acidicice

Tag Archives: Cancer

Wedding at Hathersage

On Saturday Rudi and I attended a wedding that I have been looking forward to for a very long time. A few years ago I was reunited with my paternal family including my father’s half brother, Hentie. Even though he is my uncle, there is only a 7 year age difference between us, so when I was little we used to play together and are socially on a similar level. I was so glad we were invited! I have been waiting for the couple to get married since he popped the question. I am just so happy for them. I liked his wife from the first time I met her. She really is a gem and also really gorgeous (I’ll find something wrong with her at some point…she’s can’t have everything 😉 ) It is also the first wedding we have been to in about 4 years.

 

Anyhow, the wedding was at Hathersage in Somerset West. What a gorgeous venue! The weather was dodgy all week, but when Saturday dawned it was a stunning day. The ceremony was held outside at the venue. The bride looked absolutely amazing. The ceremony was lovely. The pastor threw in a few jokes which is always nice and keeps the guests on their toes.

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I am so happy for them! Don’t they make a lovely couple? I was pleasantly surprised to see even more family that I have not seen since I was a little girl! My aunt was there with her husband and 3 children, 2 of whom I had never met. I wasn’t even aware of their existence till I reunited with this side of the family. My paternal grandmother and grandfather who moved 2 000 km away about 6 months ago were also there. I was so happy I got to see them again. My grandmother has officially been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and it is really starting to show 🙁 She seemed disoriented a lot of the time. She just seemed so lost and it broke my heart. On the other hand my grandfather who has been receiving chemotherapy for stomach cancer got good news from the doctor saying he does not require chemo anymore. So awesome! It was very hard to say goodbye to them. Realistically I will never see them again and it is a bitter pill to swallow.

After the ceremony while the registers were being signed we collected bubbles and dried flowers to shower the new couple with as they walked past us on their way to take photos. We enjoyed some champagne and finger food offered to us by waitrons circulating with platters. We gathered in the venue, the tables were beautifully decorated. Simple, elegant and understated. The colour scheme was black, white and silver.

 

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The food was absolutely delicious! We loved *everything*. If we were eating at a restaurant I would go back there again. I also received the best wedding favour ever! The bride hand picked each wedding favour for the ladies. We all received a different one. I am SO in love with the one she chose for me and knowing she chose it especially for me makes it so special.

 

 

I mean, really. So stunning. I will treasure it! We had such a good time. Rudi and I even danced together for the first time in aaaages. We don’t get to go out alone much. We don’t have family that can just watch the kids for us any time and babysitters aren’t always readily available unless we can pay them, so an evening out gets very expensive quite quickly. We were more than willing to make an exception for this occasion though! The kids stayed with the day mother’s daughter and grandchildren while we partied till midnight. We got pictures of the girls teaching Elijah netball and playing dress up with Gabby. It was so cute!

 

 

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It was just such a wonderful event and day. While we were at the wedding I received a notification from Facebook and found out one of my friends had given birth to her baby. I was elated! They decided not to find out what the gender of their baby was, so everyone was waiting with bated breath to find out if they were having a boy or a girl. It’s a girl! She is also breastfeeding her baby and I hope to be able to support her and help her if she needs it.

 

Thanks so much to Hentie and Karen for sharing their special day with us!

Family

Three years ago I was reunited with my paternal grandparents. I wrote about that here. We recently visited them. On our last few visits my grandmother had been talking about going for testing as she thought she might have Alzheimer’s. On our last visit she confirmed that she had been formally diagnosed. She could not remember our last visit and meeting Gabby. She thought she was meeting her for the first time. We also (accidentally) found out that my grandfather was diagnosed with cancer of the bladder in July when he casually mentioned a “chemo injection”. Somehow this news never reached me. I think because we were separated for so long I am not part of the family grapevine anymore. My heart sank.

 

My grandparents are moving up country to live with one of their sons (not my father). They are currently living in a house owned by their youngest son (they have 3, one of which is my father and a daughter) and are opting to move to Mpumalanga. It is a good move for them as there will be someone there to assist them and help look after them on a day to day basis whereas now they are mostly doing things with help of their youngest son who also has a demanding career and a fiancé. There will be someone to help with chores, cooking, etc as well so my grandmother doesn’t have to do it all. For me this means that I will likely never see them again once they have moved.

