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Category Archives: Things My Kids Say

Please Go To Sleep

I have been attempting to sleep train my children again. Most nights I spend an hour to 90 minutes laying down with them to get them to sleep. Gabby still nurses to sleep and even if she seems sound asleep, as soon as I move from her side I hear “Mommy where you going?”. It can be infuriating and I can get easily frustrated. Elijah has no problems falling asleep. If I am there he will usually fall asleep in about 5 minutes, which was also the case last night. The problem came in when I tried to get up to leave and Gabby started crying. I tried so hard to stand my ground and just let her cry it out. Then Elijah woke up and fed up with her crying, he started complaining. I was then privy to a conversation between the two of them, which I was relaying to a friend via WhatsApp while it was all happening. This is a transcript of that chat:

Both these kids are howling in bed. Snot en trane.

They are now plotting to run away together tomorrow.

They plan to take the fish with them.

Gabby is asking where my fish will be.

She doesn’t understand how the fish tank goes with them and my fish stays here.

Elijah says he will buy another tank.

Mommy is rude. Now they are talking about how they will move to Salma (a neighbour) and Salma’s mommy will make them food.

They have now realized they can’t have another mommy, that I’m their mommy no matter what.

This messes with their plans.

They are legit blowing their noses and having a mother of a snot fest.

I so much want to comfort them.

Gabby: I want boooooooobies!

Elijah: Mommy won’t come. She is rude.

Gabby: I got a plan now.

*whispering*

I can’t take much more of this. 

They hate me.

Elijah says I don’t care about them.

Gabby is screaming at me that I hate them. Why won’t I lay there?

Elijah: Mommy cares more about sleep than she cares about us.

Gabby is still shouting at me because I hate them. Elijah agrees, because I am doing this. They are each trying to take the blame. She hates me. No, she hates me. I wish I could record this. Gabby can’t stop crying. She needs her boobies. This is torture. Gabby says her heart is breaking for mommy right now.

Elijah tries to negotiate. Mommy, just give her 5 minute boobies please!

Gabby: No! I want INFINITY boobies!

I can’t take this. It’s killing me.

To my credit, they both feared leaving the room. They were warned not to. Every now and then I would tell them “I love you. Go to sleep!”, especially amidst all the “MOMMY YOU HATE US!”. Eventually they both mustered up the courage to shuffle slowly towards my room…very close together, in case either of them gets into trouble. Once they hit the threshold their confidence soared and Gabby climbed onto my bed. Elijah followed suit and suddenly all the tears were forgotten.

While I obviously failed at my attempt to sleep train these monkeys, I managed to redeem myself in their eyes I guess. I had to chuckle at their plans to move out and can now definitely see how parents can claim their kids gang up and plot against them. It was heart wrenching and hilarious at the same time.

Sleepers

Once they finally fall asleep they are adorable though

I don’t know what I am going to do. Sleep training one at a time is hard enough, but sleep training two seems impossible. Since Elijah doesn’t actually have a problem falling asleep, he is not my challenge. Gabby wakes him up when she cries and then they are both whining for some sort of comfort. I don’t want to spend so much time putting them to sleep each night. I need a little time in the evening to myself to unwind, gather my thoughts and relax before I go to bed myself. On the one hand I think that they are only going to be little for so long and eventually I won’t be welcome to lay down with them as they drift off. On the other hand I need to maintain my sanity.

What would you do?

Thanks for reading 🙂

 

Bwess

My little girl is growing up so very fast. On the one hand I want to keep her small, on the other I’m in awe of each milestone and watching her personality blossom. She isn’t really talking much yet. She tries, but sometimes a lot of the words come out sounding the same, or are just sounds. I was worried about her not speaking much yet. Her brother set the bar high for speech. He spoke well quite soon and articulates his thoughts quite beautifully for his age. A couple of weeks ago I had a light bulb moment. Since Elijah is in play school now, we are trying to teach him to speak Afrikaans as well and therefore Gabby is not only exposed to English, but Afrikaans too. This might explain why she is taking a little bit longer to start speaking. Also, every child is different. It is quite clear that she understands us very well as she follows instructions and “answers” questions.

