acidicice

The Weekend so far

Last night I went to watch Bride Wars with Leebeesa. I must say that I really enjoyed spending some time with her and the movie was really cool. It made me laugh and cry. Awesome. Rudi had gone off to Crack Head’s house and said he’d by home by 23:00. After the movie we went to Leebeesa’s sisters house (she’s house sitting at the moment) and I watched a little DSTV (cable) while she went to shower. She had to work today so eventually she brought me home around midnight.

Rudi still wasn’t home. I was so livid. I thought after the huge fight that we had last weekend about this very same thing he would at least retain the information for a week. Silly me. Leebeesa comforted me on the phone till eventually I was tired enough to go and sleep. She reckoned he was probably trying to get a reaction out of me and advised me not to react. He came home after 01:00.

This morning I got up, made us both breakfast and started getting ready for my hair appointment. I even asked him how his evening was in a friendly manner. He couldn’t, however, give a flying fuck how my evening went. He didn’t even bother asking. He then kept trying to pull me back into bed, knowing I had a hair appointment within the next 30 minutes. The more I protested, the more adamant he became. He pressed my buttons to the extent that I finally exploded and said something along the lines of him needing to spend time with me when it was appropriate and not just when it suited him, which led to another fight. The last thing I said to him before I left for my hair appointment was ‘You want a divorce? Fine. You’ll get what you want’.

The hairdresser was a lovely lady. As all hairdressers do she listened to my problems and even gave me a free treatment. If pity is going to get me free hair treatments, I’m not going to complain! Hair is SO freaking expensive to maintain!

I have grainy cell phone pics of my hair:

Before

After

We were meant to go and visit my great aunt, Cheryl, today and go for a walk on the beach afterwards. Naturally Rudi told me to go on my own. I picked my grandmother up and we went to go and visit her. I actually had a nice afternoon, despite my foul mood. I assumed Rudi would have buggered off to his friends while I was out, but he was still home when I returned around 18:00 (I left at 12:00). Maybe his friends are busy.

Did you think I was going to slack on the weekend? NO! When I got home I went for my walk (alone). It was still difficult and hasn’t gotten any easier yet. I am still taking the same route. I’m sure it’s going to get better. I feel good about doing it. I came home, took a nice cold shower and cooked supper. I was so proud of myself today. I stuck to my eating plan despite being offered cake and DELICIOUS cookies. I can do this!

Rudi and I are being civil for now. He’s not getting off easily this time. I deserve respect and if he can’t give me that, then that’s tough. I’m not going to be a doormat.

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