Tag Archives: Uncle

Looking back and reconnecting

I was reading back to my blog posts of a year ago. All I had on my mind then was that Babyice was coming…and wondering how on earth I was going to bring him into this world. I was filled with anticipation and fear. I remember telling myself at that point that the actual birth of Babyice would most likely only last for one day. Surely I could make it through one “bad/painful” day? Looking back now…I had such an amazing birth experience. I consider myself very lucky, knowing the other side of the coin all too well.

Babyice is doing so well, just yesterday Leebeesa came to babysit him for us and she put him in front of his walker and he scooted off with it! He walked! He is balancing for longer and longer on his own now, but still falls on his bum. It’s so cute! This heat wave we’re having in Cape Town is messing with his appetite and sleep though, so I’m hoping it will cool down soon.

It was my grandmother’s 70th birthday yesterday. She took us all out to dinner at the Spur. We reserved a table and when we got there they had two bottles of complimentary chilled white wine on the table. While that was very cool, the actual restaurant was not. It was hot as hell’s kitchen yesterday! I ended up taking off layers of clothes to try and cool off (not too many though ;)). I bought my grandmother a rose bush called “Blue Moon” and a beautiful glazed pot. The nursery potted the rose bush for me and I bought a small frog statue to sit underneath the bush. My grandmother has green fingers and loves flowers. I thought giving her a living gift would be lovely. Something she could nurture and care for now that my grandfather isn’t around anymore.

Picture source:

Blue Moon Rose

Tomorrow I will be going for a braai with family I haven’t seen in almost 20 years. I tracked my biological father’s brother down on Facebook. I had looked for my father before, but had no luck finding him. I had a good relationship with his mother and remember going there for holidays when I was very young. It used to be easy to find her as she was always listed in the phone book, but my attempts reaching her also failed. I was very excited when I found my uncle! To my surprise they had moved to Cape Town since I last saw them. I immediately contacted him and he was happy to hear from me. He gave me my grandmother’s number and I called her up. She was SO surprised! We’ve been trying to arrange a get together since last year, but with the festive season and holiday madness tomorrow was the first date that suited everyone.

I’m a little nervous. I really haven’t seen them in a very long time. I just hope that I live up to their expectations, if you know what I mean? I don’t think there’s any reason for them to dislike me now or to be disappointed at how I turned out. I hope they are proud of me. I just *know* they’ll love Babyice ūüôā I asked them how my father is (he still resides in Bloemfontein) and it seems that they have not kept in regular contact with him. They weren’t really able to tell me how he is, but my grandmother did say that he had been through a really tough time (we all have, I suppose). I asked if My Evil Mother should come along as she probed me about it after finding out we’d reconnected, but my uncle thought it best that the initial meeting be without her as he remembered that there were ‘issues’ between her and that side of the family. Honestly, I’m not surprised.

My father and I never really had a close bond. My parents divorced when I was two years old and I only ever saw glimpses of him when I was staying with his mother. I do, however, have very fond memories of my grandmother and cannot wait to see her! I’ll blog all about it ūüôā

My Evil Mother requires…HELP

On Sunday my grandmother and Evil Mother convinced me to let her come over to have tea. I told her I do not want her to come to my house as I’m afraid she will refuse to leave. She said she doesn’t have anything with her and I told her I don’t care. I am tired of playing nice with her. She doesn’t deserve it. Eventually I relented and she came over. Much superficial conversation came from me and lies spewed from within her. Typical. At some point I made mention of the fact that it’s a pity she’d lost all her furniture (which she insists someone seems to be storing for her free of charge – for like two years) as Rudi covets a white couch she had. She didn’t want to leave when I wanted her to, so I went to sleep and she eventually decided to go.


Yesterday morning she phones me all in tears. I must phone my grandfather. She doesn’t know why. <– Load of shit.¬† They (her husband, father in law and herself) are being kicked out of the place where¬†they are¬†staying and she is on the street. Repeatedly asking me if she can move in with me. I repeatedly tell her to fly a kite. Oh it’s crisis! She’ll have to sleep in the street tonight…blah blah blah. She phones Rudi behind my back. She asks him to speak to me, as if he will change my mind. She does this ALL the time. She plays couples off against each other and tries to get them to talk each other into doing what she wants. She does it with my aunt and uncle and as well my grandparents. It has worked before. She’ll guilt one of them into guilting their partner. Pity I’m not that gullible. I tell Rudi he can go¬†play in the traffic¬†and get his own place if he wants to shack up with her, which of course, he doesn’t.