She has been doing the cutest things of late. She has started shrugging her shoulders when she doesn’t know something. It is too adorable. The other day she was in the kitchen with her dad and I was busy getting ready for work in my room. I sneezed (rather loudly, as I do) and she came running into the room, looked at me and said “Bwess” and ran off again. Huge heart melt moment right there!

At 23 months old she is still breastfed. While the snide remarks, disapproval and judgement from other people intensifies as she gets older, I am still grateful for this amazing mothering tool. I can’t tell you how much easier things are with her than they were with Elijah. Yes, they are different children, but I find breastfeeding invaluable in situations that would have worked well with him too. Recently Gabby went through a phase where she would start throwing a tantrum and latching her on would instantaneously soothe her and put a stop to it. With Elijah we would pretty much have to wait it out and just make sure that he doesn’t hurt himself while he was having his meltdown. If Gabby hurts herself latching her on also immediately soothes and comforts her. With Elijah it took ages and while a dummy was sometimes helpful, it didn’t always work. Breastfeeding works every.single.time. It also makes a great in between snack before dinner, instead of her reaching for a cookie, sweet or bread to fill the gap. Gabby is not a fussy eater at all, however her brother is full of nonsense when it comes to food. My friend Arkwife has noticed the same with her breastfed child vs. the one that wasn’t. I like to think that the two are related. One word Gabby has started using (a lot) is “boop” – read BOOB. Yup. She now asks for it. I have often heard people say “Once they are old enough to ask for it, they should no longer be breastfeeding.” While I respect the choices of others, their opinions don’t pay my bills. I actually had the guts to say this to someone who criticized me for still breastfeeding and acted disgusted that I still do, stating repeatedly it was “time to stop”. I am non confrontational and often don’t defend myself, back down or pretend not to be phased. I simply stated “Just let me know which one of my bills you are going to pay with your opinion” and she left it right there. It works. You should try it!

After my post about discipline, Natalie sent me a message on Facebook with information she has put together about discipline and what works for her. I had an aha! moment when she mentioned a reward chart. I remembered that we had used a reward chart for Elijah when we were potty training him and he really loved it. Once he was potty trained the chart was forgotten. We bought a magnetic white board and I split up the days of the week and areas that he could earn a magnet for. Currently on our board are areas we need to focus on: brushing teeth, playing with his sister, eating supper, picking up toys and listening. I drew a small picture for each category so that he can identify them himself. When we got home on the second day I showed him the categories he could potentially earn for and he really made a concerted effort to earn his magnets. I still have to figure out what we will reward him with at the end of the week if he does well. I think we might resort to money sometimes as he really seems to love money! So much so that he will carry around money in his hand at all times if he has any. One night he fell asleep with money in his hand and slept for over an hour with it tight in his grasp and then eventually let go. He is still very small, so I think we can start off with a small denomination like R 5.00. Perhaps this will also open up opportunities to teach him about saving, etc in the future. This is a very new development in our relationship and I am hoping that we can continue motivate him with the reward chart.

Last Friday Elijah went for an open day at his new school. We have enrolled him in the same primary school I attended. He absolutely LOVED it. So much so that he did not want to go back to his old school on Monday. The prospectus came home with him and there are a number of worrying things in there. There are a few things expected of him that he is not able to do yet. They want him to be able to write his name, know a contact number and our address. All things that we will need to cram into him for the remainder of the year and hopefully he’ll be ready next year. There are a few other things we need to focus on, but he is a bright boy and I’m sure we can get him to master everything before he goes to his new school. I am quite excited about him going. His previous school disappointed us in a few areas and I’ll be glad to have him move on. Hopefully he will be happy and flourish there.

Parental Wisdom Lost

The kids are growing so fast. You hear it all the time when you are young. “Where is the time going?”  “You’ve gotten so big!”  “Every time I see you you’ve grown!” Then it happens to you. It happens to your children and you see for yourself. I am going to turn into one of those parents who tell my children that they will only understand one day when they have their own, because that is the truth. You just do not have any concept of how much wisdom your parents (in my case grandparents) pass on to you as a child or teenager until your time comes. It is such a shame. I just know that my children will also roll their eyes at me when I tell theme these wise things and one day they will look back and they will get it.

