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Tag Archives: Gynae

The birth of PrincessIce

Just before Christmas we were visiting with Milla and Dennis when I started feeling contractions. They felt different to Braxton Hicks, but I had no back ache. That night between 01:00 and 03:30 I was having contractions about every 5 minutes…then suddenly nothing. Everything stopped. Christmas came and went uneventfully.

We spent New Year’s Eve with Milla and them again; everyone waiting with baited breath to see if PrincessIce would make an appearance. She stay firmly put. On News Year’s Day I was in a lot of pain. My pelvis hurt so badly I could only limp around. Sitting down/getting up/turning around were all excrutiating. We spent the day at the in laws. I spent a little time in the pool hoping for some relief, no such luck. I spent the rest of the day on the bed in front of the fan, occasionally in tears because I couldn’t move without hurting myself. I moaned on Twitter and even said I would ask the gynae to take her out at my appointment the next day since I could not handle it anymore.

Our gynae appointment was scheduled for 8 am, but when we arrived the receptionist was surprised to see us. The gynae was in theater. When I had seen his partner in December they had forgotten to write my appointment down in the book. I showed my appointment card with my booking and we were asked to be patient. We waited a little under an hour which is pretty standard anyway. Before we even started he told me he is not available over the weekend as he had some personal business to attend to. I advised him about my discomfort and we joked about the epidural as we usually do. I mentioned that I wouldn’t mind if he took her out. He did a scan and estimated her weight at around 3.3/3.5 kg. He said he would like to do an internal examination, which was pretty damn uncomfortable. Why do they tell you to relax when they are sticking fingers all the way up to your cervix?!? Because they don’t know what that feels like…is why! He then dropped a bombshell…I was already. 1.5 cm dilated!

He sat us down and asked whether we would like to meet our daughter that day. Even though it was something I actually did want, I was faced with mixed emotions. Babyice was born at 38 weeks and 5 days. I was 38 weeks 5 days pregnant. Babyice was born on the 2nd of February, it was the 2nd of January. I asked how we would proceed and the gynae said we would induce and PrincessIce should arrive by about 17:30. I have terrible memories of the pain of induced birth from when Jamie was born, but I decided we should take the plunge!

The gynae phoned the labour ward to warn them I was coming and that they must make sure they call him to administer my epidural in time. Heh. I was sent straight to the ward and prepped. We called Leebeesa to come and fetch Babyice as we had arranged that she would look after him while his sister was born. Rudi started notifying family and friends while I notified people via Twitter and Facebook.

The gynae induced around 10:00 and said he would be back by 11:45 to administer the epidural. Contractions started and were manageable. We were told to walk around in the ward a bit. Just like in the movies! 😛 We never did that with Babyice. The contractions started getting stronger and I wished I had a birthing ball. 11:45 came and went. I became increasingly cranky and repeatedly asked them to check where the gynae was. He was dropping the ball! I had not had breakfast as the appointment was really early, I only drank some Energade to fight off the hunger. When the contractions and pain became too much for me to handle I brought it all up. Rudi was sweet enough to tie up my hair for me and wipe my mouth. I didn’t actually want my mouth wiped, but he was just trying to help. Eventually at almost 13:00 the gynae waltzed in there and they got me ready. Rudi held my hand while the epidural was done. It hurt a lot less than I remember and before long I could feel that warm feeling washing over my legs. He also injected what he referred to as a cocktail which must of had some happy drugs in it. If asked to describe how I felt, the word ‘lovely’ comes to mind. I was 3 cm dilated when the epidural was administered. The only side effect I experienced from the epidural was some itching and just before birth I was extremely cold, teeth chattering cold. My waters were broken and I sent Rudi off to go get food ask he had also not eaten all day.

Rudi had not even been gone for an hour and a half when they came to check me again. I was dilated 7 cm! The gynae “topped up” my epidural to ensure I didn’t suddenly experience pain at the most painful time possible. With Babyice it took me quite a few hours to dilate. I was sure that the epidural would slow down the dilation. The nurse started to prepare for the birth. I could feel PrincessIce’s head moving down into the birth canal. Those last 3 cm happened really fast! Before you could say push, I was told to push! It was really difficult for me to push since the new epidural meds were still pretty fresh and I couldn’t feel whether or not I was pushing. I couldn’t even feel the immense pressure of her exiting as I did with Babyice. The gynae, nurse and Rudi all guided me and cheered me on as I did the best I could. In a few minutes I heard her cry for the first time. I couldn’t see her, but the look on Rudi’s face was priceless. The first thing he said was ‘And she has your nose’.

