has the backbone to see it through.
WHAT TO DO?!