 

I am watching my children grow and it truly is a privilege to see them develop and come into their own. Sometimes I catch myself listening to one of them breathe, or their heartbeat and sit in awe of these people I had a hand in creating. It truly is a miracle and I pause to acknowledge this every now and then. A friend asked me the other day “Don’t you sometimes look at your life and wonder: Is this it?”. No. I can’t say that I do. I look at my life and I think “This is it!” I must say that I am grateful and content. Yes, I could use more money. Who couldn’t? Yes, I want a house of my own, but I have a roof over my head. Yes, a new car would be nice, but I have a functioning car right now which takes us everywhere we need to be.  It would be greedy to ask for more.
Elijah is a cheeky bugger. Always has to have the last word. Underneath that prickliness there is a soft heart and tender soul. He is so gentle with his sister and he can be so kind. He can also be strong willed and defiant. He did the sweetest thing the other night. I just wanted to kiss his face! We were sitting on the couch and he wanted to take his socks off. I said no. It went like this:

Elijah: “Why can’t I take my socks off?”

Me: “It’s cold, Elijah.”

Elijah: “But I’m not cold.”

Me: “I’m cold. My feet are freezing!”

Elijah: “Let me go and fetch you some socks. Where are your socks?”

Me: “Don’t worry my boy, it is okay.”

Elijah: “I know! I’ll go fetch your slippers!”

*runs off to fetch slippers*

Elijah: “Here you go mommy. You can wear these slippers. I couldn’t find your Eeyore slippers. Only one of them.” and then he put them on for me.

Does your heart not just *MELT*? I really wanted to document this, in case I forget about it someday. Maybe someday when he turns around and spews hatred at me when he is a teenager. I suppose that is bound to happen at some point, no matter how you raise them. Please don’t let me forget this sweet boy.

Gabby is RUNNING around. Remember 5 months ago I thought she would never get up off her lazy bum and walk? Well, here she is…chasing me all over. She is quite clingy at the moment. This is new territory to me. Elijah used to be clingy with Rudi. It is endearing, but can be frustrating at the same time. When I am frustrated I try to remember that it will not be this way forever. Elijah is already running away and playing at a friends’ house for hours at a time. Sometimes on a weekend he will go play and we won’t see him for ages. We have to go and check up on him. He has completely forgotten about us. Someday, too soon, Gabby will do this too. She is slowly starting to speak. I see her watching our mouths when we say words and then try to mimic the shapes we make. I suppose she has some sort of vocabulary now, but it is at a point where Rudi and I *might* understand what she is saying (it is very helpful that she points) and where nobody else will. Any day now she is going to say “Fuck!” and we’ll laugh and scold. We are still breastfeeding, 20 months in. I feel very lucky to have come this far. Haters will hate. I am far beyond fearing judgement. My family (in laws included) don’t ever ask me when we plan to stop. People do and I find that it is quite easy to blow them off, you know, since it is none of their business in the first place. We are trying to set nursing boundaries and limit breastfeeding to happen at home only and no longer in public and so far it is working well. I don’t foresee the end of our breastfeeding journey in the near future and I am okay with that. I suspect I might have a personal cut off at 3 years, but that is not set in stone. We will see.

 

On Sunday in church I prayed to be a better mother. Sometimes I hear myself saying something to Elijah and recoiling at my own words. Sometimes I don’t like the way I speak to him, but by the time I realize it, the damage is done. I want to shout less. I want to be more patient. I want to be more kind. I want to be less frustrated. I want to be more present. I want to be better. It is hard. It is an uphill battle and constant work on myself. Sometimes I want to shake Rudi. I don’t know if he sees what I see. I want to smack him when he undermines my authority. He may not see the harm in something small and he undercuts me. For example, Elijah went looking for his friend. He came back with an empty bottle of Barbie bubbles. When we asked where he had found the bubbles he told us his friend and her parents weren’t home, but the door was open and he took the bubbles. I told him to take it back immediately. I explained to him that it is stealing. Rudi did not want him to take it back. He reasoned that it was empty and that if the neighbours were home now they would judge Elijah for taking the bubbles. Point completely missed. It is the principle of the matter. We ended up refilling the bubbles with bubble mixture and Elijah took it back. I don’t think they were home yet, but they are probably still scratching their heads as to how the container refilled itself.  This is a classic example of where we disagree on something and it comes out in front of the kids. I know it should not. It is hard to find a moment alone to discuss these kinds of things. I am still convinced I was right though 😛

 

And so we will just stumble along in this parenting adventure, hoping for the best.