Rudi cut the umbilical chord and she was immediately placed on my chest. She was still covered in gunk 🙂 . She is just perfect. PrincessIce weighed a wopping 3.795 kg at birth! (Babyice had weighed 3.555 kg) A minute or two later the nurse spotted the breastfeeding consultant walking past and beckoned her. She helped me to latch PrincessIce and we got breastfeeding off to a start minutes after birth, just as I had wanted.

Again I was blessed with a perfect birth. I only received one stitch this time and it doesn’t need any intervention or treatment.

Thank you for all the messages of love, support, concern and congratulations received. We were overwhelmed.

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Kangaroo Care

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So beautiful

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My family

At the hospital where she was born dads get to mount a pink or blue flag on the hospital’s roof to represent the birth of their child. Babyice went with:

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Babyice with his sister's flag

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Flags

PrincessIce was the only girl born at the hospital that day.

32 week appointment

We went to see the gynae last week. There were only two couples in the waiting room when we arrived, meaning that he wasn’t too backed up. We were in for a nice surprise as Being Mom had left hampers for all the pregnant mommies. I’m a sucker for freebies and the hamper included free nappies! Free nappies are the bestest! (and not just 5 like you get in your Discovery baby bag).

 

 

Being Mom Hamper

 

 

Before long we were ushered into the gynae’s office. He asked me under what circumstances I would come into the labour ward, probably checking whether I knew what signs to look out for when going into labour. I think I scored top marks 😉 Then we were off to see PrincessIce. She is growing well and weighs about 2 kilograms now. There are no signs that she is going to try and make an early escape and he is most certain she will not arrive before January. He wasn’t even able to give us a photo of her since madam has her head firmly lodged into my pelvis. This would explain my extreme discomfort when trying to walk! If one more person tells me I should walk more/exercise to try and relieve this discomfort I am going to punch them in the face. Especially if they do not have a head lodged in their pelvis at the time, which is always the case.  My gynae is a funny guy. He said he is practicing his epidurals like a runner would train for the comrades. He says every time he administers an epidural he thinks of me and he is doing pretty well. He says the sweetest things 😀 Apparently the way PrincessIce is positioned now she is in the optimum position for a complication-free natural delivery.

 

 

A colleague scared the crap out of me yesterday. Another colleague of ours gave birth at the same hospital. She is also with my gynae. Apparently she went in at around 16:00. It was weekend. She gave birth around 22:00…before the gynae had even seen her! This also means she didn’t get an epidural!  Shit. I will just have to trust that my gynae will be there the day I go into labour, that he will have time to give me my epidural that I so desperately want and that I will have as beautiful a birth as I did with Babyice. I must really do my best not to worry about all this now. It is out of my control and worrying about it isn’t going to change anything. Right? Right. *breathe*

 

 

 

He has scheduled an appointment for me with his partner in December. He said he would rather not tempt fate and schedule an appointment for me for when he gets back from leave. In effect this means that I won’t see him again until we see each other in the delivery room! He said they would likely schedule another appointment for me in January, but that he doubts I’ll make it to any appointment they make for Jan. Flippen hell. After that we booked my hospital bed. I’ve already gotten authorization from the medical aid…everything is starting to feel very REAL!

 

 

I discussed with the receptionist the R 1500.00 co-payment for the birth and she said we don’t have to pay it. Apparently the medical aid’s policy has changed since I had Babyice and there is no co-payment on my plan anymore. SCORE! I save R 1500.00, right? Well, sort of. I found out the same day that Discovery doesn’t cover the actual Mirena device which I plan to have put in after the birth. The discovery rate for the device is R 2060.00. Thank goodness for the saving of the R 1500.00 though. I’ve put that money away in my 30 day account to pay towards the Mirena when the time comes.

 

 

The nesting instinct is still strong. Whenever we bring stuff into the house I feel like crying. I want to get rid of stuff…not bring in more junk! And everything is junk. We went to a few furniture stores yesterday and found no freestanding cupboards. We went to two pine furniture shops and found what we are looking for, with a big fat price tag of between R 2500.00 and R 3000.00, without a coat of paint! So I’ve decided to get a 2 door linen cupboard from Smartfurn. Basically it’s like a wardrobe cupboard, but only has shelves and no hanging space. It might be made out of chipboard, but it is less than half the price of the pine furniture. All I know is that I don’t want something with drawers. Drawers have repeatedly failed me! I hope to get the cupboard this week. I lay awake at 3:00 this morning visualizing what I would pack into the cupboard. Yes. I have serious issues!