Finally I have a hard copy of a conversation between My Evil Mother and I. I often forget things that were said, but since this was a SMS exchange I can show you exactly how it went down.

Her: Do you want the couch?

Me: Depends how much

Her: Surely you know what I want

Me: If it what I have¬†repeatedly told you “No” for, then you can keep it.

Her: U not stupid, but now u being very dumb

Me: Not in the mood for games. Say what you want or leave it.

Her: You said no

Me: Then it is no. I don’t see why you are still confused.

Her: U said no – Game over [Ed: here she is implying she will kill herself. This has happened before]

Me: Been down this road with you before as well. I learn my lessons.

Her: Sad

Me: Perhaps if you take ownership of your life and problems you will stop getting into these kinds of situtations. If you continue to guilt trip me or cause me any more stress or worry I will be forced to break contact with you. My child is my first priority and I am not taking any chances with his wellbeing.

Her: All I know is I am crying for help and u won’t help me. I am not guilt tripping you

Me: No matter what we do for you further down the line we will have to walk this road with you again. It happens over and over. You have already drained us financially as much as we would allow and yet you want more. It will never be enough. The kind of help you need, I am not qualified to offer.

Her: How is it that u only remember the bad

Me: Because it overwhelms the good by so much and I do not foresee it changing.

Her: Please just one last chance

Me: No.

Her: U all advise me to leave but won’t help me do it

Me: I think it is high time you help yourself otherwise this vicious circle will continue to turn.

Her: I can’t do it alone

Me: You actually can. You’re just so used to other people solving your problems that you think you are not capable. If you were really that desperate, you would find a way. I suggest you stop focusing on what everyone else can do for you and help yourself. Imagine the possibilities.

Her: You bought me this for my b’day love is enduring and patient and kind

Me: It will only endure so much, be so patient and be so kind until tough love is required.


Thereafter, silence. She called me crying again this morning. She is a thick skinned one. She seems to think if she asks me enough, I’ll cave. She is mistaken. Rudi and I work very hard to have our home. We enjoy coming home in the evenings to be in each other’s company, to relax, to unwind from a hard day’s work. She will rob us of that and our privacy. She must be smoking crack. She actually might be. There is NO WAY IN HELL that I will allow her to stay there. I don’t care if she needs to stay there for 3 hours with her stuff before being able to move in somewhere else, NO. She’ll never leave.


This is another reason why I did not want her to come on Sunday. It’s like you open the door a crack and she bursts in…luggage in tow. Forget about it.


If she didn’t stress out my grandparents so much I would have no reason to contact her or to let her contact me. I try to buffer where I can, but it is very difficult.¬†She will continue to take advantage of them as long as they let her and I cannot prevent that. I can counsel them and advise them, but that is all I can do. My grandfather, being the compassionate man he is falls for her emotional manipulation most often. In a way he enables her. I wonder what she is going to do when he is no longer there.


*sigh* Someone PLEASE make her go away!

Hormonal much?

On Wednesday my grandfather called. My Evil Mother needs help moving out from her mother in law’s place. My uncle would apparently help. I said we have plans. He asked again. I told him again we had plans. He said he doesn’t want to go, he is not feeling well. I told him that he shouldn’t go because he is still weak. We didn’t really have plans to go out, but I wanted to spend my Heritage Day with Rudi. Some quality time, just the two of us. I’m working this weekend and all of next week, so I won’t be spending my weekend with him. I feel that we need to spend time together now, while it’s still just the two of us. Things are going to change once Babyice is here. So I said no. At some point yesterday I got a SMS from my aunt saying that my uncle was also not going to help her. She told my grandfather that her mother in law is hitting her and she needs to get out of there. Once again he felt sorry for her and tried to pull everyone in to help her. Even my grandfather is running out of places to turn for help for her. This should tell him something.


So Braai Day was off to a great start. Rudi and I predictably woke up at 7AM. I was hungry so I had something to eat and insisted that we go back to sleep. Rudi whined about it for a little while because he “wasn’t tired”, but we both managed to sleep till a much more respectable time. 10:30AM. Not bad.