 

I am torn. On the one hand I am going to miss them terribly. There is a big difference between not visiting someone and not being able to visit someone. I will make a plan to see them at least once a month until they leave. My grandfather is already working in his month’s notice at work. On the other hand I know this means that I will not have to watch these diseases ravage them. Apparently my grandfather stands a good chance at remission. I am afraid to hope. My maternal grandfather was given a very good prognosis as well and I watched him waste away. I don’t want to do that again. I want to remember him as I do now.

 

It is such a crappy situation. I hope to get at least a couple more visits in and want to take photos of them and us and the kids.  I know I’m lucky to have grandparents living at all (thanks to my mother who had me really young), but it is very hard watching them go. Whether they are moving away, or leaving this earth.

 

I am glad to have had these 3 years with them. Granted we have only seen them a handful of times, but they have been good. *sigh* Life is hard.

It has been so long…

…since I’ve blogged I wonder if I even remember how!


My grandfather is getting thinner and weaker. He is receiving care at home and the Morphine seems to be keeping him pain free. He is not himself though and he does hallucinate and become very dopey when he has taken his medication. He is also becoming very demanding and full of shit. I have absolutely no problem with it, but others in my family aren’t very happy about it. My grandfather has requested that EVERYONE see him by appointment only. Family included. Even the close family. My aunt and mother aren’t very happy about this as there is a lady from our church who is there every day. What they are not taking into consideration is that the lady is an angel. She sleeps there every night. In an upright position on an uncomfortable chair. There is a night nurse on duty, but she comes anyway. Her and my grandfather go way back. He was her family’s house priest and he helped them through really trying times and now she is paying him back with incredible kindness. She helps wash him, feed him (IF he eats), holds the bottle for him if he needs to pee and gives him love and moral support. She has been invaluable to my grandmother and grandfather while they are going through this very difficult time. So fuck whatever my aunt and mother think. I am in no way offended by any request my grandfather makes. If he is irritated by my presence and wants me to leave, so be it. I know it’s nothing personal. I know he is heavily medicated and that the medicine may have side affects. I want him to be as comfortable as possible. At the moment he insists on short visits, minimal noise and visits by appointment only. That is fine by me!


I expect that he will go any time now. I had quite a lucid visit with him yesterday and he said so more than once. It was lovely seeing him as he was. Although he seems to look good on certain days, he has gotten terribly thin. He is a shadow of the man he used to be. I hate to see him suffer and I feel very comforted by the fact that he feels ready to go home (in a spiritual sense). I am still very sad and I cry every time I think about it, but I am ready for him to go too. I want him to be pain free with no more worries and no more suffering.


Babyice is doing well. He has only two toofies now and we’re waiting for those top two to make their appearance. He has been on another course of antibiotics at the beginning of this month. I’m not even sure if I’m repeating anything I wrote in a previous blog post because it’s been so long between them! He is crawling/scooting backwards quite effectively now…although he gets frustrated quickly and then wants to be picked up. I am strongly considering sleep training him in the near future. I need to get past Rudi though. He HATES it when Babyice cries and believes it will be torturing him to leave him crying for any amount of time. I am quite a bit more hard core than him and can stand the crying if I know that Babyice doesn’t *need* anything. I want Rudi to hear it from the pediatrician’s mouth though, not just mine.


Work isn’t too bad. I’m in the new portfolio (the one I dreaded) and have been doing it for a month now without too many glitches. I’m not too fond of the snooty irate customers you get sometimes, but I guess that’s part and parcel of the job. I’ll be doing this work until 2 January at which point I will be going back to my old portfolio. We should also be getting new staff in the next month or so who will be assisting in the portfolio I’m working in now which will alleviate a lot of the strain we take so it will be much better toward the end of my stay here.


Not much else to catch up on. I’ve been so quiet on Twitter because I’ve been spending time with my family and working hard. I’ll try to be less scarce. I promise. I miss it!

