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Confessions of a fat girl

So we were slacking off on going to gym for a while. There was a week or two or three that we didn’t go at all, or went very sporadically.


We’ve been going every now and then in the past three weeks or so. For the last two weeks we went twice and we intend on going this evening (I attended Yoga on Mondays and Pilates on Thursdays). I need to fit in some cardio and an abs class as well. The 15 minute ab classes at Virgin Active are awesome. You might think that 15 minutes doesn’t seem like much, but it is very effective! I struggle to target my stomach muscles when doing sit ups or the like. Even when I was seeing the personal trainer and we spoke about it, the matter was never rectified. I must be doing it wrong. With the 15 minute ab class though, Rudi and I both felt very tender the next day.


We really need to up our game. We do have constraints though, mostly time related. Even though we usually finish work at 16:00, sometimes Rudi works late. Even if he is 20 minutes late it throws our entire nightly routine off. Babyice usually eats around 18:00, baths around 18:30 and goes to bed around 19:00. This doesn’t give us much time to play with in the evenings. When we go to gym it is usually for around an hour, especially if I’m doing a class. It might be a little longer in that case. Babyice does go to bed quite early, but at his age he needs a lot of sleep and as always, he is my priority. We do try to go as often as we can, but it would be ideal if we managed to go more often.


Rudi and I have also been threatening to improve our diet since we started this whole thing. Since February.  I asked him again last night when we are going to make an effort to eat healthier. Summer is around the corner again and wouldn’t it be nice if we were looking fabulous? He said…uh…tomorrow. We haven’t done our monthly shopping yet, or decided on an eating plan. We really need to invest some time in it. We need to decide on something manageable, healthy and sustainable. A real challenge. Rudi does most of the cooking and he is often frustrated because he has to think of new dishes all the time. He gets bored eating the same thing over and over again, week after week. I also despise drinking water. When I go on a diet I *force* myself to drink the required 2 litres of water, but I hate it, with a passion. It isn’t sustainable for me and isn’t something I get used to. I don’t like drinking *any* fluids, nevermind something that tastes yucky!



You may or may not have noticed that my weight loss ticker on the left has gone from 8.6 to 6.8. I weighed myself after Pilates on Thursday evening. The scale spat out a 1.8 kg gain. Bear in mind that I used to weigh in the mornings on an empty tummy and this weigh in was after 19:00 at night. You’re heavier at night, in case you didn’t know, but I don’t think that can account for the full 1.8 kg (or can it?). Since I’m doing Yoga on Mondays now instead of sparrow’s fart on a Saturday, I figured I better bite the bullet and decide on a new weigh day/time. There might be a discrepancy in the beginning, but it will eventually even out, right? Right.


So….something has got to give and I fear it may be the eating plan part of things. I don’t feel like measuring food, but I do think we need to make drastic changes. I already cut out sugar in my coffee, drink low fat milk and eat whole wheat bread. I don’t have too much of a problem with portion size, my real problem is eating the wrong thing, often. I also struggle with carbs, of course, who doesn’t? Carbs are so delicious. Chocolate too. *sigh*.


I can’t stay fat forever and I’m trying my best not to slip back down on the slippery slope that I’m forever on.  I know I will battle with this for the rest of my life. It sucks. I’m resentful. That won’t change anything. GAH.