We had our braai later in the afternoon:


Veggie Skewers

Veggie Skewers


Fire required to finish things off

Fire required to finish things off


Time to eat - nom nom nom

Time to eat - nom nom nom


The veggie skewers look awesome, right? They’re not really. I much prefer fruit skewers. Perhaps the fire was too hot, because the veggies were still half raw…but the rolls were lovely!


Then Lindor showed up *sigh*. His wife has gone away with the kids for the long weekend. Now he’s home alone and seemingly our problem. He doesn’t really have any other friends. Only Rudi. Does that surprise you? He was supposed to come over for a quick drink. Then he wanted to know if they could go out. Lindor’s wife would NEVER allow that, because she knows as well as I do that the two of them get up to all sorts of nonsense when left alone together. She doesn’t even allow them to go to the shop alone together. It’s that bad. So I said no. Then Lindor wanted to go and get meat and more beer…(our fire had died hours ago) and I said no (he didn’t want to go to the shop alone – I wonder why…these men insult my intelligence). So when Rudi tried to convince me I may have said something like ‘So he is going to be here all night now?’ and he might have been within earshot. So he left. Rudi was less than impressed with me.¬†Pffft.


For the last two days or so I’ve been feeling really down. One of the things that has been getting me down is that Rudi didn’t get me a birthday gift this year. He didn’t have money at the time (beginning of August) and said he would get me one at the end of this month. Now he doesn’t have money again and has told me I’ll get an awesome Christmas present. Glossing over my birthday does not fly with me. I am a Leo for pete’s sake! I was totally willing to let him wait a month…if he didn’t have money, fine…but don’t spend money on other crap and then say you don’t have money for me again! I don’t ask for much. I don’t really even expect an anniversary gift…but my birthday I need to be spoilt. Specifically by the man I love…if not everyone else (and thanks to everyone else that did spoil me! You know who you are!).


So yesterday after Rudi had a go at me about ‘chasing his friend away’ and again thinking about the birthday present thing I got very depressed and started crying. I’m sure these hormones have a lot to do with it…but sheesh. I have more than enough reason to be happy about my life…I don’t feel like I should be crying about anything right now. Not even chocolate cheered me up.


*sigh* I should chat to my gynae about this. Perhaps it’s normal.

I will not be taken advantage of

You might remember this post where I spoke about how dependant my aunt is and how she is going to become my problem once my grandparents aren’t around. Looks like she’s decided she can make herself my problem anyway. I was so annoyed yesterday.


Rudi and I went to have dinner at my grandparent’s place. My grandmother had baked two cakes for my uncle to take to work as it’s his birthday. She asked if we could drop the cakes off at my aunt’s house. From our house to my grandparents it’s about a 1.5km drive. We would then have to drive an additional 7km to get to my aunt’s house, then back to my grandparents house/our house. It’s out of the way. Since it was my grandmother asking and Rudi had to drive out that way to take his father’s birthday gift, I consented. My uncle could have come to fetch his own FREE cakes, but whatever.


So Rudi goes to drop off the cakes and my uncle mentions that his car battery is flat. Rudi goes to fetch his father’s car battery charger and takes it back to my aunt’s place. Then she wants him to lend her money to buy two cooldrinks (also for my uncle to take to work for his birthday) and of course to drive her to the shop. Since Rudi didn’t have any money on him, he had to decline, but didn’t hesitate to ask me as well. So what? Rudi must drive back to my grandparents, fetch the money from me, drive back to my aunt and then cart her to the shop? So as he wants to leave she asks if she can use his phone. She goes ahead to make a loooong call talking about all sorts of crap, so Rudi eventually had to start the car and start driving away before she got the picture.


While we were at my grandparents she gave my grandmother 4, yes FOUR, missed calls to call her back. My grandmother does this. She’s creating a monster!!!! THEN my aunt calls me (missed call, of course). I call her back and she asks to speak to Rudi. She now wants Rudi to drive BACK to her place and then drive her to her sister in law’s place to go and fetch a pair of shoes.


HELL NO. NO FORKING WAY! I drew the line. I’m not her freaking taxi service. She wasn’t even going anywhere that she needed the shoes for. Is she freaking KIDDING ME?


