A while ago I tried my hand at Tinder. I’ve heard so much about it and it’s all over social media (and not always in a positive light mind you), so I thought I would give it a bash. I signed in using my Facebook profile, which automatically filtered through area information as well as age and pictures. While I was using the app I had a few thoughts and even though I wasn’t blogging at the time, I jotted them down for a future blog post and here it is!
Tinder – First Impressions:
- It feels so shallow judging people solely on how they look.
- Swiping left is kind of addictive.
- Shit! Just accidentally swiped left on a hottie.
- Stupid swipe left crack.
- OMG. I KNOW THIS GUY! He’s engaged to someone I know. Well, shit.
- Ha! I knew this guy and his wife split. Here’s conclusive evidence.
- There’s a dude I went to school with.
- Oh! This guy works in my team. Awkward.
- Why are there so many hot 26 year olds? WHY?!
- Dude. If there’s a girl in your picture that isn’t clearly your mother, I’m swiping left. No man.
- Can I at least see your face? Sunglasses are deceiving. What if your eyes are too close together?
- Shallow. Shallow. Shallow.
- It’s exhilarating to get a match. Someone you like, likes you back. Feels like a win.
- Someone messaged me. Turned out to be a fuck boy. Accused me of husband hunting. WTF.
- Someone else talks to me. Shows me pictures of his house, but can’t take a pic of himself in the house. Um.
- Do you think I could pick any one of these men to have sex with? Is this what they all want? It’s a bit disappointing, but not unexpected. Is there a decent one in between? Maybe.
- Tinder. Shallow. Minefield. I don’t trust it.
It turns out I was right not to trust it. I have a folder full of male genitalia that was graciously sent to me. On the first day using Tinder upon refusal to “meet up to hook up” I was accused of husband hunting. So I updated my profile as follows “Not husband hunting and not looking for a one night stand. Fuck boys swipe right”. I got a message from a man that was confused by that, because it was technically an invitation for fuck boys. Oops. I changed it and we ended up meeting for dinner and having a lovely time. I met one more man from Tinder who spoke so much while we were having hot chocolate together I could barely get a word in edgewise. He was mostly talking about himself.
I decided to update my profile completely honestly, mentioned I had 2 kids, that I’m a smoker and not interested in hooking up with randoms. Immediately I started getting less matches. Might be a MILF, but a MILF is all you are when that is all they want. Eventually I just deactivated my profile. I never had much hope for online dating. My opinion has always been that mostly it consists of a lot of men trolling for women to sleep with.
While Tinder was fun to play with, I think I’ll give it a miss.