 

Toddling Toddler

About a week and a half ago, my baby took her first wobbly steps! Of course, I had to Instagram them:

 

She is growing up so very fast. She is doing well on the immunity booster the doctor prescribed. She has had a fever that has gone away on its own and gotten a cold that hasn’t turned into a full blown infection. I actually really think the immunity booster has helped, as sceptical as I was about it.

 

Her personality has really started to blossom and come to the fore. She is mischievous and naughty! Just this morning she found one of my eye shadows, figured out how to open it and dispensed it all over herself and the carpet. In her defense, I gave her my make up drawer to play with, assuming she wouldn’t know how to open anything. My bad. She doesn’t say much yet, besides ‘ta ta’, ‘da da’, ‘mama’ and ‘dere’ (there). She points at lot of things, but not always very accurately. She is already picking up on how to throw tantrums from her brother. The other day we took something away from her and she pulled her face and started to cry. It may as well have been Elijah’s face. I-DENTICAL! I actually got a fright. I think I realized in that instant exactly what we have let ourselves in for!

 

Other than that I am still really enjoying her. We are still breastfeeding and I don’t intend to stop anytime soon. I really can’t explain it to someone that didn’t manage to breastfeed, or breastfed and hated it. Everybody has their own story. To be honest I didn’t like it in the beginning. It was hard, it was a chore, it was all me, all the time. At this point Gabby no longer has a dependency on me to be around. So if I need to go out for a day without her, or go to work on a weekend I don’t have to worry about her needing to feed. Since I’ve stopped expressing I also don’t have to worry about lugging a breast pump around or finding a place to express, or sitting with engorged breasts. It has simply become a non issue, but remained an invaluable parenting tool. For comfort and sleep time there really is no comparison.

 

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Daddy’s Girl

 

Gabby and Elijah are still getting along very well. They can be too cute and can entertain each other for short periods which is awesome. They can be really cute together while they are sleeping too. Gabby likes to throw her leg over something/someone when she sleeps, it seems Elijah is also a pretty comfy leg rest:

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On the flipside, I get asked ‘Mommy, can I hold Gabby?’ And this happens:

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*heart melt*

 

I’m enjoying being a girl mommy more than I thought I would. I especially enjoy playing dress up and adorning her in pretty things:

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Every day I am grateful for my two wonderful blessings <3

3 going on 13

When I was a kid I remember my grandmother and mother telling me to ‘stop being cheeky’ after almost everything I said. I didn’t understand their disdain at my incredible wit. You know how your parents always threaten you with your own children while you are still a child? ‘Wait till it’s your turn’ they’d say. Or ‘I hope you have a child just like you’. I think my mother got her wish.

Babyice has been saying the most cheeky things of late. He really can back chat with the best of them and clearly likes to have the last word. I don’t think having much older children at the day mother is helping at all. A while ago he passed Rudi the TV remote. Rudi asked ‘What must I do with this?’ He replies ‘Put on a movie. Duh!’ Really? Duh?! He also frequently retorts ‘Whatever!’ while he is being scolded. If he isn’t saying ‘OK. I get it!’ in an exasperated tone.

I have started sending him to his room when his tongue gets out of hand and that generally seems to work…once I finally get him in here. I said an “ugly word” the other day and I was ordered to go to his room. Not my room, his! Sometimes he’ll randomly start saying “I don’t say stupid it’s an ugly word. I don’t say moron it’s an ugly word.” I get the feeling he is cheating and just wanting to say all the ugly words. He also often refers to things and puts a “bloody” in front of them. “I can’t open this bloody thing”. He has picked this up from Rudi’s father. He knows he shouldn’t say it.

More often than I’d like to admit he gets the opportunity to reprimand me for swearing. It’s like I can’t hear myself doing it. I might be frustrated and say something like “Pick up the fucking towel!” and he’ll look at me and say “Don’t say fucking towel. Just say towel.” I then have to eat humble pie, tell him he is right and apologize.
Obviously someone has taught him this and I have an inkling the day mother may have been reprimanding him for swearing the very same way. Oops.