She is the reason I blocked my ‘Please call me’ messages. Because she wants me to phone her for the biggest load of crap. Now she seems to think that, like my grandmother, my husband and I are at her beck and call? She will be reconditioned. She will be made to understand that I don’t have limitless petrol and time to run around for her.


FFS. I suppose her and My Evil Mother have more in common than I thought.

My Evil Mother continues her reign of terror

I had a lovely light hearted blog post planned for today, but as she loves to do, My Evil Mother has screwed up that plan. I think I’ll write it anyway and draft it for tomorrow.


I find it very difficult not to resort to foul language when talking about her, but I try my hardest, especially in print.


She had her court case yesterday. None of us really know what happened there and it looks like she’s trying to use that to her advantage. She’s still sending my uncle threatening messages one minute and the next begging him to take her back. My Evil Mother is a fuckwit. *ahem* excuse me. She has now called my grandfather and implied that there is a lot more to the court case than we think and requested to see him this evening. Of course my entire family goes into a flat panic, assuming that she is somehow trying to implicate my aunt and uncle. My grandfather is much more calm about it than the rest of them, but I know it worries him, even though he doesn’t show it like everyone else. I don’t know how she can possibly implicate my aunt and uncle in her crime. She’s said she’ll tell the police that she bought stuff for them on the stolen credit card, but I don’t see how that makes them guilty of anything. They didn’t know the credit card was stolen and co-incidentally did not accept anything from her as they were dubious of her motives (everything with a hidden agenda you see).


So my grandmother calls and asks if I will accompany him to go and see My Evil Mother and Coke Head this evening. So my blood is boiling once again and I’ve been waiting so long to give this woman a piece of my mind. I’ve agreed to go with him and so has Rudi.


My aunt then SMS’ me to tell me that¬†My¬†Evil Mother¬†asked to see my grandfather and asked me to keep them in my prayers. I advise her I’m going with and that I’m tired of My Evil Mother’s nonsense. She then SMS’ me to ask me to please not tell My Evil Mother that I heard about the meeting from her and that she’ll worry about it all day. You see what My Evil Mother has done? She’s put the fear of God into my family with her threats. I am so enraged. I am so angry I want to cry. Worst of all?! I’m supposed to be relaxed and zen and not to be stressing over this kind of shit. I don’t have only myself to consider anymore!


This woman ruins EVERYTHING!


*deep breath* So…I’m all amped right now to give her a tongue lashing…and I’ll speak my mind, however, My Evil Mother can get really nasty and in a sense I am also afraid of her. I suppose she’s already blurted out the most damning thing she could say about me to my grandfather…(she told him that I used to use cocaine)…but she might have forgotten that I have some artillery that I have been saving since I was a child. Something HUGE that will shock her I guess. I think she thinks I’m too ashamed to talk about it and in a sense I always have been…but I’ve started to realize that she is the one that needs to be ashamed of this secret, not me. Whether or not I’ll pull it out of the archives tonight is unknown.


I know My Evil Mother all too well and I’m pretty sure that tonight is going to be a session where she tries to convince my grandfather that she needs to continue staying with my aunt and uncle or she’s going to try and bully him into giving her money or something of the sorts. I don’t think she knows that I’ll be coming with, but I don’t think she is afraid of me at all.


I had nightmares about her the other night. You know things are really bad if you have nightmares about your own mother. I dreamt that she had found my blog and read all the things I’d written about her. Then she turned into the evil thing that she can become and I was truly afraid for my life…and for the life of my baby.


You see…I don’t know exactly how much of a fucking nutcase¬† crazy she is. I’m not sure what lengths she will got to, although I do know she is all about self preservation, no matter who stands in her way. At this very moment I cannot say whether I will even be upset if something happened to her. She is THE villian in my life.


So. All things considered I am afraid of her, but I yearn to tell her to *restrains self* leave us all alone. To move far, far away and never come back. What did we do to deserve this? There’s going to be a scene in a restaurant tonight…and I’m going to be at the centre of it.



Welcome to my new home!

Welcome to my new site. I really hope you like it! I must thank Richard for helping me out to make my site a reality. He designed my template and made change after change until I was happy.  He also helped me out with importing my old entries from blogger to here. A big shout out to Richard!

There are still tiny things that I’ll tweak a bit later on, but this is more or less what the site will look like. I still have to put in my stats counter, twitter and a badge or two.