27 Week Gynae Appointment

WARNING: I talk about peeing in cups here. If that is TMI for you, stop reading.

 

 

I had my 27 week gynae appointment on the 10th of October. I made my appointment in the late afternoon so that Rudi could finally join me for an appointment, sans interference from his boss. I was so happy to have him there.

 

 

After my last failed attempt to pee in the ‘cup’ at the gynae I was stressed ALL day about offering them a sample at my late afternoon appointment. The ‘cups’ are really no bigger than a pill container so if you don’t have enough pee to move it around and catch some, you might just not get any in there at all. I had a strategy. Last pee at 14:00 and then start drinking like a mad woman to fill my bladder before we go. I got a 650 ml Super Fruit smoothie from Kuaui and had a glass of water after getting back to the office. If you know me, you know I am very bad at drinking anything. I don’t like to drink. I’m not a water drinker. Even at gym I seldom drink water. For me to consume almost a litre of liquid in 2 hours, you know I’m determined. By 16:00 I still didn’t feel like I needed to go to the loo urgently and I was still a bit worried.  We toddled off to the hospital and arrived to a waiting room FULL of patients. Usually everyone sitting there when I arrive still needs to be seen. I relaxed a little as I realized I could give all the liquids a little longer to filter though before having to attempt to submit my sample. I grabbed an extra container from the basket and snuck it into my handbag. I’ll be damned if I will be stressed all day again next time. I’ll just pee in the receptacle at my leisure and stow it in a ziplock bag in my handbag till my appointment.  Eventually I felt like the urge was strong enough for me to attempt it. Embarrassingly I had even Googled pictures to see where the best place would be to hold the cup. I didn’t know as much as I thought about my anatomy, in spite of watching the Oprah episodes with the diagrams of female genitalia. I waddled off to the loo…and I aced it. I could of filled 2 cups! In fact, I needed to go to the loo again before we got a chance to see the gynae at all.

 

 

There were a few couples in the waiting room. In particular a couple expecting their first baby and a woman who had come on her own who isn’t pregnant. This lady was talking the hind leg off a donkey! She was dishing out a lot of birth/parenting advice to the expecting couple (none of which I particularly disagreed with) and by the time it was their turn to see the gynae their eyes were as wide as saucers. I think she might have scared the cheezits out of them. Eventually we were left alone with her…at which point she divulged the story of her daughter. Her poor family has been through so much. Her daughter was born 2 months prematurely and at the age of 4 months suffered a severe heart attack. Only then did they realize that she had been born with no chambers in her heart. Her stories about ICU and living in the hospital unfolded and eventually I was sitting there in tears. She wasn’t deliberately trying to upset me, but her story was so heart wrenching that I couldn’t help but feel for her. In the end the story has a happy ending, her daughter is now 2 and half and they constructed chambers for her heart from bovine heart muscle. Apparently she will need a valve replacement at a later stage in life, but otherwise she will have a normal life and even be allowed to partake in sports. We had almost been there for 2 hours when we finally got called into the office…

 

 

They gynae called us in saying ‘Come on in, before you two need to order breakfast’. He was in a very jovial mood considering he was running two hours behind and had obviously had quite a day. He asked how I was doing and I reported that everything was going well and that things had improved since I last saw him. Then, as is my custom, I asked him about his recent success rate with epidurals. I then had to wait for him to stop laughing. He knows every time he sees me the subject will be raised. Apparently he is still running on a 100% success rate and he feels good about his chances to administer a successful epidural for me. He then told me about another patient who is the other extreme and insists on having no epidural, even if she asks for one in a ‘moment of weakness’.  He had a look at PrincessIce and we’re happy to report that she is doing well. She is still average size and at the time of my scan weighed about 1 kg. That’s two blocks of butter! She is very active and he still thinks she’ll only make her appearance in 2013, even if it’s the very first day. He said we should be ready for her anywhere from the 1st of January. As long as she comes after the 27th (when my gynae gets back from leave) I’ll be happy. I really don’t want to give birth with his scalpel-happy partner. He doesn’t foresee any problems with me being able to give natural birth again and said that it is much less likely to tear with a second baby. That’s good news, although, she might just have a big head.

