A question I get asked very often is how Babyice is adapting to having a sibling. I was quite worried about this while I was pregnant, especially since I planned to breastfeed and I knew this meant that I would be somewhat indisposed a lot of the time in the first few weeks.
Babyice really surprised me! He loves his sister very much. He tells everyone about her. When he ran into my grandmother at the hospital after she was born, he ran up to her saying “Ouma GG my sister is out!”. Whenever he sees her he wants to kiss her or stroke her head. He insists on kissing her goodnight. If she is out of sight he asks where she is. He often says “Awww my sister is so cute”. He also tells everyone that his sister drinks milk from mommy’s boobs. In fact, when I asked him where milk came from the other day he replied “Mommy’s boobs”. I thought that was hilarious!
Babyice has always been his father’s child. They do everything together (even go to the traffic department! Rudi is a brave soul) and daddy is always the one that gives in. I think that has helped a lot with the transition. His dad is always available and he doesn’t seem jealous when Rudi holds the baby while I get something done.
We did have an incident where Babyice hid in my clothes cupboard and thought it was a good idea to pee on my shoes. Yes. It’s funny when it’s not *your* shoes. Maybe a bit our own fault for letting him run around without any pants or underwear. I was told that “potty accidents” with usually fully potty trained children are common when a new sibling arrives. He has also started biting his nails. I’m not sure if it is related, but it’s not impossible.
We have recently taken him off the night nappy and he has accidents quite often. We’re restricting liquids after 18:30 and he goes to pee just before bed. We just don’t take him in the middle of the night. We’re supposed to, right? We kind of sleep through if he does. What do you do? Set an alarm?
Anyway, he is a great big brother. I am so very proud of him. He really surprised us and I couldn’t be happier that we’ve given him the opportunity. He is a very loving and compassionate child, this will definitely stand him in good stead in his new role. Yay for Babyice!
If you follow my blog you’ll know that I only breastfed Babyice for 3 weeks before quitting. I had an awful time of it. I wasn’t even sure I would try again with PrincessIce. After tweeting about it I was referred to Kim, a La Leche League (LLL) leader, and she encouraged me to attend a meeting while I was pregnant. I understood that having a support system was important and decided to start building one in the form of LLL before PrincessIce was born.
I attended two meetings while I was pregnant and purchased a copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding on Kim’s recommendation. I was still very nervous about doing it all again, but found myself learning so much through other mothers and the book. I was really clueless before. Sometimes while reading the book I found myself getting excited at the prospect of being able to feed my baby and bond with her in this way.
There were certain things I wanted to happen when PrincessIce was born. I wanted them to put her on my chest skin to skin and I wanted her to drink as soon as she was born. This never happened with Babyice at all. I really wanted it to be different and to get breastfeeding off to a strong start. I never voiced these desires to my gynae or the nurses at the hospital. Minutes after PrincessIce was born the nurse put her on my chest (incidentally the same nurse that helped deliver Babyice). They took her back to wipe her off a bit and the nurse spotted the lady who helps new mothers breastfeed in hospital walk past my room. She called her over saying “We have a new baby here” and she came to help me latch PrincessIce for the first time. So even though I never told anyone what I wanted, everything happened as I wanted it to. I was so happy I could cry.
I continued to breastfeed in hospital. We really struggled at first. I could barely fit my nipple into PrincessIce’s tiny mouth. My nipples became sore and a guy (!) on Twitter recommended I request physio for my nipples. I never knew such a thing existed! I asked for the physio to come around and they did. She treated my nipples with a laser and ultrasound. It really helped! The breastfeeding helper, again the same woman I encountered when having Babyice, was so much more attentive this time. She took her time helping me and answering my questions. She came to see me every time she came to the hospital. It was surreal. The polar opposite to my previous experience.
I was quite overwhelmed by the oxytocin released while feeding and at one point I was afraid I would fall asleep and suffocate PrincessIce. I asked the nurses to take her away for a while so that I could sleep. One nurse told me not to put her on the breast repeatedly as my nipples would get sore. On another occasion the same nurse told me not to feed for longer than 20 minutes per breast for the same reason. Such misinformation! Luckily I knew to just nod and smile as my newly gained knowledge empowered me. I felt sorry for the new mothers who would blindly follow this advice. Would they succeed? Although these tid bits wouldn’t lead to failure themselves, what else were new mothers being told that just wasn’t true?