So, I have big news regarding My Evil Mother. Recently she had consulted the family about leaving the job she had at a supermarket. Her excuses were that she was missing out on calls for other job opportunities and that she was always working when there was church and couldn’t attend services. I think she threw the church part in because she knows how important that is to my family and she was under the impression this would buy her sympathy/understanding. I also work during some service times, even moreso when I was in the call center. It’s not an issue. Really. It’s not like she’s out partying or just too lazy to make the effort.

Anyway, my uncle was suspicious, thinking it was very sudden, but she spins her lies quite well and we left it at that. Low and behold, the police come knocking on my uncle’s door, looking for her. According to the police she had stolen a customer’s credit card from the supermarket where she was working and had then used it. She tried to use it the next day at another store, but it had already been cancelled. The second store she tried had a surveillance camera.

It was inevitable one day that she would be caught. We didn’t realize the extent of her crimes, we didn’t¬†know that she would victimize a stranger. We understood that she took advantage of people she knows, works for and her family…but strangers? It was the dumbest move ever in my opinion. Pulling the wool over the eyes of someone who knows you is one thing, this person may feel really stupid or embarassed that they have been taken for a ride. A person that knows you has some sort of relationship with you. Not so with a stranger. All she is to this stranger is a criminal. A crook. Someone who stole from them. They have absolutely no reason not to persue the matter. They can’t be talked out of/manipulated to drop the charges.

The police wanted to take her into custody, but she was with her husband at the time. My uncle has told them where she is, but they have not arrested her as yet. Perhaps this will be the wake up call that she needs. I really hope she doesn’t get away with it again. I think she has pushed it this far because she has gotten away with it so often for so long.

I tried to make a case against her many years ago, but the police were so horrified that I wanted to make a case against my own mother that they didn’t want to help me. Also the retail store where she had made 13K debt (not the full extent of what she has done to me) ¬†to my name didn’t want to assist me in building a case against her. I knew she signed her own signature. That would have been ample proof, but nobody seemed to know where to get the dockets, not even their fraud division. As long as I coughed up their money, they couldn’t care less. I’ll keep you posted on what happens there. I should probably be more upset about it, but I’ve been waiting for it to happen. As I said, it was inevitable.

I had a lovely visit with my cousin from London on Sunday. She bought these gifts for our baby:



If you can’t see well, it’s a Peter Rabbit rattle ūüôā

Other than that there isn’t much to tell right now. Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think of the new site!

My Evil Mother – Needs to go!

*deep breath* I could kill My Evil Mother, although, I shouldn’t say that on my blog…just in case I do.

My uncle was put on short time a little while ago (due to the economy I guess) and very recently my aunt lost the little work from home job she had that gave her a little income each month. No doubt because My Evil Mother kept on phoning out all the airtime her boss put on her phone so she could do telemarketing and make appointments for him to see prospective clients.

My uncle was paid a very small amount this week and it doesn’t look like they’ll have enough money for petrol, food and the water account. My grandmother asked me to help, but I don’t think that would be condusive to getting My Evil Mother out of there. I do not want to see them go hungry (which they very well might), but if you give them anything, she will get her grubby paws on it. She has said she doesn’t mind not having food since she doesn’t eat much. Selfish bitch. *ahem* Excuse me.

She is working at the moment, for minimum wage, but a job none the less. She hasn’t given them any money for the past three weeks (and very little before that, she’s been living there for over a year, her husband with her at a stage and they have given less than R1000 in all that time) and has said she was short paid. In the meantime she is making appointments to have her legs waxed.

I’m hoping that she will leave as the grass is no longer green where she is, or that they will finally have the resolve to kick her out on her ass. They seem to think she’s going to ‘be out on the street’. Are they STUPID? This women is so very cunning and manipulative she’ll show up at YOUR door and talk you into letting her stay.


My Evil Mother and Grandfather updates

So. Great news! My grandfather’s colon is cancer free. He is so elated by this news that he is even considering another round of chemo instead of the operation on his liver. The chemo will make him very ill, but he feels he will still be able to work when he is having chemo whereas he will be off work for a full month if he has the operation to remove the cancer from his liver. He’ll be seeing a specialist in about a week to discuss his options and take things from there.

