Peoples, dating in your 30s is a fucking nightmare. I was blissfully unaware of this fact when I became single. Ignorance truly was bliss in this case.
Perhaps I’m a little old school, but online dating just doesn’t do it for me. When complaining about it to a friend he said “That’s the way people do things now” and I guess he is right. Look, I know nobody is going to hit on me in the shops when I have my two children in tow and that is about the extent of me leaving the house other than going to work. I don’t get time to go out and meet new people, I have my kids with me 24/7 and don’t have the luxury of family that will watch them for me for free. By myself I sure as hell can’t afford babysitting services and wouldn’t expect anyone else to pay, so I’m mostly at home with my kids, or at work. I also don’t want to expose them to every new man I meet, so I’m quite stuck.
So obviously, one gets lonely and you’re left with no choice but to hit up a dating site to try and meet new people. Holy shit. Tinder is an absolute shit show. I wrote about my first impressions here. Tried Zoosk too, but that is a paid subscription and you can’t see messages from people unless you pay and what not.
I’ve met 3 guys from Tinder. The first guy is lovely, took me on a nice date and was courteous and all. He and I are still friends and chat very frequently. We decided not to pursue anything since he plans to emigrate and there’s really no point in getting attached to anyone. We get along really well though and he is a nice friend to have.
The second guy I met seemed to be quite successful, but also really full of himself. Intelligent and good looking, but spoke so much about himself I barely got a word in. Pass.
The third guy I met also seemed nice, but a bit…too much. Talking about “giving us a chance” before we had even met. We met up and he didn’t put me off, despite being extremely talkative as well. The day after he asked me whether I was still attracted to him and interested in him. After I said I’d like to see him again, he ghosted me, which is also fine. I said I wanted to see him again because I know I can be quite cagey and wanted to be sure whether it was me or him.
I’ve also matched with numerous fuckboys on Tinder. In case you are unsure what a fuckboy is, Urban Dictionary defines him as follows:
Asshole boy who is into strictly sexual relationships; he will lead a girl on and let her down, then apologize only to ask for “pics” once the girl has welcomed him back into her trust. Boys like this will pretend to genuinely care about the girl but always fail to prove the supposed affection.
I actually wrote on my Tinder profile that fuckboys should just swipe left, but inevitably a fuckboy doesn’t know he is a fuckboy (or tries to hide it) and I match with them anyway. Perhaps we’ll chat a bit and once they figured out I am not DTF (down to fuck) just anyone, they disappear. Totally fine by me.
Let’s not forget the other propositions. Married men getting their flirt on. How about…no? I’m way too old to just be a side chick.
I need a self sufficient man, who loves to cuddle and watch series/movies. Loves my kids and treats me with respect. This…is apparently too much to ask for. I’ve also realized I have a very specific physical type. Once you get into the swing of swiping on Tinder, it’s pretty easy to peg it down. I have also had to stop myself from swiping right on men that strongly resemble my ex. That’s a bit of a mind fuck, but I guess you like what you like.
So here I am. Single AF with no options really. What’s a woman to do?