 

 

I must say that I am really enjoying this pregnancy a lot more than I did with Babyice. I am a lot more relaxed, not only about the outcome of the pregnancy, but the birth as well. Not being fraught with anxiety certainly has its perks. Sometimes I just stop in the middle of whatever I am doing, look down at my bump and have a surge of humility and gratitude. I can then be seen with a stupid smile plastered across my face. I am more inclined to talk to PrincessIce and am definitely forming much more of a bond with her while in the womb than I ever dared to with Babyice. I am a little sad that I wasn’t able to have the same kind of experience with Babyice, but I understand that it was completely natural for me to feel the way I did when I was pregnant with him. That pregnancy came about just six months after we lost Jamie and all that fear and grief was still very raw. I can tell Rudi is bonding a lot more too. He actually picked up a pregnancy/birth/baby book in the gynae’s office and read some of it! This is very unusual behaviour for him. He also often wants to feel her kick and seems a lot less distant than he was with the previous pregnancy. I never felt that the loss of Jamie affected him deeply like it did me, but it is very apparent to me now that he felt it just as much as I did and that he was also fearful of the future with Babyice.

 

 

 

I am now 28 weeks already. I gave birth to Babyice at 38 weeks and 5 days. In no time at all our baby will be here. I find myself extremely broody when seeing other little babies. It’s very odd. On the one hand I am impatient to be with her and on the other I want to savour this last pregnancy.

Bossholes Bad for Blood Pressure

So a lot has happened in the past week.

 

 

 

Last week Monday I had a gynae appointment. Rudi’s boss AGAIN refused to let him go with me to the gynae. I was livid. My friend at work also couldn’t take me so Rudi had to come and fetch me at work (without his boss knowing, he was driving through the area) so that I could pick up our car to go by myself. At first I felt weird about going by myself, but in the end it was really fine. Of course, once I got there I was required to pee in a cup. Well, it’s not really a cup. More like a sample ‘cup’, so it’s a lot smaller. I failed the test. I mean…I completely missed the cup. There was very little that managed to get in there, a few drops at most. Thankfully the sample was concentrated enough for them to test. I wish I had known that before I demanded water and started chugging it. I don’t think I will ever get the aiming thing down. I will just have to go with a really full bladder and hope that enough lands in there. PrincessIce has grown so much since the last time I saw her. Her measurements were much better this time around and she is now no longer small, but firmly average 😀 He said everything looks so good in there that we could skip the 22 week fetal assessment and save ourselves R750.00. He saw nothing that concerned him and felt comfortable to go ahead with regular visits. I asked the gynae whether I should be concerned about this birth progressing faster than the previous one, leaving no time for an epidural. He said I need not worry. He then smirked and said he knew I would ask him how he was doing with the epidurals and that his record remained impeccable. My gynae knows me well. I also asked him about birth control solutions after PrincessIce is born. He thought I implied I wanted my tubes tied, as he said that it was a rather rash decision at my young age (Ha! Young!). I told him I was considering having a Mirena put in and he agreed that it would be a viable option. To have this done I would need to go for my ‘6 week’ check up 7 or 8 weeks after birth for them to be able to put in the device. Apparently with C sections they sometimes just put the device in while they are in there, but not when you give birth naturally. I know there could be some side effects from the Mirena, but this is the case with all birth control and I am sure it will be fine. I really hope that Rudi can go with me for the next appointment. I made it at 4 in the afternoon so that we may circumvent his bosshole.

 

 

 

You see, Rudi’s boss really does not have a reason for not letting him go. He is still punishing him for what happened at the beginning of 2010 when Rudi tried to make a move to another company. He fired Rudi when that happened, but after a call from the CCMA reinstated him on the same day. Talk about holding a grudge. I can’t think of anything else it could be. When I was pregnant with Babyice he never had a problem letting Rudi come with me to the doctor. The last time Rudi was supposed to go with me there wasn’t even work for him to do. He gave him permission to leave at 11, but to expect half a day’s pay. This after him insisting that Rudi doesn’t get paid per hour, but per day whenever his overtime is queried. Bloody snake. Last week there ‘wasn’t enough work’ (I think he may have forgotten to order material) so he let Rudi come home early on Thursday and gave him the day off on Friday. Rudi called the CCMA to check if he was still entitled to get paid and they said yes. He didn’t get paid for the time he wasn’t there. So what does he do? Report him to the CCMA and potentially get even further into his bad books? He really gets treated like dirt there. I was in tears yesterday morning. I was so upset. Not only because he treats Rudi so badly, but because I am starting to worry about money. Where Rudi’s income will come from should his bosshole become even more spiteful and of course his reduced income with the current spitefulness. If Rudi had other prospects I might not be as worried. I just hope it will all pan out in the end and that Rudi can get out of there and find a better job where he is treated fairly and with respect. He is a hard worker and doesn’t deserve what he is getting now. Apparently one of his colleagues came in half day Thursday and Friday and got full pay. Singled out much?