It’s like I am already living with a teenager. 3 is proving to be a lot more challenging than the “terrible twos” were. They were a breeze in comparison so far!

Things My Kids Say

We were driving to the day mother to drop Babyice off for the day when he saw a truck on the road and he said ‘Mommy look! A BIG truck!’

 

As we’re teaching him colours I said ‘Yes! What colour is the truck?’ he responded with ‘Yellow!’ which was correct and he received the appropriate praise. Not a minute later he saw an African guy walking on the sidewalk and he said ‘Look mommy! Black people is brown!’

 

 

I have NO idea where he came up with this. He was, of course, 100% correct…but I don’t remember ever referring to an African person as ‘black’…and how would he know to do this if they are clearly brown? All I can conclude is that he must of picked this up at the day mother who has African neighbours.

 

 

Over the weekend Babyice was playing with our downstairs’ neighbour’s son. He comes around every second weekend to stay visit his dad. Yesterday on our way home he was saying he wants to play with Seth and I tried to explain to him that Seth has gone to stay by his mommy. The dynamic obviously didn’t make sense to him at all, because in his reality mommy and daddy live together. That is all he knows. So after the umpteenth time asking to play with Seth, I explained that Seth’s mommy and daddy do not live together. He looked at me and said ‘Is that because Seth is naughty?’ Again, I was floored. Where would he get such a notion? I carefully explained to him that it was definitely not because Seth was naughty (which he isn’t, by the way). I didn’t go into too much detail since Babyice is not even 3 yet and a more complicated explanation did not seem warranted. I just tried to make sure he understood that Seth was a good boy, even if his mommy and daddy don’t live together.

 

 

 

As much as we try to control what our children are exposed to, there is still so much that we cannot control at all, even before they get to school where they are surrounded by peers. I guess we just have to hope that we instill the right values and principles in them and that they trust us enough to speak to us about their perceptions and what they hear.

Things My Kids Say

While I was getting undressed to shower last night:

 

 

Babyice: ‘Mommy, I like your boobs. Come let me touch them.’

 

 

Again this morning after I was already dressed ‘Mom, I like your boobs.’

 

 

At least someone does 🙂

Butterfly World and Hair Hallelujah!

We decided to take Babyice to Butterfly World on Saturday. It really was a beautiful spring day. Their website advised to visit on a sunny day as the butterflies are more active then. We promised to take him before winter already and lately he has been mentioning it, so we decided it was a great idea to go.

 

 

I must say that I was disappointed by the butterflies. There were a lot of one sort of butterfly. Ones with transparent wings and I only spotted 3 other kinds. None of the butterflies were fluttering around. They were all just sitting around. Babyice didn’t seem interested in them at all and I think the lack of movement had something to do with that. He did enjoy pointing at the koi fish swimming in the pond though. Luckily Butterfly World has many attractions now so there were lots of other things to see. The highlights of the trip were probably the marmosets and the iguanas.  It was quite funny actually, we were at the iguana exhibit and neither Rudi nor I could locate one. We kept looking and suddenly Babyice said ‘Mommy look! A lizard!’ and these HUGE iguanas were right in front of our eyes the whole time. Very well camouflaged! One had also escaped the exhibit and was sitting on the pathway. Babyice was quite scared and so was I…it even moved as I walked past it and I squealed. The creepiest part was, of course, the insect section. Eek! On a side note, I don’t recommend the hamburgers at the restaurant. I only managed to force down half of mine before donating it to Rudi. Our photos from the day:

 

 

 

 