I fed PrincessIce as often as I could and when we finally came home I focused on feeding her. It was my only priority. When we were booked back into hospital to treat her jaundice the pediatrician questioned my milk supply. What he based this assumption on I don’t know. He had suggested temporary formula to help clear the jaundice and I told him only as a last resort. He offered me meds to increase my supply and I said I would prefer to go that route over substituting breastfeeding with formula. I was in constant contact with Kim and she found resources and articles for me to read, again preparing me with an arsenal of information and equipping me with questions to ask the paed instead of just accepting everything he said as gospel. I now knew that babies rid themselves of jaundice by means of dirty nappies. I could then make the argument that frequent breastfeeding which is a natural laxative would aid this process in a way formula might not. The paed didn’t argue. You can’t very well argue with logic. PrincessIce gained 70 grams in the two days we were in hospital. He didn’t question my milk supply again and said if I ever felt I needed the meds I could call him. The meds had now become optional instead of being deemed necessary. I felt so very proud of myself for standing up for what I believe in and so grateful to Kim for giving me the means and confidence to do so!
After being back at home my nipples were still very sore and should of gotten better. I wanted someone to inspect our latch and check for thrush. A friend who has a 3 month old was taking her baby to the breastfeeding clinic in Panorama and I asked if I could tag along. We set off on a Tuesday morning and I saw an International Board Certified Lactation Consultant (IBCLC) there. People with this qualification are the only true lactation consultants. She seemed sceptical about Princessice’s weight gain as she was not yet back to her discharge weight, but said that it could of been affected by the jaundice and that the scales may differ. She asked me to come back on the Friday to weigh her again. She gave me breastfeeding tips and information. Almost all of which I already knew from LLL and reading the book. I know the theory back to front, but in practice it is something else altogether. It turns out having bigger/heavier breasts makes things more challenging in the beginning. Just my luck! I mentioned to them that PrincessIce thinks she is too much of a lady to poo more than is absolutely necessary and that she only has a dirty nappy once every 7 – 10 days. They said this is completely normal for a breastfed baby (even if younger than 6 weeks). A breastfed baby can poo 14 times in a day or once every 14 days.
For the rest of the day I was in tears. Proper crying too. I was feeding and crying. Almost hysterical. I felt the exact same way that day as I did on the day I quit breastfeeding Babyice. I felt terrible. I reached out to Kim and I tweeted about it. People came out in full force supporting me and encouraging me to persevere. Rudi came home to me in an emotional mess and even said “Just put her on formula” which didn’t really help. It just upset me more. I asked him to go with me to he clinic the next day before we make that decision and he agreed.
The next morning we went back. I took my own pillows with me determined to get help. The feeding position I was shown the previous day just wasn’t working for us (another reason for the tears). PrincessIce was weighed again. She had gained 30 grams overnight! The IBCLC was very happy about that. She said that she had doubts about her weight gain the previous day, but 30 grams in a day was excellent. She took us into a separate room and addressed my concerns about positioning. She helped me find other positions to try. The day before I had assumed that our latch was bad because my nipples were still sore and we were told to work on latch and positioning. She was surprised I thought the latch was bad. She said it really wasn’t. I cried. She showed compassion and said we were doing a good job and trying our best and to continue doing so. She asked us to come back a week later to weigh again. She wanted to see whether PrincessIce was back up to her birth weight. I was nervous about the next weigh in as I had been diagnosed with bronchitis the day after her last weigh. I was put on a heavy dose of antibiotics (875 mg!) and I wasn’t sure how that would affect us. A week later I returned. It was a great effort for me to go back. I had to cart Rudi to work and fetch him, all the while feeding in between, whenever and wherever I could. PrincessIce weighed in 45 grams short of her birth weight, 120 grams heavier than the previous week. I was disheartened as I had expected her to be at least back up to her birth weight, but the nurses said that 120 grams was a good gain. They weighed her before and after I fed her to see how much she drank and were happy with that as well. The nurse said she only had to be weighed again when she goes for her 6 week immunizations, indicating to me that they were no longer concerned.
It occurred to me later that this was EXACTLY the same thing that happened with Babyice. We went to the clinic, the nurse said he wasn’t gaining enough weight and I lost it. When recently comparing the two situations I realized that I gave up the first time because I was concerned that I was not providing my baby with enough nutrition, that I was failing at providing one of he most basic needs. It had nothing to do with my own discomfort or lack of motivation. Babyice was already being “topped up” with formula though and it was in the house which made it just that much “easier” to stop breastfeeding. I cried for days afterwards. Although I still regret not persevering with Babyice, I have finally forgiven myself. Having success with PrincessIce has shown me that it was possible all along with the right support and knowledge.