Dear Oupa

Dear Oupa


I am writing you this letter because it is so hard for me to say these things out loud without breaking down. I know it hurts you to see us so sad, but I know you understand that we are suffering a great loss. I love you so dearly. You have always been a constant in my life; the only male role model worth looking up to. The only Oupa I have ever had.


My fondest childhood memories always include you. I remember all the things you used to do with me when I was a little girl. All the adventures you used to take me on. I remember going hiking, going to the petting zoos, museums, going to the beach. I remember the books you bought for me, the stories you would tell me. I know you did your best to cultivate a love of reading in me (it worked!) and an interest in the world around me (that worked too!). You tried to make the days fun for me and I treasure those memories I have with you.


There was a time where we drifted apart; where situations and people came between us. I regret that we missed out on that time together. I am very grateful that we reconnected and have spent the past few years in each other’s love and company. I am glad that I am here with you now, with an opportunity to say goodbye.


I write this with a heavy heart. We just had a conversation and you struggled to speak. It hurts me so much to see you suffer. I am so torn right now. I love you and wish you could be a part of my life from now on and I especially had hopes that Elijah could get to know what a special man you are. God has other plans for you now. As much as it pains me to let you go, I do not want to see you in pain. You do not deserve what you are going through. Your entire life you have served God and others. You deserve to die with dignity. You deserve to be free of pain.


Do not let our sadness burden you any longer. We will take care of each other. Your brothers in faith will carry us through. It hurts us to see you like this. Answer God’s call. It pains me to say these things, but I know you will be going to a better place and there you will be granted with all the things you deserve. I know you will be richly blessed and I know you will look after Jamie while you wait for us.


I just wanted you to know before you go that you have always been the most important man in my life. Rudi comes in at a close second, but you have always been number one. You have been an enormous positive influence in my life and I will always have a very special place in my heart for you. I will not forget you. I will miss you terribly. I will miss being able to pick up the phone to chat to you. I will miss being able to come to you for advice when I need it. I will miss your hugs and your sense of humour (dry as it is).


I will love you always, Oupa. Be at peace. Tell Jamie I love her. Say hello to Uncle Dickie and your mom and dad. You have much to look forward to. Your time with us is over now, but we’ll be okay. We have to be.


Love you forever


acidicice xoxox

Grandfather update

My grandfather is currently in hospital. He was admitted on Sunday night after he asked my grandmother to call their house priest to come and see him. They called him around 22:30 and decided to take him to the emergency room around 23:30.


He was very depressed again and wasn’t eating or drinking much since he came back from his last stint in hospital. Once he is on the drips and being given his medication he is so much better. He regains his strength and his appetite. He says he has now figured out why he isn’t coping at home and will manage it properly when he leaves the hospital. He has been taking his medication reactively instead of proactively, which is why he is having so many problems. Taking a tablet for nausea when you’re already nauseous is a pain in the butt. I told him AGES ago that he needs to take all his medication every day, whether or not he thinks he needs it (I was referring to his anti-depressants at the time). Maybe he needed to hear it from a doctor.


I went to visit him in hospital last night. His bed was like a train station. So many people came to visit him that the family decided to leave since the entire ward was filled with visitors for him.


Apparently his doctor is a palliative care doctor (advice I’ve passed on to him as well), so he doesn’t need to look for a new doctor. His doctor has said he will give him a schedule for his medication and he needs to take it as prescribed to try and manage his pain/nausea better when he is at home.


He was telling some of our church leaders that he is so looking forward to being in the beyond (on the “other side”), but he is concerned for the heartache and suffering his family will feel once he dies. They told him that he must not let the loss his family will feel hold him back, that they will take care of his family once he is gone and that he must not feel burdened by it. Such hard things to hear. At some point I started crying in the hospital…I’m very much in denial about him passing on at the moment. Someone asked me how I am feeling about everything and I realized they were asking me how I’m coping with the fact that he is going to die, possibly soon. The thought is too much for me right now, which is why I kind of tip toe around it. Not smart, but I don’t think there is a way to prepare yourself for the loss of a loved one.