 

 

 

On Wednesday I headed back to the dentist to close up the root canal. I was hoping it was my last appointment, but it was not to be. There was some pain this time again, but it was not as bad as the last time. He drilled down into the canals and then inserted the wire things they put in there to anchor the tooth. He then put another temporary filling in. He said that there was still a chance the root canal could fail and I could lose the tooth, but he doesn’t think that will be the case since I haven’t had any pain. While I was there I pointed out that something was feeling uncomfortable on the other side of my mouth. He had a look and I need another filling. It never rains. He said I could come back and do it another time, but I want him to get it over with. I don’t want to end up having to do another root canal because I left it too long. So tomorrow I head back to have the root canal tooth built back up and filled and to do the other filling as well. Hopefully after that I won’t see the dentist again for 6 months! Already R1400 has been deducted from the medical aid for all this nonsense and I’m sure the next two fillings will be at least another R800 🙁 I guess I’ll be paying the gynae cash for the rest of the year.

 

 

 

After the dentist I headed off to have my hair done. It was lovely seeing my hairdresser again. I finally convinced him to put some purple in my hair! He was still very conservative about it and hid the streaks pretty well. He changed the blonde he used in my hair a bit and I really like the way it turned out. We also chopped quite a chunk off the ends and shaped my hair a bit. The ends were really beyond dead and damaged. It really was time for them to go. Once he had cut them off it looked like a nest of dry straw lying on the floor. I’m glad to be rid of them! It’s also nice to have a bit of shape to my hair instead of the dead straight. I grew my layers out for a long time wanting to plait my hair and then I realized I barely plait my hair anyway. Some pics:

 

 

 

Shape/Purple

 

 

 

My next blog post will tell you all about the Cosmopolitan Cover Girl Masterclass…

Most Epic Baking Fail

On Friday I received some margarine bricks to test for a survey. Since I already have margarine at home, I thought I would do some baking to make use of the margarine and test it at the same time. I went searching for a recipe that uses quite a bit of margarine/butter. Someone on Twitter provided me with a very easy recipe for custard biscuits and it sounded perfect for the purpose.

 

 

So on Saturday I set about baking. Measuring, creaming and mixing. It all looked good to begin with…

 

 

Ready for the oven…

 

 

Until…

 

 

Epic fail!

 

 

They all melted into nothing. While I was making the mixture I already figured something was wrong…there was just too much butter…but I persevered. Then I thought I could ‘fix’ it by adding more ‘dry ingredients’ and tried another 2 batches after liberally adding more flour/custard powder/icing sugar, with the same results. Eventually I gave up. My confidence shattered. I chatted a bit to the person who gave me the recipe on Twitter and she pointed out where I had made the error. Rudi insisted I try again (I’m not sure why. He probably just really wanted biscuits). On Sunday I was rudely awoken from my nap and told to get baking as it was getting late. I started again, without any confidence. I then roped Rudi in to help me measure something on the kitchen scale. PING! Light bulb. Porridge brains ASSUMED that the brick of margarine was 250g and not 500g (the bricks were unmarked for the survey)…of course everyone knows that bricks are 500g, except when your brain is melted, you don’t. I also added only about 1/3 of the flour I was supposed to add the first time around because I didn’t read the recipe properly every single time I read it. So I made Rudi do all the measurements just to be sure I didn’t fudge it up again. Finally….

 

 

 

Biscuits!

 

 

 

They really are delicious and very easy to make, despite my huge mishap *blush*. I brought some to work today to share with my colleagues and they were a hit! Someone even compared them to Bakers Eet-Sum-Mor biscuits. They are melt in your mouth good. So if you’d like to give it a whirl, here’s the recipe (provided by @shirras1):

 

  • 675 g  butter
  • 675g   flour
  • 225g   icing sugar
  • 225g   custard powder

 

Cream butter and icing sugar together. Add everything else and mix. Roll mixture into balls, flatten with a fork. Bake in the oven at 180 degrees celcius.