PrincessIce is more than a month old and we are still happily feeding today, but as mothers do, I am worried about the next weigh in that will be happening next week when she goes for her shots. I am sure everything will be fine as her nappy output indicates things are going well and she is generally content and happy. Fingers crossed! Even though I’ve done the whole parenting thing before, with breastfeeding in the mix this is a whole new experience with a whole new set of rules.
I am still in frequent contact with Kim. Her passion for breastfeeding is almost contagious! I’ll be going to my first LLL meeting since PrincessIce was born on Saturday and I’m really looking forward to it.
Thank you to everyone that has been so caring and supportive in our breastfeeding journey. We appreciate it from the bottom of our hearts!
PrincessIce was born on Wednesday 2 January 2013. As I had a natural delivery we were due to be discharged on the Friday. My gynae came to do rounds and said we can head home as soon as the pediatrician gives us the green light. A couple of hours later the nurse came around to tell me that they noticed that PrincessIce’s bili levels are high, indicating she has jaundice and the paed had requested a blood test for an accurate reading. I asked when we could go home and they said we would have to wait for the results. They put her into an incubator under UV lights in the interim to try and help for the jaundice. Luckily I remembered from our antenatal classes when I was pregnant with Babyice that jaundice is extremely common in newborns and isn’t serious. I didn’t panic. I shed a small tear, but was fine after that. The first test results showed she was borderline for receiving treatment, so they would keep her under the lights and test again later in the evening. At this point they indicated there was a possibility she may not be permitted to go home with me. I was distraught. I was breastfeeding and also most certainly did not want to leave the hospital without my little girl who I was falling in love with. I was left uniformed and uncertain all day. At 18:00 they drew blood again and we had to wait 2 hours for the results. I knew the medical aid would not cover my stay if I needed to stay with her and because she was not in the pediatric ward I could not stay with her unless I extended my stay in the ward. In other words, I would have to carry the cost. Bear in mind I was in a semi-private room as the general wards were full. Eventually after 20:00 I ran out of patience and went for a shower to pass the time while we waited to hear. After my shower Rudi told me we could all go home! I was elated. We were instructed to bring PrincessIce back to the hospital for blood tests the next morning. Finally around 22:00 we went home.
The first night at home was blissful in comparison to Babyice’s first night. My babymoon was in full swing. The next morning we headed back to the hospital and had blood taken. She barely cried. Themba at Pathcare in Louis Leipoldt Mediclinic was amazing
after Rudi had threatened to find out where he lives. We had barely arrived home when the phone rang and we were told to bring her back on Sunday for another test. The standby paed uses different pathologists and they really churn out the results fast. We headed back on Sunday and I received a call from the pediatrician to say her levels were rising and that we should administer 30 – 40 ml of sugar water (1tsp sugar to 100 ml of water) 3 times a day and retest the next day. I asked him if I should sit with her in the sunlight and he stated that he doesn’t really think that helps. I was quite confused by this. It is common knowledge that sunlight helps to clear up jaundice. They put the babies under UV lights for crying out loud! We followed his advice, even though I was hesitant to give her anything but breastmilk. I noticed that she had a lot more wet nappies once we started with the sugar water and the next morning her fontanel was sunken, indicating that she was dehydrated. This concerned me, but I was happy to see it pop right out again after just one feed.
We went to the hospital in the afternoon as the home affairs representative is there on Monday afternoons to assist with registrations and went for the blood test after. They were taking forever to draw her blood and I could hear her crying. After a while I could not stand it any longer and I went into the room to comfort her. The nurses scattered when I came in and Rudi told me they couldn’t find a vein. They resorted to
tracking down Themba who had worked the weekend and successfully taken her blood on Saturday and Sunday with little fuss. Thankfully they found him and he swooped in and he found the vein first time, despite the immense pressure.
We headed over to Milla and Dennis for dinner. We planned to make pizza. The doctor was taking forever to call back. I hoped that meant that everything was fine. Eventually my phone rang. Not good news. The paed wanted to admit PrincessIce again for phototherapy. I requested to be admitted to a hospital closer to home where our own paed is based. He agreed and made the call. I had a small cry. I was upset that she hadn’t improved and nobody wants to hear that their child has to be admitted into hospital. I received a call from our paed’s partner who I am familiar with as he was on standby. We discussed how she was doing and he was horrified to hear the other paed had told is to give PrincessIce sugar water. He said they preferred a temporary switch to formula. I told him I only wanted to do that as a last resort. He advised he would notify the ward that we were on our way. We were already on our way home for me to pack a bag. I knew I would have to stay with PrincessIce and would need a few things. I had done this before with Babyice when he was 7 months old.