I called him today, in between visiting hours. I thought it would be nice to keep him company for a while when there were no visitors. We had a good chat and we cleared the air about a few things that bothered the both of us. During my late teens/early twenties My Evil Mother had quite a hold on me financially. She used this as leverage to manipulate me. When she was robbing my grandparents of everything they had I tried to stay out of it as much as possible. I don’t know now if that was the right thing to do, I should have intervened on their behalf, but I sat on the fence. He wanted to know where I was then…I explained to him how My Evil Mother had used her hold on me, in fact, she tried to get me to side with her often. He told me that he thought I might have been happy that they were gone since it meant Rudi would be able to stay there again (my grandfather disapproved of us staying under the same roof as we weren’t married). He understands now that wasn’t the case.


*sigh* I don’t want him to be in pain, or suffer discomfort, but I don’t want him to die either. It’s so selfish, especially knowing that he is not afraid to die. I am going to be broken when he does. So very broken.

My Grandfather…

…is still dying. He is feeling horrible. He is in pain every day. He is weak, nauseous and tired all the time. He barely gets out of bed. Anyone who knows my grandfather will tell you he is a vibrant, active man. He is most definitely not himself. He is very depressed and cries a lot. He barely eats because of how he feels, which is obviously not helping matters. He has been to see his doctor and they have advised him all these symptoms are normal. All they can do is manage his pain. They could not tell him how long they think he has left. It’s anybody’s guess.


I was speaking to him last night and he was telling me how he was planning his funeral. As a priest he has planned many church services before, but this one is different, of course. He is planning which hymns he would like the choir to sing, which hymns he would like the congregation to sing. No wonder he is depressed. He has decided he doesn’t want a coffin at the funeral. He says he has conducted too many funeral services where he has to watch the family break down as the coffin drives away in the hearse. He doesn’t want that. Bless him. He is naive. He wants to spare us that, but does not realize that we will most likely break down anyway. I went to the funeral of my aunt’s mother in law last week. It was so sad to see the family suffer, to watch them grieve. I was sitting there thinking about how I would in their position soon. It was heart wrenching.


My grandmother has been trying to contact Hospice to find out if they can make use of their services. The twat at Hospice isn’t returning her calls. This is all very worrying. I can’t help but feel that time is running out for my grandfather, fast. We spoke about something at the end of August and he said “That is a bit late for me”. My cousin is coming from the UK in September for a visit, when I told him this he said “Oops” – implying that it would be too late.


It’s all so difficult to come to terms with. I find myself randomly bursting into tears at the thought of losing him. We’ve decided to go and see him as much as possible…also allowing him time with Babyice who brings him much joy. He got a model of a Tomcat aeroplane for his birthday which he intended to build for Babyice’s room. He is not up to doing it and has Rudi to come and build the model at his house so he can help him and watch the progress (also a ploy to get us to spend more time there).


I am going to break when the time comes. He has been a father to me. The only reliable, trustworthy and constant male role model in my life. I have wonderful childhood memories with him and I wish that Babyice could have the same thing. It looks like that is not on the cards though. This is going to be difficult. One of the most difficult things I will have to do. It’s right up there with losing our baby.


I’m going to miss him. I love him so much.


….and now I can’t talk about it anymore.

Catching up

Where to start? A few things to catch up on.


Babyice went to his day mother for the first time last week Thursday. I forced myself not to phone her. I knew that if he was crying at the time that I did I would want to rush over there and get him. When we did go pick him up just after 1pm, he was happily sitting on her lap after having had his vegetables. He barely noticed that I had walked in. Little shit. We stayed for coffee and pancakes to hear about his first day. It was like he didn’t even leave home. On the one hand I was relieved that he was so happy there, but I did feel slightly betrayed. It was like he hadn’t even missed me. When I picked him up on the Friday though, he looked happy to see me at least. I’m glad that I can feel so comfortable leaving him there.


