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I thought it was time to change the look and feel of my blog a little. I’m liking the new pink, but my banner is KILLING ME!

As you can see, it doesn’t fit. Recently I squished it in paint a bit, but it distorted the image, so I canned that.

The image is special to me because it contains pictures of Rudi, me and my family and it was made for me by a friend (he runs the Kuier website).

Can anyone help me either make this thing fit or resizing it to the correct size without distorting it?

I’m really going to try my best to change my mindset. I know that thinking about conceiving all the time really just makes it harder in the end. I need to focus on something else, or throw myself into another challenge to do this. The only thing that I can think of that will sufficiently distract me is weight loss. My mind tends to get very ‘one track’ when I’m trying to lose weight. Many friends have told me though that it won’t be a good idea to try and lose weight if I’m trying to fall pregnant. The things is…losing weight assists with fertility and it would be better for both the baby and myself if I was lighter. My clothes are starting to be too tight to wear and I’m starting to become overly conscious of this again. What to do…what to do.

I was listening to a song by The Script on the radio this morning and it made me think of Rudi and I with this whole situation with the loss of our child.

They say bad things happen for a reason
But those wise words ain’t gonna stop the bleeding
Cos she’s [ed: he’s] moved on while I’m still grieving
Cos when a heart breaks no it don’t breakeven

What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you
What am I suppose to say when I’m all choked up and your ok
I’m falling to pieces
I’m falling to pieces

I consumed a bottle of red wine by myself yesterday. It was fun. I think I’ll do it again today. Why the hell not? It is weekend, after all.