acidicice

Hollywood

So, this is not the kind of post I usually write. It’s um…personal, but I’d like to think of it more as a public service than something that I am embarrassed by. A long while ago I read a post on Scary Mommy about getting your nether regions waxed. As these posts usually are, it was hilarious. It was also fear inducing. “I will never”, I vowed. You know what they say though, never say never. So, since there is a photo of me next to the word masochist in the dictionary, I decided ’tis the season to be hairless and made an appointment for said wax. I tried to make an appointment to have it done at our beauty therapist at work, but she was fully booked and was then going on leave. I was not deterred, although it would have been a perfect opportunity to back out. I have a friend who is a beauty therapist and we had discussed it before when I was putting feelers out about it. Best part? She could come to my house. So we set up an appointment. I told her numerous times that I am literally terrified of doing this. I’ve had my legs/underarms/eyebrows waxed before and I know how much *that* hurts, so venturing into more sensitive areas was very, very scary. She laughed it off and said I’ll be fine. I did not believe her. Before reading any further, you need to know that I’m a huge wuss. I don’t like pain. I can’t even stand to be poked in the arm. At the hairdresser I used to brush my hair myself because I would literally want to cry when someone else did it. I am “pull sensitive” when it comes to my hair…so this was a really great idea, wasn’t it?

The day of the appointment arrived and I had managed to push the thought out of my head for most of the day. As the time crept nearer, the tension was undeniable. An hour before she was scheduled to arrive I popped two tablets containing ibuprofen and paracetamol as a precautionary measure. I’ve heard that this might help. For those who don’t know, painkillers don’t do anything to your pain. They simply raise your pain threshold so that you are no longer aware of the pain until they wear off, so it seemed like a good course of action.

She came over to my house a little bit early, so I delayed her with a smoke break and something to drink, nervous that the painkillers had not kicked in yet. We chatted and plugged in the machine to melt the wax, etc. “Are you ready?” “No. Yes. No.” How could I possibly be ready?! I had already paid the morning of the appointment, so there was no getting out of it now. I checked my modesty at the door. Since the therapist was already a friend, conversation flowed easily, despite my nerves. She announced she was going to use a combination of strip and hot wax. Hot wax doesn’t require any wax strips to remove it. It is my understanding that strip wax is supposed to hurt more than hot wax, but I’m no professional. Before we even started I told her that she is not to tweeze anything under any circumstances. Having a bunch of hair ripped out at once is obviously going to be torturous, but ONE BY ONE? Absolutely not! She said nothing as she twirled her wooden stick to gather the string of wax that had formed while removing it from the melting pot. I gritted my teeth at the realization that she was about to slather that onto me.

She started with the strip wax at the top. She ripped it off and firmly placed her hand on the area that she had just waxed. This pressure helps for the initial pain and it really does offer some relief. I had anticipated that I would scream. I did not. I may have sworn, but not nearly as loudly as I thought I would. After the shock of the first strip, it was actually completely okay. I asked her if this top part hurt more than the down below part. Somehow it made sense to me that it would. She said yes, it does usually hurt more at the top/more exposed area. As she worked her way down, she switched to the hot wax. I’m not going to lie, the warmth of the wax as it was being applied was actually quite pleasant. Everyone loves to be nice and warm, right? Well, that was just getting it on. She needed a few extra hands when she got into the parts that are more curvy and she instructed me as to what to hold and where. The first side she pulled the wax from, I may have said a few choice swear words. I’m like HELL NO. This definitely hurts more than the top! She assured me the other side wouldn’t be as bad. I didn’t believe her. She was right though, the other side didn’t hurt as much. She just kept applying and ripping wax off and during the process I actually became used to it. Maybe I was just numb, but it was completely tolerable. She whipped out tweezers and started removing strays that the wax didn’t seem to want to grip and at that point, I didn’t even mind.

I was very surprised at how well I handled it, considering my paralyzing fear beforehand. It really wasn’t that bad. Actually, I intend to maintain it. Pain wise, it was not nearly as bad as I had imagined. Our appointment was on a Friday and on the Sunday she came back to see if she could remove some of the finer hair that didn’t want to come out on the Friday. My expectation was that things would be very smooth, as if there was never anything there to begin with, but that isn’t the reality of it. It’s pretty damn smooth for the most part, though. I didn’t take any painkillers on the Sunday and the waxing was effortless. To be fair, there wasn’t much for it to pull out, but I was totally fine the entire time, so I’m not even sure if the painkillers were completely necessary.

The next day you will be sore. Apparently it is only really so the first time, but it is very sensitive around there. I was advised not to wear underwear and to wear loose fitting pants for a few days to prevent any chafing. I was quite aware of the area the next day and also became very aware of how often Gabby likes to kick me there while we are nursing. By the second day it was much better already and the subsequent wax on the Sunday didn’t make it worse at all. Would I recommend it? Yes. I would. Should you be scared? No. You shouldn’t be. If a wuss like me can do it, so can you! They say the first time is the absolute worst and after that it will be much better.

If you’ve ever had this done, I would love to hear about your experience in the comments below 🙂

Thanks for reading!

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