Someone I met recently got me thinking. Thinking about boys…and ultimately girls and boys. This boy, he is quite good looking. Yummy. He is lucky I am married, otherwise he’d be in big trouble. Or would he? After getting to know his charming self a bit better (and I don’t know him well at all) I made a few observations. Things I would not have been able to perceive earlier in my life, which is a pity. As they say, hindsight is 20/20. Perhaps I was just a stupid young girl. I craved love and attention from men and only really knew one way to get it. The wrong way.
This boy, he is quite clear about being non committal. He is also quite clear about the fact that he wouldn’t think twice to call you up if he needed/wanted to get laid. So confident. So outspoken. So attractive. A player, through and through. In the past (obviously before I met Rudi) I might have been charmed by such a man. I would have thought ‘It will be different with me’. Pffft. No matter how many times you are told you can’t change a man, a lot of us still seem to think we can. Even after reading this post, women will still think they can. Every guy has got to settle down eventually, right? If I give him everything he wants, surely that can be me? That plan never paid off for me. Ever. I’ve had my heart shattered that way a number of times. Let’s just say I’m a little thick skinned myself.
If a boy tells you outright he doesn’t want a relationship – believe him. He doesn’t want one. He isn’t going to want one with you because you’re special/different. You are probably an amazing person, but that doesn’t mean he wants you. If/when he finds the woman he wants, she will know it. He will tell her. The truth is, even if someone told me this outright, if I desired his love/attention/time I would have given up whatever it was he was asking for to get it. I might be right about all that I am saying right now, but that is not because I know better. I’m just able to see these things now that I am standing on the outside of these situations. I wish I had been able to see these things when I was in them.
I would probably have done a lot differently when it comes to men, specifically, if I knew then what I know now. I might have known that having sex with teenage boys is quite unsatisfying. They’re so inexperienced! Sure, they have to practice with somebody, but that didn’t have to be me 🙂
All I’m really trying to say is, LISTEN to what men are telling you. Most players are pretty open and honest about what they are/want and don’t necessarily lie to get into your pants. They’re still douche bags though. You just need to be sure your hearing isn’t selective. You can’t change a man. Really. I promise. He will only change himself if/when he wants to.
I count my blessings that I met Rudi when I did. Heaven knows where I would have ended up if I hadn’t. I am blessed with a good man. He isn’t perfect and I often want to throttle him, but he is a good man. Sometimes I still wonder what I have done to deserve him. I am a very lucky woman indeed.