Then it was time for the dreaded haircut. I was more than nervous. His appointment was at 14:00, but we arrived at the salon at about 13:10. Before we left the morning we gave him the antihistamine recommended by the doctor. We went to the salon straight from Butterfly World as it is on our way home. I told Babyice that we were going to cut his hair and he still refused…’No. Not cut my hair.’ This didn’t help for *my* anxiety. I went in, asked if we could come in and sit there for a little while to help him feel more comfortable. The receptionist agreed. He didn’t want to go in at first. At some point I asked him to come and sit with me on a row of ottomans in the centre of the salon. He didn’t want to, but I picked him up (yes, picked up all 16 kg of him), took the 3 steps to the ottomans and sat down with him on my lap. He was nervous, but I spoke to him calmly, telling him nothing is happening and everything is okay. I then pointed out the ladies having their hair cut. He looked and said ‘Mommy, look! The aunty has papers in her hair!’ By papers he meant foils. So cute! The hairdresser allocated to do his hair came to say hi and asked if he would come sit by her. She got him a ‘big boy’ chair (a high chair). I put him down on the chair. He looked like he wanted to bolt, but she distracted him with a spray bottle with water. This was good. We hadn’t even gotten him into the chair at the last place. She showed him the kiddies cape and he let her put it on. The owner of the salon brought him some hair rollers to play with. He wasn’t much interested in them, but I offered him Angry Birds to distract him from the scissors and he was happy for it. He doesn’t seem to like the feel of the comb against his head and he gets especially nervous when the hair around his ears is cut. He dodged the hairdresser a few times around that area. There was no screaming, no kicking, no tantrum and no crying. I was so happy and relieved that I didn’t even mind being covered in hair. The owner of the salon said ‘I thought we had a performer here?!’ That is how well behaved he was. She said she used to have to sit on top of her son while someone cut his hair! Babyice looks SO much better now! I’m amped I managed to get his hair cut before the Huggies event this weekend. I am going to try and take him regularly to get him used to it. I’m not sure if I’m brave enough to try it without the antihistamine though.

 

 

Today, I spoilt myself. I have been in need of some new make up for a while and after buying a MAC concealer I’ve really been wanting to try their foundation and powder. I went to Edgars with a friend today and marched up to the MAC counter. I told the assistant there that I need a foundation/powder and eyeliner. She sat me down, took off my make up and proceeded to apply a primer. A primer?! I wasn’t even aware that you wear something UNDER foundation. I mean, really. What is my face? A wall?! Apparently the primer hides any pink/red pigmentation. She applied complete make up for me, save lipstick since I’m already wearing my Very Berry Revlon lipstick today. It’s the really dark one that draws so much attention. She also spritzed my face with some or other water that sets your make up, hydrates your skin and has a bit of a glimmer in it. Including that I have 4 layers of make up on my face! It does look nice though and a few hours later the foundation still looks good. Strangely enough I walked out of there with the 3 products I intended on buying when I walked in…it still set me back eight hundred rand O.O Yep. R800! I really want to get their mascara as well, but it is R200 and psychologically there is a huge difference between spending R800 and spending R1000. I also bought myself a pair of hoop earrings and a ring I liked (they were cheap):

 

 

 

MAC made my day 🙂

 

 

While my wallet is still crying…I’m smiling because I really do get excited by new make up! While I was paying one of the other MAC ladies complimented me on my lipstick. I can’t get over how many compliments I am getting about it. It just shows me that you really need to get out of your comfort zone sometimes. It pays off!

 

 

Family Matters

On Friday I was scheduled to go back to the dentist for further work on my root canal. Not 3 hours before I was due to go to him I was eating some popcorn and THIS happened:

 

 

Broken!

 

 

My bloody tooth broke! No, I wasn’t eating popcorn kernels…that’s just asking for trouble. I was very upset! Considering that Leebeesa had also had a root canal, the tooth broke, was patched up and broke again! She is now having her tooth pulled. I am not as fortunate though because my tooth can be seen when I smile, so I can’t simply pull it. I wasn’t smiling when I got to the dentist.

 

 

He had a look and then called me a fuss pot. He said it would be a problem to rebuild the tooth when he put in my permanent filling. He has a very reassuring way about him. I am still a bit worried though. Leebeesa’s was patched up and broke AGAIN. I can only hope mine won’t do the same. The dentist mentioned that I might need a crown, but that he would wait 6 months to make sure that the root canal was successful before putting a crown on. The root canal is going to set me back about R1400. A crown? Apparently R4000! For ONE TOOTH. That’s an insane amount of money to me. It is also half of my medical savings for the year, for my entire family. I have regular savings, which is for emergencies…but I really don’t want to spend my savings on something ‘cosmetic’. Although I don’t want to have a hole in my smile either. It never rains, it POURS. Just when there is a new baby on the way and you start counting your pennies, somebody wants a chunk of money.