Booking in at hospital was a bit difficult. PrincessIce was only 5 days old and I had not yet had a chance to register her on the medical aid. The admissions guy took everything in his stride and soon we were on our way to the ward. It was already almost 22:00. They let me feed her and put her under the lights. Milla came around to bring me some pizza as we had rushed off before it was made. Milla and Dennis looked after Babyice while all this was happening. Bless them.
We stayed in hospital till the Wednesday. They did regular blood tests and once they found her bili levels to be on the downward trend they approved our release. There was another incident with nurses that couldn’t find a vein. Luckily they took PrincessIce very far away from me. I went to investigate at one point as they were taking very long, but turned away when I heard her screaming as tears welled up in my eyes. When I stayed at the hospital before they provided a chair that folds out for a parent to sleep on. It was basically a wooden crate. I was not looking forward to that. I was happy to discover that they now provide a mattress to go on top of the crates. It wasn’t a particularly thick mattress, but it was MUCH more comfortable! The hospital also provides subsidised food vouchers for parents. I paid R16 per meal and chose my meals as if I was a patient. We had our own room in the hospital. One of those glass isolation rooms. I had the curtains drawn around the room most of the time so I could breastfeed in private. Rudi came to relieve me while I rushed home to take a shower. There is a shower over a bath available in the ward, but we live really close to the hospital and showering at home is always nicer.
I was really happy to be able to work with our own paed (or at least his partner who I know). I have never liked the paeds at Louis Leipoldt. Even the paed that was assigned to Babyice when he was born rubbed me up the wrong way. We had seen our paed’s partner (Dr. Bruwer) with Babyice, but after accidentally working with our paed (Dr. Christie) as he was on standby when Babyice was admitted to hospital, we decided to switch. Dr. Christie is a gentle kind hearted man who has his own children. He is very sweet. Dr. Bruwer lacks a certain kind of bedside manner which I like to have in a doctor. I was disappointed to catch him on standby when PrincessIce was admitted, but had a good experience with him this time. I realized that he wasn’t so bad afterall. Maybe as a first time parent to Babyice I required some TLC that he didn’t provide. We will still take PrincessIce to Dr. Christie for her 6 week check up though.
Since we’ve been home PrincessIce has lost a lot of the yellow colouring and is doing well. She left hospital with an eye infection. According to the paed this is common in babies who come into the world via natural delivery and not in a sterile theater. He prescribed drops for her eyes, but the pharmacist tipped me off about using breastmilk in her eyes and after a few days of using the drops with seemingly little success, using breastmilk cleared them up nicely. I was pleasantly surprised and annoyed at having spent over R100 on drops we didn’t need. Somehow I managed to stay quite calm through all of the post birth drama and it didn’t ruin my babymoon at all
Just before Christmas we were visiting with Milla and Dennis when I started feeling contractions. They felt different to Braxton Hicks, but I had no back ache. That night between 01:00 and 03:30 I was having contractions about every 5 minutes…then suddenly nothing. Everything stopped. Christmas came and went uneventfully.
We spent New Year’s Eve with Milla and them again; everyone waiting with baited breath to see if PrincessIce would make an appearance. She stay firmly put. On News Year’s Day I was in a lot of pain. My pelvis hurt so badly I could only limp around. Sitting down/getting up/turning around were all excrutiating. We spent the day at the in laws. I spent a little time in the pool hoping for some relief, no such luck. I spent the rest of the day on the bed in front of the fan, occasionally in tears because I couldn’t move without hurting myself. I moaned on Twitter and even said I would ask the gynae to take her out at my appointment the next day since I could not handle it anymore.
Our gynae appointment was scheduled for 8 am, but when we arrived the receptionist was surprised to see us. The gynae was in theater. When I had seen his partner in December they had forgotten to write my appointment down in the book. I showed my appointment card with my booking and we were asked to be patient. We waited a little under an hour which is pretty standard anyway. Before we even started he told me he is not available over the weekend as he had some personal business to attend to. I advised him about my discomfort and we joked about the epidural as we usually do. I mentioned that I wouldn’t mind if he took her out. He did a scan and estimated her weight at around 3.3/3.5 kg. He said he would like to do an internal examination, which was pretty damn uncomfortable. Why do they tell you to relax when they are sticking fingers all the way up to your cervix?!? Because they don’t know what that feels like…is why! He then dropped a bombshell…I was already. 1.5 cm dilated!
He sat us down and asked whether we would like to meet our daughter that day. Even though it was something I actually did want, I was faced with mixed emotions. Babyice was born at 38 weeks and 5 days. I was 38 weeks 5 days pregnant. Babyice was born on the 2nd of February, it was the 2nd of January. I asked how we would proceed and the gynae said we would induce and PrincessIce should arrive by about 17:30. I have terrible memories of the pain of induced birth from when Jamie was born, but I decided we should take the plunge!