On Saturday we invited the couple from antenatal class over for a braai. They bought Babyice the cutest little gift! It’s a plush giraffe (the neck and head of a giraffe) with a rattle built into it. Babyice immediately stuck it in his mouth. Seemed he liked it 🙂 As they arrived my phone rang. It was my grandmother. She was sobbing her heart out. My grandfather wasn’t feeling well and he was talking about dying. Feeling like he was dying. She put my grandfather on the phone. He was also crying. My poor heart! We had just received guests and my grandfather wanted me to come there immediately. He ‘needed’ me there. I told him to calm down and that our guests would be there till the evening, but that I would make a turn there afterwards. We enjoyed our braai with our friends, we played a game of 30 seconds which was lots of fun. Predictably, my team won. I think we’ll swap partners next time to make it more interesting. We did pick partners fairly though, by throwing the dice to decide. Our guests left before seven. I wanted to get to my grandfather as quickly as possible, but it was time for Babyice’s porridge, bath and bottle. Rudi assured me he could cope and I was on my way.


My grandfather was feeling better when I arrived. He’d taken his anti depressant medication and tablets to calm him. Medication he seems to take only when he thinks he needs it. He is eating very poorly as well. For quite some time now. He woke up feeling very weak and tired. He has no appetite and he has pain in his abdomen. He isn’t sure what the pain is, but he assumes it is the cancer. When he is feeling this way, which is quite often lately, he gets extremely depressed. My grandmother tries to get him to eat. She’s a comfort eater. Eating makes her feel better and she feeds people when they are not well. The fact that my grandfather doesn’t want to eat makes her feel helpless.


I can really relate to how my grandfather is feeling. When I was pregnant with Jamie I was sick every single day for four straight months. I felt so terrible that thoughts of suicide crossed my mind. I know it sounds terrible, but you really cannot judge until you’ve been there yourself. I have the greatest empathy for my grandfather because I know exactly how he must feel. He sees no end in sight. No end to the pain, the nausea, the weakness and fatigue. Of course, when he gets this way and my grandmother can’t ‘fix’ him, she is struck by his mortality and becomes inconsolable herself. I went over there and spoke to them. I insisted that he takes his anti depressants every day. I also tried to encourage him to eat more. I know how difficult it is to eat when you feel like crap, but he can’t expect to have energy if he doesn’t eat. I calculated his BMI and he isn’t underweight (this mostly to comfort my grandmother). I lay in his arms for a while and shed a few tears myself. It’s horrible to see them like this and he isn’t even at the worst stage. I’m afraid he will suffer. I keep telling my grandmother to contact Hospice and find out what services they can offer for them. My grandfather really wants to die at home. He said if he slips into a coma or something he is happy to go to hospital, but barring that he wants to be at home. My grandmother can’t care for him by herself should he become completely immobile. It’s going to be so hard. He is going for another check up today to see what exactly the cancer is doing. He probably won’t go for his scan today, but he is starting the process.


On Sunday Babyice was very miserable. He ate, drank and slept, but when he was awake he wasn’t himself. We put him to bed after his regular routine and so the trouble began. He went to bed around 7pm and started waking up at 10:30pm. I kept putting him back to sleep and noticed he felt quite hot. Around midnight I took his temperature which was 38.3 degrees. I gave him some Panado syrup and put him back down. He woke up a half an hour later. I took his temperature again and it had come down to 37.5 degrees which was a big relief. He still felt very warm so I removed his sleeping bag, covered him in a light blanket and put him back to sleep. He woke up again a few minutes later, so I decided to take him to bed with me. He was quite restless and woke up a few times there too. We gave him two feeds during the night in case he was thirsty and to soothe him, so he definitely wasn’t hungry. Monday morning his temperature had dropped to 37 degrees. He only had a runny nose (clear liquid) and I felt okay sending him to his day mother. I sent along some Panado and Salex for him in case, but she said he didn’t need it during the day. He was a little cranky with her the morning, but he ate and managed to sleep. When I brought him home he still felt hot to me, but his temperature was below 37.7 degrees, so I didn’t give him any meds. He was also smiling a bit so I didn’t worry too much. Perhaps I was a little paranoid because of the fever the previous night. He slept some more after he came home. Last night we bathed him in lukewarm water, dressed him in a babygro and vest and put him in his summer sleeping bag. He slept very well. He woke up about 3 times in need of his dummy and only woke up for a feed at 5am this morning. He felt cool to the touch and his temperature was below 37 degrees. He seems to be feeling better and I’m glad it was over so quickly. He is probably starting to teethe. Fun.