 

 

 

My cousin is visiting from London at the moment. We popped around to see her and other family on Sunday. She bought such cute things for PrincessIce! She bought her polka dot socks that look like shoes, a full Winnie The Pooh set of clothes and the cutest little babygro for her first birthday. I will take pictures and post them. I didn’t want to parade everything around in front of Babyice since he is usually the one who gets all the presents. Since I am sending a lot of Babyice’s old clothes and shoes over for her friend who is a single mom there, her mother has promised to bring loads of goodies back for the kids when she returns in December. ‘The kids’. My goodness. My grandmother was upset that she brought me gifts, or rather, she was upset that I am the only one who ever seems to get gifts. She said my aunt takes offense that such a fuss is made over myself and my children, but nobody even speaks to her son.

 

 

Perhaps a little background on this: My aunt is mentally incapacitated. She doesn’t work. She had a job once with Telkom where she cleaned old telephones or something, but her entire department was retrenched. She has tried to work other jobs, but she doesn’t have proper social skills and couldn’t work on a cash register for example as she is considered ‘too slow’. She is married and had a son who is also also mentally impaired. He has been to a number of special schools and is currently in a high school for children with learning disabilities trying to find a suitable trade. He is 15 years old, but not mentally as mature as a 15 year old. He was once diagnosed with Aspergers, but I’m not sure that is the whole story. People find it difficult to relate to them. Even myself as a family member who grew up in the same house as my aunt sometimes struggle to. While my aunt can still have a conversation with you, it is not really possible to have a conversation with her son. If you do not talk about rugby (something which he is fanatical about) then there isn’t really anything to talk about. My grandmother has always pushed the family to interact more with my aunt’s family unit and is very protective of her. She is a mother, it is only natural that she would do so. Her sister is also a ‘funny’ person and can even be perceived as being nasty sometimes. She often says awfully insulting things to my grandmother. As an only child I do not know if this is considered normal sibling behaviour. At the end of the day they still love each other dearly. My grandmother doesn’t seem to understand that people struggle to relate to my aunt and will accuse people of ‘not liking her’. My aunt is good natured and a sweet person. She wouldn’t harm a fly. She can get a bit much though and is sometimes unreasonable in her requests. I suppose what I’m trying to say is that my grandmother wants her to feel included and loved and there is nothing wrong with that. She just fails to understand that it is difficult for others to do so. I also don’t think that she realizes that I am only getting so much attention now because there is a baby/small child involved and once their cuteness and novelty wear off they will also fall by the wayside in favour of other things. It’s just the way things are. She eventually gave her sister some money so that they could buy something for my aunt’s son overseas and bring him back a present too. My grandmother is such a kind soul. I have no idea what they could possibly buy for him though. I never have any idea what to buy him for his birthday. This year I ended up giving him some cash to do with whatever he wanted. It was easier that way.

 

 

 

Now to lighten the mood! I had gotten out of the shower the other night and was drying myself off in the bedroom. Babyice was on the bed and he ran over to me and said:

 

Babyice: “Mommy, I see your winky” (he was asking)

 

Me: “Mommy doesn’t have a winky”

 

Babyice: “Where you pee?”

 

 

I then had to try and explain to a two and a half year old that girls have fannies and boys have winkies and that girls can also pee even though they don’t have a winky. Surely it is too early for this conversation?! It was terribly cute though!

Things My Kids Say

Babyice is  at an age now where he is too cute for words. He is starting to say things now that I feel I *must* record. Even if just for my own reference. This will be a short entry, but I don’t want to forget.

 

 

We were in the car on the way home from the day mother. Babyice had been licking his lips excessively. So much so that above his top lip it was starting to get raw. I asked him if his mouth was sore. He put his little hand up and said, ‘Don’t worry mommy. It will be alright. Ok?’ I couldn’t help but smile and tell him that I would always worry about him.

 

 

 

Then last night we were all sitting on the couch watching Toy Story when suddenly my toothache attacked with a vengeance. I held my cheek and groaned. He looked at me and said ‘Mommy, what’s it?’ I said ‘My tooth is eina’ so he said ‘Oh, shame. Don’t worry mommy.’ He came to me and kissed me on the cheek and said ‘All better.’ I had to laugh as my heart melted and I wished a kiss really could take the pain away. I am sure that I will wish that many more times in the future as I try to take his pain away.