I really think people underestimate how much hormones can affect your emotions, or even your physical well being. I certainly did. Because I was one of those people, I feel like it is hard for other people to understand what you are going through when you are affected by this.
My nesting has kicked in. In a huge way. I never had this while I was pregnant with Babyice. There my nesting only kicked in after Babyice was born. This resulted in extra sleep deprivation since I was cleaning instead of sleeping while he was sleeping. In hindsight, it was better that way though. Right now I feel physically incapable of doing the things I need to do to keep the house clean and tidy. Rudi helps, he really does. But after he has spent over an hour scrubbing the kitchen, he only has to cook once for everything to be chaos again. Try telling him to clean it again! Because the housework is such a revolving task, it just never stays clean/tidy.
On Friday my cupboard finally arrived. Rudi brought a colleague home to help him move the cupboard and to take away the compactum. The colleague brought with him his wife and two small children. I drove straight to the day mother after work to pick up Babyice, so I arrived home about 20 minutes after Rudi and his colleague did. By then it was too late. Every surface in my house was covered in toys/clothes and heaven knows what else. There was cooldrink on the floor…muddy footprints on the bath mat…everything was chaos. After they had moved the cupboard into the position I wanted they wanted to go buy beer or something and I was left with strangers in my house who apparently do not have any regard for the safety of their own children. The mother just let the kids run out the front door, down the stairs and across the road by themselves! (They are only 3 and 4 years old). Of course Babyice followed suit and I had to haul ass outside to try and stop them/make sure they were safe. They were playing in the park across the road and the mother had decided to follow me out the house, but stood quite a distance away from the park (actually across the road), while I stood there near the jungle gym supervising the kids. SERIOUSLY? I’m 8 months pregnant and I have to run after 3 toddlers?! Was she KIDDING ME?! I don’t mind running after my own child or keeping an eye on him. My own child, however, is quite disciplined and would probably have listened to me had I told him to wait or that he can only go to the park later when his father gets home. When Rudi got back I sent him a message and asked him to please get the people out of my house since they were not really invited for a visit and we obviously had a lot of work to do. Eventually they left. At which point I just collapsed into a pile and cried. Rudi and I tried to sort through some things, but it was practically a futile attempt. By the time we went to bed nothing much had changed and the house was still in a state.
On Saturday a friend of mine came over to my house, following some events that I would rather write about at another stage. I didn’t want to let her come because of how the house looked, but she insisted I need not worry since we’ve known each other since we were young teens and she didn’t care what my house looked like. Not long after she called she arrived at my house and cleared herself a path from the front door to where I was sitting. I really am not kidding about how bad it was. Not long after that she decided to start cleaning. I was so embarrassed and kept trying to help her/telling her to stop. Did I mention the housekeeper also didn’t pitch on Saturday?! Problem with transportation Anyway…she looked at me and said ‘Would you just please sit down and shut up? There were times that I wished someone would of done this for me’. That really hit home. I’ve been told a few times now, when someone comes over after the baby is born and asks if they can help, direct them to the dishes or stove or laundry. You don’t need help with the baby, you need help with everything else! Holding the baby isn’t going to clean the kitchen! She then set her husband and a friend to work and in no time the house was tidy, the dishes washed and the floors vacuumed. While all this frenetic cleaning was going on a neighbour I’ve never spoken to before knocks on the front door. She had some left over desserts from the day before and was going to throw them away because she couldn’t eat them all herself. Would we like to have them? She brought over some milk tarts and meringue nests. It was the most random thing. I couldn’t really believe what was happening. Not only were people I wasn’t paying to do so cleaning my house, but someone came to bring us desserts.
We then decided to go to Milla (the friend’s) house for a swim as it was blooming hot. We took Babyice’s Swimsafe suit with, but Rudi thought we should take his water wings too. The swim safe suit was about R 400.00 and doesn’t really keep him afloat. In fact, the neck ring seems to hinder him and he looks very uncomfortable in the water. This time we decided to give the water wings a whirl and he jumped into the water and off he went! All on his own! He had an absolute BALL of a time. He got out of the pool by himself, jumped in and practiced paddling and kicking. R 20.00 water wings are the bomb! By the time we left about two hours later, he could barely keep his eyes open. He passed out before we got home and actually took a nap! He has been very anti-nap over weekends, this was quite a surprise and a welcome break after the emotionally draining day I had had.
On Sunday we went to visit my grandmother’s sister and her daughter who had flown in from London on Saturday. They had presents for Babyice and PrincessIce (and for us!). They always buy the most awesome clothes! Babyice got two very gorgeous preppy style jerseys and a onesie pyjamas covered in monkeys! I LOVE onesies and was very sad when Babyice eventually grew out of them. Apparently onesies are all the rage abroad now, even for adults! PrincessIce came away with quite a bit of loot, including two pairs of shoes, quite a few baby grows and the cutest little fluffy pink coat with matching shoes.
After we got home the kitchen was in a state again. The shopping we had done earlier in the day had not been packed away and Rudi had made food so the surfaces were covered in stuff again. The dishwasher was full of clean dishes and there were dirty dishes in the sink. Again, I burst into tears at the state of things and my powerlessness to fix it. I sat Rudi down and tried to explain to him how I was feeling and that I really couldn’t help it. That these hormones are messing with my head and when I see mess they surge and make me see red. Like I said before, my brain is nesting, but my body is protesting! He didn’t really respond, so I’m not sure if he understood, but I put it out there in simple terms and I hope that he can try to see my side of things.
Last night Camilla came over with her family. We had pizza and she knuckled down and started helping me sort the house out. We cleared a chest of drawers and the floor of Babyice’s bedroom and underneath his bed. We managed to fill 2 black bags full of stuff to be chucked out. We still have to go through clothes, toys and books. She is coming over tonight again to continue the mission. She is a freaking rock star! I even slept better last night knowing that some of the stuff I have been longing to do had been done. There is still a lot more work, but with her help I just know it will be done in no time and I can’t wait to feel “ready”. To have things settle and to be able to wait for PrincessIce to arrive with a restful heart and mind. Zen. I want to be zen.
I still want to sort things in the kitchen out too. I haven’t told Milla that yet though. She reads my blog. *ducks*