There is some good news in this post! Last week I used my eBucks to order some things for Babyice. I ordered him the Baby Sense winter and summer sleeping bags. I love baby sleeping bags. He can’t kick them off and he seems to sleep really well in them. What’s awesome about the Baby Sense sleeping bags is that they have a hole for the car seat buckle to go through so that you don’t have to remove the baby from the sleeping bag to take him out. The other sleeping bag that I have is like a quilted sleeping bag and doesn’t have this hole. You can view the winter sleeping bag on their site here. I don’t see a picture for the summer one on the site, but it has a polka dot print. I was really glad to have the summer one last night. Perfect for a baby that is too warm, even in winter! I ordered them both in the ‘stone’ colour. Can always use them again for the second baba 😉 I also ordered him an educational toy from Tolo toys. You can see the ball here.


Other than that my maternity leave is running out faster than the sands in the hourglass of 30 seconds. Soon my life will consist mostly of work. It makes me sad. I will have precious little time with my son. I wish I could afford to take a half day job somewhere so that I could spend more time with him, but I guess this is the fate of most mothers. At least I will appreciate every second I do get to spend with him!

Bad news

So my grandfather got the results from his tests. The cancer has not spread to his stomach, but he is going to die anyway. The doctors say there is nothing more they can do for him. Surgery is not an option. They can’t tell him how much time he has left. Maybe 3 months, maybe 6…perhaps even 12. Difficult to say. Chemo will only take away his quality of life. He doesn’t want to do it anymore and according to the doctors it won’t help anyway. So now we wait. We wait and watch him die. I cried a bit, but when I spoke to him I was calm. Talking about whether his affairs are in order and whether my grandmother will be taken care of…and if he has made sure My Evil Mother won’t get her grubby paws on any of his money since she has long since squandered her inheritance AND their livelihood. Grrrrr. Moving on…


Babyice is doing well, despite the fact that he was unable to get two of his immunizations due to a nationwide shortage both in the government and private sectors. He has had the first installment of these injections, so they say he won’t get sick as badly as he would of should he have had nothing. Terrible planning. These injections were only private until recently and now that they’ve put them on the government schedule, making them available to everybody, they have run out. I’m really happy that they’ve made it available to every mom, but they should have made provision for the demand. Now there are literally thousands of babies that will be going without because they didn’t foresee the how many people might want/need the injections. The Rotarix drops he is supposed to get protects againts the Rotavirus. Apparently it takes 8 months to produce it and he needs it before he is six months old, so basically, he won’t get it. I can just hope and pray that he also doesn’t get the virus.


I’ve sorted out his day mother for end of July. She is happy to take him and currently has 9 children with her, the youngest is 9 months, but the rest are all older. I’ll be able to leave a sterilizer and some bottles with her which will help not carting stuff back and forth. She is quite reasonable and since she looked after me when I was little I trust her and the environment he will be in.


We went to visit the other parents from our antenatal class again last Saturday. We were there SO late! My intention was to leave early so that they could bath their baby and get her to sleep peacefully the evening. It didn’t work out that way. The guys went out to play some darts/pool and only got back around 6PM. After that they started the fire, but we only ended up eating around 10:30PM! We had such a good time. We really enjoy their company and they are very accomodating and generous people. They got a bath ready and everything for Babyice, but he had just eaten and tends to vomit if you bath him straight after a feed. They let him sleep in their daughter’s cot and moved her back into their room for the night. It’s so comfortable there and we have such a lot in common right now. Since their baby is a little bit older than Babyice, C has lots of tips for me on what comes next. We discussed going onto solids which their baby will be doing very soon. It’s all so exciting! After Babyice has gone for his check up at the pediatrician I’ll be taking him to the clinic they go to for a feeding consultation. Their clinic exclusively deals with babies and they sound so much better than the one we go to. Before we left they also gifted us a TON of baby wipes they can’t use. They prefer a different brand and their daughter has a reaction to the brand they bought while pregnant. I won’t have to buy wipes for the rest of the year at least! We’re so grateful!


