I am writing you this letter because it is so hard for me to say these things out loud without breaking down. I know it hurts you to see us so sad, but I know you understand that we are suffering a great loss. I love you so dearly. You have always been a constant in my life; the only male role model worth looking up to. The only Oupa I have ever had.
My fondest childhood memories always include you. I remember all the things you used to do with me when I was a little girl. All the adventures you used to take me on. I remember going hiking, going to the petting zoos, museums, going to the beach. I remember the books you bought for me, the stories you would tell me. I know you did your best to cultivate a love of reading in me (it worked!) and an interest in the world around me (that worked too!). You tried to make the days fun for me and I treasure those memories I have with you.
There was a time where we drifted apart; where situations and people came between us. I regret that we missed out on that time together. I am very grateful that we reconnected and have spent the past few years in each other’s love and company. I am glad that I am here with you now, with an opportunity to say goodbye.
I write this with a heavy heart. We just had a conversation and you struggled to speak. It hurts me so much to see you suffer. I am so torn right now. I love you and wish you could be a part of my life from now on and I especially had hopes that Elijah could get to know what a special man you are. God has other plans for you now. As much as it pains me to let you go, I do not want to see you in pain. You do not deserve what you are going through. Your entire life you have served God and others. You deserve to die with dignity. You deserve to be free of pain.
Do not let our sadness burden you any longer. We will take care of each other. Your brothers in faith will carry us through. It hurts us to see you like this. Answer God’s call. It pains me to say these things, but I know you will be going to a better place and there you will be granted with all the things you deserve. I know you will be richly blessed and I know you will look after Jamie while you wait for us.
I just wanted you to know before you go that you have always been the most important man in my life. Rudi comes in at a close second, but you have always been number one. You have been an enormous positive influence in my life and I will always have a very special place in my heart for you. I will not forget you. I will miss you terribly. I will miss being able to pick up the phone to chat to you. I will miss being able to come to you for advice when I need it. I will miss your hugs and your sense of humour (dry as it is).
I will love you always, Oupa. Be at peace. Tell Jamie I love her. Say hello to Uncle Dickie and your mom and dad. You have much to look forward to. Your time with us is over now, but we’ll be okay. We have to be.
Love you forever