The gynae phoned the labour ward to warn them I was coming and that they must make sure they call him to administer my epidural in time. Heh. I was sent straight to the ward and prepped. We called Leebeesa to come and fetch Babyice as we had arranged that she would look after him while his sister was born. Rudi started notifying family and friends while I notified people via Twitter and Facebook.
The gynae induced around 10:00 and said he would be back by 11:45 to administer the epidural. Contractions started and were manageable. We were told to walk around in the ward a bit. Just like in the movies! We never did that with Babyice. The contractions started getting stronger and I wished I had a birthing ball. 11:45 came and went. I became increasingly cranky and repeatedly asked them to check where the gynae was. He was dropping the ball! I had not had breakfast as the appointment was really early, I only drank some Energade to fight off the hunger. When the contractions and pain became too much for me to handle I brought it all up. Rudi was sweet enough to tie up my hair for me and wipe my mouth. I didn’t actually want my mouth wiped, but he was just trying to help. Eventually at almost 13:00 the gynae waltzed in there and they got me ready. Rudi held my hand while the epidural was done. It hurt a lot less than I remember and before long I could feel that warm feeling washing over my legs. He also injected what he referred to as a cocktail which must of had some happy drugs in it. If asked to describe how I felt, the word ‘lovely’ comes to mind. I was 3 cm dilated when the epidural was administered. The only side effect I experienced from the epidural was some itching and just before birth I was extremely cold, teeth chattering cold. My waters were broken and I sent Rudi off to go get food ask he had also not eaten all day.
Rudi had not even been gone for an hour and a half when they came to check me again. I was dilated 7 cm! The gynae “topped up” my epidural to ensure I didn’t suddenly experience pain at the most painful time possible. With Babyice it took me quite a few hours to dilate. I was sure that the epidural would slow down the dilation. The nurse started to prepare for the birth. I could feel PrincessIce’s head moving down into the birth canal. Those last 3 cm happened really fast! Before you could say push, I was told to push! It was really difficult for me to push since the new epidural meds were still pretty fresh and I couldn’t feel whether or not I was pushing. I couldn’t even feel the immense pressure of her exiting as I did with Babyice. The gynae, nurse and Rudi all guided me and cheered me on as I did the best I could. In a few minutes I heard her cry for the first time. I couldn’t see her, but the look on Rudi’s face was priceless. The first thing he said was ‘And she has your nose’.
Rudi cut the umbilical chord and she was immediately placed on my chest. She was still covered in gunk . She is just perfect. PrincessIce weighed a wopping 3.795 kg at birth! (Babyice had weighed 3.555 kg) A minute or two later the nurse spotted the breastfeeding consultant walking past and beckoned her. She helped me to latch PrincessIce and we got breastfeeding off to a start minutes after birth, just as I had wanted.
Again I was blessed with a perfect birth. I only received one stitch this time and it doesn’t need any intervention or treatment.
Thank you for all the messages of love, support, concern and congratulations received. We were overwhelmed.
At the hospital where she was born dads get to mount a pink or blue flag on the hospital’s roof to represent the birth of their child. Babyice went with:
PrincessIce was the only girl born at the hospital that day.
This past week has been exhausting. Work has been super busy and chaotic. I am SO looking forward to going on maternity leave! I’m working next week from Monday to Sunday and then I’m done! My porridge brains are starting to make it really difficult for me to function properly at work. Yes, they’ve been there all along, but they are getting really bad. I’m making stupid mistakes. I really shouldn’t be trusted to serve customers anymore!
Milla and I got a lot done in the house on Monday and Tuesday. All the clothes have been sorted, but now need to be washed and packed away neatly. I still need to sort through all the toys and the kitchen and then I will consider things done. We’re getting a TV stand to put up our TV in our room this afternoon and once that is up we can set up the cot. We still need to get a new mattress for the cot as you can’t use old cot mattresses. Apparently a type of bacteria breeds in mattresses that can contribute to SIDS. I’m not taking that chance for R 250.00! I haven’t started packing my hospital bag yet either. Considering that the gynae said we shouldn’t expect anything to happen before next year I’m okay with that. Tomorrow is the housekeeper’s last day before she goes on holiday for a month. I’ve asked Milla to pass along the details of her housekeeper for December/January while ours is on leave. We simply cannot cope without one. Or at least, Rudi can’t cope without one. I am utterly useless in the housework department at the moment.