Not much else to report at the moment. We’re so busy right now…every weekend is booked. Literally till mid June we are busy every weekend and it just keeps filling up. I swear I’ll be exhuasted by the time I go back to work! It’s okay though. If Rudi and I have plans together he is less likely to escape on a Saturday afternoon to go out leaving me alone.


This morning when the domestic came in she decided to try and put Babyice on her back. We manouvered my sling (completely wrong, I’m 100% sure) and put him on there. He was SO happy on content! He later fell sleep there after sucking his fist and checking stuff out for quite some time. I’ve never heard him quiet for so long. I need to learn how to do this. Apparently the kango pouches are only up to 9kg and he is already almost 7…so I don’t think it will be worth it buying one now 🙁





P.S. She just walked in here again…she’s put him on her back (on her own) and is merrily cleaning the house. Dammit. I wish I could afford to employ her full time to look after him 🙁

Random updates

So…Rudi has gone back to work. His boss has put a tracker in the vehicle he drives and he has to fill in a log book with times and ask clients to sign the book when he is there. So his boss is keeping a close eye on him, but that is okey since he wasn’t doing anything wrong. The log book might even work in his favour since his boss has never paid him overtime and now he will have proof when he works late.


Winter has arrived in Cape Town and it is rainy and chilly. It is so very nice to be able to stay in bed when the weather is like this. Going back to work is giong to suck donkey balls. Seriously. Speaking of which, I need to start looking for a place for Babyice to stay when I go back to work. I really don’t want to. The thought of leaving him with someone else for the WHOLE day breaks my heart. I don’t want to! I know I have to though. I have no choice. It really sucks. I know a lot of moms prefer to work, it makes them appreciate time with their children and they get cabin fever when staying at home, but I really love doing it. All this is very easy to say if you’re staying at home and still getting paid your salary. I doubt it will be the same if I wasn’t. So…it will be off to work I go at the end of July.


My very last weekend on maternity leave Rudi and I will be flying up to Johannesburg to attend Angel and Glugster’s wedding. I am SO looking forward to sharing their special day with them, but I dare not count it down since I would be counting down my maternity leave at the same time.


We took this photo of Babyice nomming his turtle the other night:


Nommy turtle

Nom nom




Babyice is also starting to show signs of wanting to roll over and managing to put everything he grabs into his mouth. Oi vey! He is going to need a leash soon! A short one!


I’ve had the sniffles for a week or so, but feel like I’m getting much better now. The sore throat is gone and I just still have a runny nose which gets stuffy at night. It’s so hard not to give Babyice kisses! Sunday is my first Mothers Day since Babyice was born. I’ve been throwing hints like mad to get spoilt, but I’m not sure if they are being heard. Guess we’ll have to wait and see.


Remember I said we were having a problem with our Schnookums bottle warmer? Yesterday Baby Boom phoned me and told me they would replace it for the brand I wantd (Pigeon). I was over the moon! I didn’t have a box or slip and had bought it ages ago. I couldn’t wait for Rudi to get home so I could exchange it. When I went there the lady that phoned me was ready to help me, but the other lady at the till was asking for the box and slip. She seemed sceptical about the exchange, but the lady that phoned me told her that the rep for Schnookums said to just exchange it. He didn’t request a box or a slip and hadn’t even looked at it. Looks like he knew all too well that it was a dud. I used my Pigeon bottle warmer last night and it works like a dream! I can put a ready made bottle in there and just pick it up when he is ready to feed. So now I can pre-make bottles and keep them in the fridge. Each time he feeds I just take one from the fridge and pop it into the bottle warmer for the next feed. The bottle warmer keeps the bottle at a constant temperature so it is always ready. WIN. I would definitely recommend this one!


The lady from antenatal class got back to me. She is willing to GIVE us her bottles. For FREE. Sheesh. Majore score! Those bottles aren’t cheap! Woot! So I was super excited yesterday about all the new baby things. So much so I couldn’t sleep when Babyice took his nap.


