June 13th, 2011 | Posted by acidicice

Today would have been my grandfather’s 71st birthday. I clearly remember his birthday last year. The cancer was starting to take him and we knew his prognosis. At that point he was not feeling well, but he was still mobile. We all went to church that morning and as is tradition they called him up onto the altar and let the congregation sing for him. ‘May the Lord bless you and keep you’…I stood right at the back of the church (where the mother’s room is) crying my eyes out. I knew it would be his last birthday with us. I knew he didn’t have another year left in him. He has been gone for almost 7 months now.

I really miss him. He was like a father to me. He was my go-to guy for just about everything. He always had a shoulder for me and advice when I needed it. He was loved and revered by the families he cared for as part of his ministry and those that weren’t in his section were always welcome too. He worked hard to take care of his family. He worked until the very last, until his body failed him and he could no longer. He was the most wonderful person I have ever known. A shining example in a world filled with disappointments.

I am sad today. Sad for my grandmother who is struggling to adjust. Being on her own after 47 years of marriage is proving very difficult for her. Sad for my son who will never get to know him and sad for myself because he has left a big hole in my heart.

A while before he passed away he could no longer wear his Livestrong bracelet that Leebeesa bought for him. He was irritated by things touching his skin (I think this was part of the side effects of the morphine). I took it from him and promised him I would wear it every day on his behalf. I’m still wearing it today. Cancer is a terrible thing. Watching him die was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I don’t wish that on anyone.

I’m spending the day with my grandmother today. I hope having me there will offer her some comfort and distraction. Perhaps I need the comfort and distraction myself.

Happy birthday Oupa, R.I.P xx