I took them out to dinner last night to celebrate his health, their 47 year wedding anniversary, his birthday (which is on the 13th of June) and to thank him for looking after Amber while we were away. We had a nice quiet dinner. It was lovely.

My Evil Mother is up to her old tricks. Her husband let it slip that my aunt could afford to ‘lose her pension’ as she works from home. Just goes to show what they must have been scheming about. My aunt’s pension, which she worked hard for. My Evil Mother is still living with my aunt and uncle, although her husband was kicked out after one too many drunken tantrums at all hours of the morning. She tried to get him back in with promises of money (seeing as how they don’t pay rent or contribute in any way) and some luxury food items. Luckily, for once, my uncle stood firm and kept by his decision. My Evil Mother has been hell to live with ever since. Rudi could not believe the way My Evil Mother spoke to my uncle in his own house. If My Evil Mother is really that desperate to be with her husband, then she should go and stay with him and his mother. My Evil Mother has told us horror stories of how his mother is evil and how she is an alcoholic. I think the actual story is that she is much more demanding about incoming contributions and them pulling their weight than my aunt and uncle are.

My Evil Mother *loves* throwing our religion/beliefs in our faces. She’ll often say things like ‘God doesn’t sleep’ – she seems totally oblivious to the fact that the same applies to her. Sometimes it’s funny, but for people like my grandfather and my uncle who both hold ministries within the church the guilt trip she takes them along for is often effective. Last Wednesday in church she went as far as to keep her communion wafer and to shove it in my uncle’s hand after church saying ‘You need it more than I do’. I cracked up when I heard this. I’m actually quite sure my uncle – who was giving her a lift home from church at the time, the selfish bastard – might have cracked up also. He has a good sense of humour. My grandparents on the other hand, didn’t think it was funny.

It is beyond me that My Evil Mother is still a free woman. The amount of fraud she has committed…and I’m only aware of a portion of it…must be substantial. Her ethics have always come in to question where she was employed. Just recently she went to work for a company. She had been there for less than a week and was given the company credit card to buy coffee, tea and a few other office supplies. She ended up spending R2500.00 and buying clothes and shoes for her husband. WHO DOES THAT?!

Did I ever tell you that she faked her suicide once because I refused to draw R500.00 and ‘lend’ it to her? This was before my eyes opened to her ways and I was in a total panic. I even phoned the police. She came home with a total BS story that didn’t even make sense about how she had parked her car on the side of one of the national roads and put a pipe from the exhaust into the window (nothing blocking the open gaps in the window to prevent ventilation – DUH), she also claimed the pipe and everything were already in the car. Some ‘valiant’ man pulled over, took her to hospital and paid the bill apparently. What a load of bull.


I’m working in another portfolio today. I hate this portfolio. More often than not the feedback I have to give customers is negative and they usually get angry. It’s not a nice way to spend a day. I’m the only one in my team who hasn’t had a turn yet, so by default I have to go over today. Suck!

(Uncle) Steve

I wanted to write about (Uncle) Steve because he is such a classic character in my life right now. Let the record state that (Uncle) Steve is ancient and I can’t HELP but to call him uncle, yet he can’t stand it. Sometimes we just call him Oom or Oom Steve. It seems as though none of us can shake the habit of addressing him as uncle.

(Uncle) Steve has impeccable manners. He stands up when a lady enters or leaves the room. He believes in paying you compliments – only if he feels you really deserve them. He has a good time with us and keeps us entertained for ages telling us stories from his life.

He’s definitely a colourful character. He has lived such a full life and has wonderful stories to tell. Wonderfully exciting stories. If you connect the dots between his stories you can figure out that he was once part of the Andre Stander gang. One of those who was arrested for armed robbery – that makes for some good story telling!

Unfortunately (Uncle) Steve is ill. He has stomach cancer. They’ve removed the tumours, but the cancer is back. They wanted to burn it or something and he refused treatment. Apparently he only has a few months left to live.

This is why I have decided to dedicate this post to (Uncle) Steve and his memory – whilst alive, so that I don’t ever forget him.

I will most likely refer to (Uncle) Steve again sometimes and perhaps even relate one of his stories that was particularly funny or interesting. The other day he spoke about the death of Elvis…and it dawned on me that he was actually alive when that happened.

I wonder how old he really is…I should ask him.

Do you have a character in your life that deserves a posting?