The doctor called with the test results for the ‘short’ amnio. The test results have come back normal. This still leaves so many unanswered questions. To quote the specialist ‘there are too many loose ends’. The ‘long’ amnio tests take 3 and a half weeks by which time it would be too late to decide whether we are going to terminate.
I’ve had a lot of time to mince this over in my head and I really feel it would be unfair towards Lorelei to bring her into this world with so much of a disadvantage. Neither Rudi or I could quit our jobs to look after her and I will most certainly not put her in a home. Besides the club feet there is still the question of her spine, her head and her bowel that are abnormal on the scan.
If we could be guaranteed that only her feet are a problem there would not have been a choice to make.
Rudi still remains positive and hopeful. I feel that we should let Lorelei go. It breaks my heart and my soul is bleeding for my daughter. The gynae will only see us on Monday. I wake up every morning crying and feeling hopeless. I really just want this all to be over.