I’ve received some “baby shower” gifts from people at work. My baby shower was supposed to take place last weekend, but was cancelled about 40 minutes before it was supposed to happen and postponed to this week. Most of the people attending have already pardoned themselves from attending this week and have brought me gifts so long. The gifts were freaking me out before (especially the clothing gifts) because I had no space for them and couldn’t fathom where I would put them, but since we’ve sorted out the clothes I know exactly what will go where and am more focused on when/how I will do the washing. I don’t think I can do all the washing this weekend and I’m not sure I want to leave it till I’m on maternity leave. Perhaps I will. I just need to trust that everything will somehow get done.
I am 35 weeks today. Super uncomfortable. I can’t stand for longer than a few minutes at a time or walk “long” distances anymore. A trip to the mall is most definitely out of the question. Time is really starting to run out now! I am excited and scared all at the same time. We’ll be entering an entire different era in our lives. Babyice is excited about his sister arriving and I am quite comforted by that. I’d rather he be excited than jealous or resentful. That being said, mommy can go jump off a bridge lately. He really wants very little to do with me. He does show me affection, gives me hugs and kisses, tells me he loves me…but don’t let daddy out of his sight! Mommy is also not allowed to brush his teeth. I haven’t been bathing him for months now since I can’t bend over the bath with my bump and now when I want to brush his teeth in the mornings, he says ‘No! Daddy brush my teeth.’ I am feeling a bit rejected, but I’m not taking it personally.
Thank goodness it’s Friday. I need a break!
I really think people underestimate how much hormones can affect your emotions, or even your physical well being. I certainly did. Because I was one of those people, I feel like it is hard for other people to understand what you are going through when you are affected by this.
My nesting has kicked in. In a huge way. I never had this while I was pregnant with Babyice. There my nesting only kicked in after Babyice was born. This resulted in extra sleep deprivation since I was cleaning instead of sleeping while he was sleeping. In hindsight, it was better that way though. Right now I feel physically incapable of doing the things I need to do to keep the house clean and tidy. Rudi helps, he really does. But after he has spent over an hour scrubbing the kitchen, he only has to cook once for everything to be chaos again. Try telling him to clean it again! Because the housework is such a revolving task, it just never stays clean/tidy.
On Friday my cupboard finally arrived. Rudi brought a colleague home to help him move the cupboard and to take away the compactum. The colleague brought with him his wife and two small children. I drove straight to the day mother after work to pick up Babyice, so I arrived home about 20 minutes after Rudi and his colleague did. By then it was too late. Every surface in my house was covered in toys/clothes and heaven knows what else. There was cooldrink on the floor…muddy footprints on the bath mat…everything was chaos. After they had moved the cupboard into the position I wanted they wanted to go buy beer or something and I was left with strangers in my house who apparently do not have any regard for the safety of their own children. The mother just let the kids run out the front door, down the stairs and across the road by themselves! (They are only 3 and 4 years old). Of course Babyice followed suit and I had to haul ass outside to try and stop them/make sure they were safe. They were playing in the park across the road and the mother had decided to follow me out the house, but stood quite a distance away from the park (actually across the road), while I stood there near the jungle gym supervising the kids. SERIOUSLY? I’m 8 months pregnant and I have to run after 3 toddlers?! Was she KIDDING ME?! I don’t mind running after my own child or keeping an eye on him. My own child, however, is quite disciplined and would probably have listened to me had I told him to wait or that he can only go to the park later when his father gets home. When Rudi got back I sent him a message and asked him to please get the people out of my house since they were not really invited for a visit and we obviously had a lot of work to do. Eventually they left. At which point I just collapsed into a pile and cried. Rudi and I tried to sort through some things, but it was practically a futile attempt. By the time we went to bed nothing much had changed and the house was still in a state.
On Saturday a friend of mine came over to my house, following some events that I would rather write about at another stage. I didn’t want to let her come because of how the house looked, but she insisted I need not worry since we’ve known each other since we were young teens and she didn’t care what my house looked like. Not long after she called she arrived at my house and cleared herself a path from the front door to where I was sitting. I really am not kidding about how bad it was. Not long after that she decided to start cleaning. I was so embarrassed and kept trying to help her/telling her to stop. Did I mention the housekeeper also didn’t pitch on Saturday?! Problem with transportation Anyway…she looked at me and said ‘Would you just please sit down and shut up? There were times that I wished someone would of done this for me’. That really hit home. I’ve been told a few times now, when someone comes over after the baby is born and asks if they can help, direct them to the dishes or stove or laundry. You don’t need help with the baby, you need help with everything else! Holding the baby isn’t going to clean the kitchen! She then set her husband and a friend to work and in no time the house was tidy, the dishes washed and the floors vacuumed. While all this frenetic cleaning was going on a neighbour I’ve never spoken to before knocks on the front door. She had some left over desserts from the day before and was going to throw them away because she couldn’t eat them all herself. Would we like to have them? She brought over some milk tarts and meringue nests. It was the most random thing. I couldn’t really believe what was happening. Not only were people I wasn’t paying to do so cleaning my house, but someone came to bring us desserts.