I also got some bad news yesterday. My grandfather’s cancer might have spread to his stomach. FUCK. He is going into hospital on Monday for them to put a camera in his stomach and to do some biopsies. I really hope they are wrong. I so want Babyice to get to know him. He is such a wonderful man and it would be a great loss for all of us if you lose him too soon 🙁

I hit my internet cap

Wah. Yeah. I realized (too late) that *something* on my new laptop was downloading TONS of data while I wasn’t looking, sending my bill to over R1000.00! Luckily I have a friend that is in the IT industry and he helped me find out what it was. We switched it off. Now that my data bundle has reset I have some freedom again! Yay! No more internetlessness!


I hate having long spans of time between blog posts, I forget most of what happened and end up blogging only recent events. Let me start there and then see if I can work my way back some.


Yesterday we had our antenatal class reunion. It was so nice to see how everyone’s babies turned out! They are all so much of cuteness! Before we left the one couple said we should all get together for pizza sometime, they know of a baby friendly place not too far away to go to. We exchanged numbers again and hopefully we will get to see them again and get to see how their babies develop along with Babyice. We get along quite well with the one couple. They have a whole lot of Avent bottles that their baby doesn’t want to use, so I’ve offered to buy them. Still waiting to hear from them about how much they want. They have ELEVEN bottles they can’t use, such a waste. Out of the 3 of us, everyone wanted a natural birth and everyone wanted to breastfeed. In the end I was the only one that had a natural, uncomplicated birth and the only one that isn’t still breastfeeding. At least I got something right!


Cazpi took some more photos of Babyice, you can see them here. They really are lovely, thank you Caz. He is growing up so nicely. I’ve gotten the sniffles and a sore throat. I was so scared I was going to pass it on to him, but he seems fine and I think I might be past the contagious bit. Thank goodness! I would have felt terrible if I made him sick, although it is inevitable that it will happen someday. He is developing nicely, learning new stuff all the time. He has now managed to successfully grab things…everything he manages to grab goes directly in his mouth. It’s so cute! He has so much fun doing it. It is fascinating to watch! We’re having a little problem with him. He has learned to escape from the blankets we swaddle him in. Immediately his hands go up into his face and he wakes himself up. Twitter suggested that we get a baby sleeping bag for him. We couldn’t find one ANYWHERE, but after mentioning it on Facebook, Sarah’s cousin offered me one of hers since she isn’t using it (it’s blue and she has a girl). She gave it to me yesterday. What I didn’t realize is that the baby sleeping bags have holes for their arms to get out, so it doesn’t solve our problem, although it till be nice to snuggle him in in winter. So we’ve gone back to swaddling and if he breaks free, there’s nothing for it. We’ve got a bigger blanket to swaddle him in, but it’s quite thick so we’ll wait till it is cooler before we use it.


We’ve taken our bottle warmer (which I bought when I was like 3 weeks pregnant) to Baby Boom. They offered to let a Schnookums rep to have a look at it. It takes 14 minutes to heat up and then the bottle is SO hot that you need to cool it down again. If you leave it till the last minute the baby is FRANTIC by the time his bottle is ready. Nellie has a Pigeon bottle warmer and doesn’t have these kinds of problems. Hopefully they can fix it or if it isn’t working properly, replace it. If it IS the way it works, I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. The staff at Baby Boom in Cape Gate are always helpful and friendly though. It’s so nice of them to offer their help even though I didn’t buy it there.


Other than that my grandfather was asked to have another scan done. The markers in his blood have suddenly indicated that the cancer has spread. He is still waiting for the results. They always leave him hanging for WEEKS for possibly devastating results. It really irritates the shit out of me. I suppose doctors who deal with this every day don’t really care much…while the patient sits at home worrying themselves sick(er) about their condition. *sigh*


I took Babyice into work the other day to show him to everyone (for the first time). I’m so glad I won’t be going back there in a hurry. My manager took Babyice out of his pram since he’d spit up a little and help him, wearing his nice suit. I tried to put a burp cloth on his shoulder, but he waved me away. Someone said “You can see he is a daddy”. Wah. So cute!


Oops! Feeding time! More blogs to follow!

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