 

 

I halved the recipe as I didn’t want to make too much and could always make again if necessary. She didn’t specify a baking time, but I found 20 minutes to be optimal in my oven. When baking for 25 minutes the tops were nice a brown, but the bottoms were slightly burnt.

 

 

 

Other than that I have been suffering with terrible pain in my gums. Painful/bleeding gums is a common pregnancy symptom, but this is persistent and VERY painful. I mentioned this on Twitter and Tertia alerted me to the fact that problems with your gums/teeth could lead to preterm labour. Great! Another thing to worry about! The pain is so bad that it sometimes wakes me up at night and I struggle to fall asleep. The pain comes and goes but when it comes…EINA! I phoned the gynae this morning to ask what I should do. My gynae is on leave, but his partner recommended I start using Sensodyne toothpaste for sensitive teeth and gums, rinsing with a mouthwash recommended by a dentist and go for a check up. I called the dentist office and the dental hygienist said she’ll see me for a cleaning and a check. When I told her the pain wakes me up though, she said that it is most likely a toothache and not just my gums. Bloody wonderful. I was under the impression you can’t really have dental work done when you’re pregnant, but I found this article which has put my mind at ease. The dental hygienist said they can certainly help me since I’m in my second trimester. So I’ll be off to the dentist and hopefully he’ll fix me up in one appointment.

Scared

On Friday the gynae said something. Something small. I was fine all weekend, but I woke up this morning with a sense of foreboding. A horrible fear. I thought about how he measured and re-measured and measured again. About how he sighed. He has sighed like that before. The day he was scanning Jamie. Just before the devastating news. When he sighed like that I knew he saw something that troubled him. My heart sank a little and I was once again very disappointed that Rudi wasn’t there.

 

So this morning I was on the verge of tears all morning. Not able to say anything out loud. Rudi was not compassionate. Told me to shush and stop being negative. I scolded him later and told him that shushing me was not the way to deal with it. Eventually later at work he sent me a message saying he is sure everything is fine.

 

I am allowed to be scared. I have every right to fear the unknown and things I do not have direct control over. I can fear the worst because I have lived through it! It is not something that happens to other people. Yes, I have a bouncy, beautiful and healthy child at home, but I also have a child in the grave. A girl child. When the gynae said that this is a stage of variables, he also said ‘not sure if she is struggling’. Fuck man. Why say that? Why say that to a woman who knows the darkness that lies beyond bad news?

 

I feel better after discussing it with a friend. I’m sure that the gynae would not have stretched my next appointment for 5 – 5 1/2 weeks if he needed to check something in between. If he was worried he would of wanted to see me sooner to check her progress. Right? Right. I’m still worried though. It still niggles at me. I suppose I will never ever be able to just enjoy this pregnancy without feeling hesitant. I will forever live in fear of another child being taken from me, even once they are outside me.

 

Just another 5 1/2 months before I can step off this particular hormonal roller coaster…and onto another.

 

I cannot wait to start feeling her kick me. Perhaps that will bring me some comfort. Maybe that will provide some reassurance that she is okay.

15 week scan

So I went to the gynae sans Rudi today. Rudi’s boss decided yesterday that he was an asshole of such a nature that he wouldn’t allow Rudi to take me. Our appointment was scheduled for 11:15. He said Rudi couldn’t go and apparently ranted about the appointment being on a Friday. He then told Rudi that there wasn’t work anyway and that he could leave at 10:15 and would be paid half day. So, just to be clear, there is no work, but you cannot take your wife to the doctor and go see your baby, unless I can pay you half of what I would of if you didn’t go. I arranged for a friend/colleague to take me instead. I knew she wouldn’t mind, but I was disappointed that Rudi wouldn’t be there. What if the gynae said something important? What if there was something wrong? What if they were wrong about the gender of the baby?

 

Anyway we went off to the gynae’s office and waited a very long time to see him. He probably had to catch a baby or performed an emergency C-section earlier today because his waiting room was packed with missed appointments. Eventually we got to see him. My blood pressure looks good. He says there is absolutely nothing that I can do about my skin, the persistent nausea or fatigue. He said I would just have to deal. There is no magic solution. Turns out I was mistaken about my own blood type and that they had the correct blood type on record the entire time (I was confused about this after donating blood and being told what my blood type is).

