Right. So I’ve quit smoking. Again. For the gazillionth time. Try and try again, right? Pick yourself up! Try again!
Last year February I decided to do something about my weight. I joined the gym. With gusto. I am very proud to say, unlike any gym membership I have ever had, this one was USED. According to Foursquare I have checked in at gym 79 times. SEVENTY NINE! Over the last 11 months (since I have been going since February last year). That is an average of 7 times a month! It isn’t perfect, but it’s a hell of a lot more than I was doing before that. In fact, before that I was doing NOTHING. Every single time I went to gym, I exercised. I never went there to surf the Internet, eat at Kauai or do nothing. I went to exercise each time. Of course, towards the end of the year the enthusiasm petered out and we went less and less. We only went once in November and then 3 times in December. We’ve decided to step it up and go at least 3 times a week again.
I must admit having the personal trainer at the start really helped. He helped me up my fitness level and strength quickly, which made it easier to keep going. I wish I could afford a personal trainer all the time. When I was with him for the 12 sessions I saw major improvements and felt I made progress fast. Since I started going on my own I don’t feel like I’ve ‘improved’ much. Maybe I don’t push myself hard enough…or push in the right direction. For instance, when I started with him I started at level 5 on the elliptical. I’m only on level 7/8 now. Is that the aim? I know that I am fitter than I was a year ago. I can do things now that I couldn’t do before. I can walk further and recover much more quickly after getting out of breath. Also, exercise seems to be a science. I’ve hear that keeping your heart rate at a specific level helps burn fat faster and it doesn’t necessarily mean you are puffing and panting to get it there. I don’t know what level to keep it at, or even what type of exercise is best for what I am trying to do. At the moment I’m sticking to cardio and doing some sit ups with a heavy ball every time we go, but I’m sure it is supposed to be more varied.
I’m still fat though. Almost as fat as I was a year ago. I went from having lost 7.8 kg back to only having lost 4.2 kg (as of last night’s weigh in). It’s a still a loss and I am happy and grateful for that, but I have slid back down the slippery slope again. I must say, having worked my bum off (literally ;)) it seems to be a lot ‘harder’ to put the weight back on. It doesn’t come back as fast and bring friends like it used to. Look, I’m sure I could if I put my mind to it, but I won’t. I have constantly stepped on the scale, even when we weren’t going to gym to keep the number in sight. To ensure I don’t let it go completely. To make sure I don’t fall into the abyss of weight gain again.
Dust yourself off and try again!
One thing we haven’t done since starting our expedition, which is obviously a fatal mistake, is changed our eating habits. It is easier said than done. I lack a certain amount of control here since I don’t do the cooking in the house. I do make a select few meals, but Rudi doesn’t love my sugary, buttery cooking and opts to cook himself. Rudi gets frustrated having to think of meals to make. He lacks inspiration I guess. Last night he made us a chicken salad. He fried some chicken, onion and patty pans and put it together with some raw veggies (green beans, tomatoes and carrots). It was actually a really nice meal, but I felt like it didn’t satisfy me. I was hungry again soon after. We had some cream crackers with cream cheese a little later…and then we had chocolate. Epic fail. Perhaps we need to get rid of all the sweet treats and stuff in the house before we fully embark on the healthy eating thing. Although, right now any good meal we have is better than having a bad meal AND sweets. I’ve joined Pinterest yesterday and I think I will start searching for some easy, healthy recipes to help inspire us. I don’t intend counting calories. I don’t intend weighing any food. We may set out a meal plan for a week or two (which will probably only be for supper since it’s the only meal we eat together). Every time I have tried to suggest this to Rudi he has just started to criticize. He doesn’t even let me finish before he tells me why I will fail. It doesn’t help at all, but I don’t need him to validate me.
I *know* when I go on a diet I can be pretty good about it for a while, but then I falter. I cheat and I throw in the towel. After I cheat I berate myself to the point where I feel like I cannot do it. I get frustrated that things aren’t moving as fast as I’d like them to, I cheat and I throw in the towel. This is why I don’t want to go on a diet. I want to change my lifestyle. I want to take away bad things and add good things. I want to try new healthy recipes that taste good. I don’t want to live off crackers and mozzarella (yuck!) cheese or low fat two minute noodles. I need colour, flavour and texture. I need food that tastes and looks good. This is not impossible. I need to make the effort and experiment. Boring food is a big problem! Eating well at work is also going to be a problem. They don’t have a lot of healthy options and when they do it is usually overpriced for what you’re getting. Packing food? Mission and a half. I guess I’ll need to figure this out as we go along.
As you all know, I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. In fact, the gym was PACKED with New Year’s resolutions yesterday when we went. Apparently New Year’s resolutions smell like sweat. The people at gym didn’t look like people who had never seen a gym in their life. They looked like people who are probably pretty active, but it would seem that they may also have lost their ‘oomph’ and had decided that 2012 was the year to get it back. I predict the gym will be much quieter next month, like it was when I joined. I’m not even sure that I am good at setting goals and achieving them. I’ve set goals before, haven’t I? I’m not sure how I am going to wrap my head around this and how I am going to measure what I’m doing.
What would this blog post be without some photographic evidence?
Did it help? You decide.