We then decided to go to Milla (the friend’s) house for a swim as it was blooming hot. We took Babyice’s Swimsafe suit with, but Rudi thought we should take his water wings too. The swim safe suit was about R 400.00 and doesn’t really keep him afloat. In fact, the neck ring seems to hinder him and he looks very uncomfortable in the water. This time we decided to give the water wings a whirl and he jumped into the water and off he went! All on his own! He had an absolute BALL of a time. He got out of the pool by himself, jumped in and practiced paddling and kicking. R 20.00 water wings are the bomb! By the time we left about two hours later, he could barely keep his eyes open. He passed out before we got home and actually took a nap! He has been very anti-nap over weekends, this was quite a surprise and a welcome break after the emotionally draining day I had had.
On Sunday we went to visit my grandmother’s sister and her daughter who had flown in from London on Saturday. They had presents for Babyice and PrincessIce (and for us!). They always buy the most awesome clothes! Babyice got two very gorgeous preppy style jerseys and a onesie pyjamas covered in monkeys! I LOVE onesies and was very sad when Babyice eventually grew out of them. Apparently onesies are all the rage abroad now, even for adults! PrincessIce came away with quite a bit of loot, including two pairs of shoes, quite a few baby grows and the cutest little fluffy pink coat with matching shoes.
After we got home the kitchen was in a state again. The shopping we had done earlier in the day had not been packed away and Rudi had made food so the surfaces were covered in stuff again. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes and there were dirty dishes in the sink. Again, I burst into tears at the state of things and my powerlessness to fix it. I sat Rudi down and tried to explain to him how I was feeling and that I really couldn’t help it. That these hormones are messing with my head and when I see mess they surge and make me see red. Like I said before, my brain is nesting, but my body is protesting! He didn’t really respond, so I’m not sure if he understood, but I put it out there in simple terms and I hope that he can try to see my side of things.
Last night Camilla came over with her family. We had pizza and she knuckled down and started helping me sort the house out. We cleared a chest of drawers and the floor of Babyice’s bedroom and underneath his bed. We managed to fill 2 black bags full of stuff to be chucked out. We still have to go through clothes, toys and books. She is coming over tonight again to continue the mission. She is a freaking rock star! I even slept better last night knowing that some of the stuff I have been longing to do had been done. There is still a lot more work, but with her help I just know it will be done in no time and I can’t wait to feel “ready”. To have things settle and to be able to wait for PrincessIce to arrive with a restful heart and mind. Zen. I want to be zen.
I still want to sort things in the kitchen out too. I haven’t told Milla that yet though. She reads my blog. *ducks*
I went to the hairdresser to have my hair done yesterday. He was so very sweet. He turned the aircon up to turbo for me because I was getting hot flushes. I think he felt bad about having to put me under the heater thing as well. I’m really pleased with the result. I asked him to add a few more purple streaks into my hair and asked that they be placed more prominently as the others just kind of disappeared and you couldn’t really tell they were there. He just shook his head. I don’t think he understands why I do it, but I don’t really need him to so that is okay. He also chopped quite a bit off the end. I basically give him license to do whatever he wants. I trust him not to make me look stupid and he knows that I don’t want a fringe under any circumstances. I am quite alright with chopping off a couple of centimeters at the moment since there is still damage left at the bottom from trying to get all the black out of my hair. I always leave there feeling like my hair looks amazing:
When I asked him how much he was going to chop off, he said ‘I don’t know. I’ll just get a feel for it while I’m busy.’ I didn’t realize how much he had cut off until I gathered my hair into a ponytail earlier today. I think the length looks good too though.