 

Then I went for a scan. He confirmed that we are having a girl. He said the sonographer was brave to venture a guess at 12 weeks, but that she was right. He says she is very active, even though I cannot feel her myself yet. He measured and measured and measured again. I wondered why he kept measuring her head over and over. He says she is a little smaller than he expected her to be at this stage. He checked back on our fetal assessment and said she still fell into the average range at that point and that I shouldn’t worry about it. He also said we were in a period of pregnancy where things can vary a lot. Apparently my womb has rolled out the red carpet and is playing the perfect hostess to our little girl.

 

So all is good on the pregnancy front, except the lingering first trimester baddies. Hopefully those will bugger hastily!

 

It’s a girl!

 

Squished up

 

She’s got my nose! (Thank goodness!)

 

Apologies again for the photos of the pics, still have no located a scanner that will scan these. I will work on this! If you look closely you’ll see that the measurements indicate that I am 14 weeks and 2 days, instead of 15 weeks. This is what he was talking about. Hopefully she grows steadily and quickly now and everything will be fine.

Gynae Appointment

So the day of the gynae appointment finally dawned and I was a little excited. I tried to concentrate on getting my bladder as full as possible for the scan. I was also expecting to have a pap smear and blood tests. The last time I went to the loo was at 09:30 and I started drinking water after that. Not too much, just 750ml. My appointment was scheduled for 11:15.

 

We went to the hospital and spent some time in the waiting room, which is always the case. There was nobody else there, but I was grateful for the little extra time the water had to make its way through to bladder. We went in and the gynae said no pap smear or blood tests. That was a relief 🙂 He then popped me on to the table for a scan. All I wanted to see was a heartbeat and in the very beginning I couldn’t. I was also a bit distracted by the pressure on my adequately filled bladder. I was also very relieved that my bladder was full enough since he mentioned that he would of done an internal scan if the external failed. EEK! (Never had one of those). Then there it was. The flicker. The heartbeat. I nearly burst into tears. I’m nearly crying just as I type this. Flicker, flicker. Flicker, flicker. The scan says I am 7 weeks and 6 days and my due date is 11 January 2013. Babyice was predicted to be due on 11 February 2010 and he came on the 2nd. The gynae suspects I will give birth earlier again and that it will probably happen between the 2nd and 6th of January. My grandmother’s birthday is the 6th of January. She is ecstatic.

 

The gynae also said I may announce the pregnancy to the world and that it looks well established. Yay! Our baby is about the size of a grain of rice. Isn’t it an amazing miracle?! You can see a heartbeat in something the size of a grain of rice! I’ve posted a widget so you can follow the progress at any time 🙂

 

I am very chuffed. Thank you so much for all the positive and supportive comments on my last post. Thank you for all your prayers, thoughts and messages on Facebook and Twitter. I can’t thank you enough for your unfaltering companionship during my journey x

Guarding my heart

It is a natural instinct I suppose, to be careful. Once bitten, twice shy – as they say.

 

My first gynae appointment is on Friday morning. Every single time I start to feel excited I stop and push the feeling away. Every time I think to myself ‘It’s just two more sleeps’ I give myself a mental slap on the wrist. I keep telling myself not to get my hopes up, so that I can expect not to be disappointed.

 

This feeling stems from that day over three years ago, when I was blissfully ignorant and naive. It was our 20 week check up at the gynae. I was very excited. Hopefully that day we would finally found out the gender of our first baby. I counted the sleeps. I could of jumped out of my skin. That was also the day our dreams fell apart and the nightmare began. Since then I have picked up the pieces and glued everything back together again. Most days I can get through with no problems. Some days (usually when I’m exceptionally hormonal) I can become very emotional about it. I don’t take away from it at all. I don’t deny myself the opportunity to grieve when I need to. Granted, it does not happen often.

 

Now as I stand at the beginning of this road again, I am still haunted by my past experience.  When I was pregnant with Babyice, I tried not to get excited. I barely spoke to him. I think I was in denial for an entire 9 months. Surely I couldn’t/wouldn’t have this healthy baby. Perhaps I felt like I didn’t deserve him. I didn’t want to bond with him for fear of losing him. Despite going out and shopping for him from the very beginning, which I never did with Jamie. I think somewhere inside myself I knew that there was something wrong with my first pregnancy. Maybe it was because I was so sick all the time, that I had no desire to buy a single thing. Maybe it was because we didn’t know the gender yet…although there were many genderless things that we would of needed (i.e. bottles, sterilizers, nappies, etc). I literally bought something for Babyice before I even found out I was pregnant. This time? I have thought of things we would need to buy. I haven’t been paid yet, so haven’t actually had an opportunity to buy something frivolous for the new baby. I have mostly considered practical things like a new pram and another car seat. I suppose that means I do have a desire to provide for this baby. So maybe my gut is saying everything is all good. I’ve even told the new baby to ‘grow’ a few times.

