Author Archives: Postmanpat

Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?

Whoever compiled this list of topics obviously doesn’t know what is polite to discuss and what is not 😛

I am proudly New Apostolic and really don’t care what anyone else has to say about that.

I am indifferent about politics. I voted for the first time in 2009, despite qualifying previously. I guess I was inspired by the people on Twitter. Sometimes I like to be part of something bigger. I’m irritated by all the negativity and idiotic people involved in the politics in our country and since I do not have much knowledge about how politics really works (or doesn’t work), I stay out of it and keep my mouth shut.

Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.

I really don’t understand what all the fuss is about. I have no problem with people that have a sexual orientation different to mine. It really is none of my business. As for them wanting to get married, why not? Just because they are attracted to the same gender doesn’t make them bad people or people who deserve to be treated any differently to anyone else.

I have gay friends that are contractually married. So what? They are going to do everything married people do anyway. They will live together, they will have sex, they will love each other, they’ll fight, they may even adopt children because their situation doesn’t necessarily allow for them to have their own. They are going to join the workforce, contribute to society, pay their taxes, give back to their communities…they are normal people!

So…I don’t care whether or not they get married. In fact, I condone it. I am a religious person and I know that most churches have a problem with gay marriage and won’t allow a couple to get married in church. The Bible is open to interpretation, no matter what people say. What it does state clearly though is that you should love your neighbour, it does not specify you should only love him/her if they are not gay. It also says that you shouldn’t judge. Isn’t that what they are doing? Judging and discriminating?

Just like everyone else, gay people are responsible for their own soul salvation and it is nobody’s place to interfere with that. If God doesn’t condone homosexuality, then he will say so on Judgement Day.

Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.

I don’t often read self-help books. I’ve tried reading self-help books and they bore me to DEATH, but recently an old aquaintance on Facebook probably got sick of my “I’m tiiiired” status updates and he mailed me the ‘Sleep Sense’ book.

It is a very short book and it changed my views on letting Babyice wake up and not letting him cry. Rudi doesn’t believe that he is old enough to manipulate us, but I do. Babyice does sleep through some nights, so it is evident that he doesn’t require a feed at night, so why then do we give him one? Because he demands it.

I want to sleep train him. We went to a Halloween party not so long ago and we had somehow forgotten his dummy at home. After about 30 minutes of hassle Rudi got him to sleep without it. We’re going to have to take his dummy away from him and it’s going to be hard, but I really want to do this, not only for ourselves, but for Babyice as well.

Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.

Not a tough one.

My boss and his negativity. I suppose he could be replaced by someone incompetent, but I doubt he could be replaced by someone who is worse than he is on his bad days. He does have his good days and when he isn’t being crapped on my his boss, then he can be a very pleasant and jovial guy. I could really do without reporting directly to him though. I wouldn’t mind working in the same environment as him, as long as he isn’t my boss.

Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.

This might sound weird, but carbohydrates.

I did The Atkins diet for about 4 months (and lost 8kg). While it’s lovely being able to eat as much fat and meat as you want…it gets old. The smell of toast, the thought of butter melting into that toast…the smell of popcorn…it drove me nuts. I cannot live without carbohydrates. With The Atkins Diet you can eat as much butter as you want…uh…on what? You can’t eat bread, you can’t eat popcorn, you can’t eat a baked potato. You can have as much mayonnaise as you want…again…on what?!

Right now I’m trying to eat as little carbs as possible, but I’m not COMPLETELY avoiding it because I know I cannot live without it. If I had to deprive myself completely I would give up and just go back to ‘not caring’ and doing nothing about my eating habits. I want this change to be a long term thing. A lifestyle change. Something that will make a difference in the long run and hopefully forever.

I fail on weekends and some evenings. If Rudi makes curry, for instance, I’ll eat the potatoes in the curry and not eat rice. That’s still a fail, but at least it’s less carbs than if I had the rice as well. On weekends I completely lose the plot. My weight goes up and down all the time, probably because of this.

Someone told me over the weekend that she had a rule not to eat any carbs after lunch time and that worked wonders for her. Perhaps if I had this kind of strategy it would work better? I must chat to her more about it.

Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)

Dear Oupa

I haven’t ever really given anyone “hero” status in my life. The closest thing I’ve had to a hero is you. With everything you’ve done for me and everything you’ve meant to me and so many other people, perhaps “hero” is a fitting term. You’ve been a hero to me and to others.

You let me down when you didn’t understand that I couldn’t have anything to do with My Evil Mother. I understand that it was against your “love and forgive everybody” beliefs, but at the same time I know that you struggle with forgiving her yourself. I thought you would understand that I had to do what was best for myself and for Babyice. It worked out in the end now, didn’t it?

You’ve disappointed me now…by dying on me. I know it’s not your fault and that you didn’t want this, but that doesn’t mean I’m not let down. I know you fought with all you could and I know sometimes you’ve wanted to give up. I know I pushed you, but only because I didn’t want to lose you. I know now that it is inevitable and I really wish things were different. You need to stop hanging on. It’s killing us to watch you suffer.

Love you muchly



Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter)

Dear Alanis,

Most of your fans left you after Jagged Little Pill and even though it was a pretty mainstream album something about your lyrics touched me. Listening to them made me feel like you understood things that were going on inside of me on a level other people don’t.

I was very excited about the release of Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie. After listening to that album, I knew that you knew. I understood that you are more than a performer, you are an artist. To this day…more than 10 years later your music always cheers me up, no matter how bad I’m feeling. Sometimes I shared your raw emotion and sometimes your songs made me cry. I remember writing a letter to a boy who had broken my heart and including lyrics from your songs because it is how I really felt. Some of those lyrics were from ‘Everything’. Poor guy doesn’t know what he threw away 😉

‘Thank you’ for being so brutally honest with yourself and sharing that honesty with us. You’ve made me realize that everyone really does go through hard times and gets hurt and that I am not alone. Having had a baby 9 months ago, I can’t wait to hear what you write after having yours (Congratulations!). Perhaps you’ll be able to express in words what I cannot.

Much love and admiration,



Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.

I could write a list of things here. I LIST. A long one, because there are many things I never get compliments on. I must say though, if there’s something I have never gotten a compliment on it must be my body.

Nobody has ever told me I have a nice body. Boyfriends may have told me that it’s not bad…or that there was “nothing wrong with it”, but I can’t remember ever being given a compliment on my body. I have been told that I’m “in proportion” and “doesn’t look like a pear”…but those aren’t exactly compliments, now are they?

Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.

People mostly tell me I have pretty eyes, nice hair or a pretty face. Out of those three, I mostly get complimented on my eyes.

More recently, however, I have gotten many compliments on what a beautiful baby Rudi and I made 🙂

A post about compliments was always going to be a short one for me…

Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.

At this very moment I don’t think there is anyone in my life that I don’t want there.

There was a point in my life, not very long ago (around the time Babyice was born) that I had to let my mother go. I had to deny her all access to my life and even had to ask the rest of the family not to speak to me about her. I had to cut her off completely. She was upsetting me (while pregnant) and making me very nervous about her making my life hell again. She even started saying things like that she was going to report me to the authorities if I try to keep her away from her grandchild. All this made me very anxious.

The rest of the family wasn’t very understanding as to why I needed to do this and it was always an uphill battle. She was still very much so being her old self at the time. She was being bitchy and nasty, lending money from my grandparents and not paying them back and lashing out at my aunt and uncle who had been nothing but good for her.

It was very tough, but I had to stick to my guns and tough it out. She kept her distance when I gave birth. The first time she saw Babyice was at his baptism. She is slowly starting to do better. During September when Babyice was in hospital she gave me R4 500. Just gave it to me. She owes me a lot more, but the fact that she gave me money was astounding. She also hasn’t thrown it in my face or demanded anything in return yet. The money was more than welcome at the time since we had lots of medicine and doctor’s bills to pay.

I still keep her very much at arm’s length and don’t trust her with money and wouldn’t leave her alone with Babyice. She is still married to Coke Head and I wouldn’t want him around Babyice unless I was present. I allow her to see him while I’m there and don’t always decline her invitations. She is showing signs of change and I am watching her like a hawk. One wrong step and she’s outta here!

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