I have ordered and paid for the cupboard we’ll be replacing the compactum with. Rudi was supposed to go and fetch it today, but he has been so busy at work he just hasn’t had the time I was quite looking forward to the cupboard coming because it would force some reorganizing and repacking. Rudi is working very late tonight so he has to come and pick me up so I can take the car home and fetch Babyice. He will most likely only get home after 19:00. Days like today I wish he got paid overtime. After coming to fetch me he still has to go to the place near where the cupboard is, but Smartfurn will already be closed and he won’t be able to collect the cupboard. Once this delivery is done he has no other deliveries in that area, so he’ll have to pretty please his boss to use the bakkie to go and fetch the cupboard if he gets time. *sigh* I don’t ask for much. Just a few pieces of wood to pack some stuff in/on! When I called them to notify them of our intention to come and collect a cupboard, they offered me an optional extra – a top box. It was R475.00 extra and I was planning on packing stuff on top of the cupboard anyway, so I decided to go with it, since it will be a) more packing space and b) will hide the stuff that was going on top of the cupboard. Hopefully we’ll be able to get it tomorrow!
Going to pick up Babyice on my own and having to explain where daddy is isn’t going to be fun. He is extremely into his dad at the moment. To the extent that I sometimes feel a little rejected. Mommy could disappear off the face of the earth and he’ll be fine, but he tracks his father’s every move. I’m not sure if this has anything to do with me being pregnant or whether it is just because they have a very strong bond…but I just know I’m going to get my ears nagged off tonight till Rudi gets home. I’m so exhausted and sore at the moment all I want to do when I get home is relax/nap. It’s going to be a fun night.
We went to see the gynae last week. There were only two couples in the waiting room when we arrived, meaning that he wasn’t too backed up. We were in for a nice surprise as Being Mom had left hampers for all the pregnant mommies. I’m a sucker for freebies and the hamper included free nappies! Free nappies are the bestest! (and not just 5 like you get in your Discovery baby bag).
Before long we were ushered into the gynae’s office. He asked me under what circumstances I would come into the labour ward, probably checking whether I knew what signs to look out for when going into labour. I think I scored top marks Then we were off to see PrincessIce. She is growing well and weighs about 2 kilograms now. There are no signs that she is going to try and make an early escape and he is most certain she will not arrive before January. He wasn’t even able to give us a photo of her since madam has her head firmly lodged into my pelvis. This would explain my extreme discomfort when trying to walk! If one more person tells me I should walk more/exercise to try and relieve this discomfort I am going to punch them in the face. Especially if they do not have a head lodged in their pelvis at the time, which is always the case. My gynae is a funny guy. He said he is practicing his epidurals like a runner would train for the comrades. He says every time he administers an epidural he thinks of me and he is doing pretty well. He says the sweetest things Apparently the way PrincessIce is positioned now she is in the optimum position for a complication-free natural delivery.
A colleague scared the crap out of me yesterday. Another colleague of ours gave birth at the same hospital. She is also with my gynae. Apparently she went in at around 16:00. It was weekend. She gave birth around 22:00…before the gynae had even seen her! This also means she didn’t get an epidural! Shit. I will just have to trust that my gynae will be there the day I go into labour, that he will have time to give me my epidural that I so desperately want and that I will have as beautiful a birth as I did with Babyice. I must really do my best not to worry about all this now. It is out of my control and worrying about it isn’t going to change anything. Right? Right. *breathe*
He has scheduled an appointment for me with his partner in December. He said he would rather not tempt fate and schedule an appointment for me for when he gets back from leave. In effect this means that I won’t see him again until we see each other in the delivery room! He said they would likely schedule another appointment for me in January, but that he doubts I’ll make it to any appointment they make for Jan. Flippen hell. After that we booked my hospital bed. I’ve already gotten authorization from the medical aid…everything is starting to feel very REAL!
I discussed with the receptionist the R 1500.00 co-payment for the birth and she said we don’t have to pay it. Apparently the medical aid’s policy has changed since I had Babyice and there is no co-payment on my plan anymore. SCORE! I save R 1500.00, right? Well, sort of. I found out the same day that Discovery doesn’t cover the actual Mirena device which I plan to have put in after the birth. The discovery rate for the device is R 2060.00. Thank goodness for the saving of the R 1500.00 though. I’ve put that money away in my 30 day account to pay towards the Mirena when the time comes.
The nesting instinct is still strong. Whenever we bring stuff into the house I feel like crying. I want to get rid of stuff…not bring in more junk! And everything is junk. We went to a few furniture stores yesterday and found no freestanding cupboards. We went to two pine furniture shops and found what we are looking for, with a big fat price tag of between R 2500.00 and R 3000.00, without a coat of paint! So I’ve decided to get a 2 door linen cupboard from Smartfurn. Basically it’s like a wardrobe cupboard, but only has shelves and no hanging space. It might be made out of chipboard, but it is less than half the price of the pine furniture. All I know is that I don’t want something with drawers. Drawers have repeatedly failed me! I hope to get the cupboard this week. I lay awake at 3:00 this morning visualizing what I would pack into the cupboard. Yes. I have serious issues!