 

I digress. This gynae appointment. It’s coming up and I desperately want to be excited about it, but I find myself swerving away from the excitement. I don’t want to be excited and run the risk of having my heart torn out again. I was a good girl. I took my folic acid for 6 months before getting pregnant. We planned this. Again it happened very quickly after I went off the pill…another thing that worries me. My boobs are definitely as sore now. Score. Not as much morning sickness as before…worried (yes I know some people don’t have it at all. Bitches).

 

On the one hand I am sure that it is completely normal to be a bit nervous or scared. On the other hand I resent it. I just want to be happy and excited. That is all.

 

Hopefully once this appointment is over…and we have seen a heartbeat I can let my guard down. Hopefully.

 

And I hope I didn’t jump the gun by telling everybody. Having to face them months later when they ask is a cruel punishment.

Sleeping, scones and scared

We had an accident free potty training weekend! Babyice is doing very well with the potty training. The day mother is very impressed with him. Remember, she has been potty training children for the last 30 years, so she has a good idea what to expect. She didn’t expect him to catch on so fast and thought it would take him a lot longer to get the hang of things. I am super proud of him.

 

On Saturday he slept till 09:30! Officially the latest he has ever slept! He did wake up earlier than that and came to bed with us and asked us to watch DVDs, but we told him we were still sleeping and eventually he relented and went back to sleep with us. We woke up again before he did!

 

My sleeping beauty

 

I baked cheese scones on Saturday and also felt like having bread and butter pudding. Someone had tweeted about it and I wanted some. I found an easy recipe online and managed to make it with ingredients I already had in the house. I’ll definitely make it again. Our little monster has decided that creeping into bed with mommy and daddy at night is a good idea. On the one hand I don’t mind snuggling with him when he isn’t kicking me, but on the other hand I think we need to get him back into his sleep training routine. It is getting mighty cold as winter starts to set in and it is so nice for us all to be snuggled up together.

 

Cheese Scones

 

 

Leebeesa from Pink Penguin Jewellery made me a new chain for my bola so that I can start wearing it again once I’m further along:

 

New Bola Chain

 

I was booked off from work on Friday. After having a really bad runny tummy from Tuesday, I finally relented on Thursday and went to the GP. My regular GP wasn’t in the office, so I opted to go to the GP that usually sees Babyice. When Babyice saw him he said ‘My doctor!’. I thought that was SO adorable. It is the same GP that stitched up his face after his accident and they have been a pair ever since. He diagnosed me with gastro and said I should stay at home to rest on Friday. Firstly I was disgruntled about having to go to the GP and pay R300.00 for an appointment for something that some Immodium would have sorted out under normal circumstances and secondly I didn’t want to stay off work. We get penalised on our quarterly bonus if we are off sick. I had to weigh up my priorities and decide what was more important to me and eventually opted to stay at home. I was given some sachets to assist with rehydration, sachets that they give babies with runny tummies and some probiotics. I started feeling better by Friday evening and feel much better today. Since yesterday I have had nausea that is very rude. It is subtle, but very much there. It is making me rather nervous since the ladies room at work is quite a trek from my desk and I might not make it all the way there in case of an emergency!

 

My first gynae appointment is on Friday morning. I am excited, but scared and nervous too. I suppose the possibility that something could be wrong will always be in the back of my mind. My symptoms don’t feel as severe as they were before with Babyice. I don’t feel as sick (I haven’t gotten sick yet and am able to brush my teeth without doing so) and my breasts aren’t as sore. That makes me nervous. My skin is terrible this time around though. It literally looks like I have a rash on the one side of my face. I told a colleague about it and she remembered that someone else got her a ‘magic cream’ from her local pharmacy that you can use for all sorts of skin ailments. It is a concoction that the pharmacy makes themselves, so it isn’t a regular product you can buy off the shelf. She brought me some from home and after applying it twice a day for a few days there was a vast improvement! I have now purchased my own little tub. While I was at home I became lax and didn’t put it on and my skin broke out again. I started applying it again and my skin is looking much better. While I know each pregnancy is different, there is a little realist in my head whispering bad things to me. I have already received my mother’s blessing from our priest last week Tuesday and hope and pray everything is going to go well.

 

I am really hoping we’ll get to see a heartbeat on Friday and get a definite answer on how far along I am.

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