Mortality
I am sad today. In the past week two people in a department that works closely with ours have passed away suddenly. Very suddenly. The first came in the form of a car accident while he was driving home from work. He left work to go home and never made it there. The second came today with a woman falling out of her chair and never getting up again. They tried administering CPR for over 30 minutes and managed to get a pulse, but she was declared brain dead at the hospital and they say it is inevitable that the machines will be turned off. I didn’t know either of them very well, but I have had interactions with them both. Both of them had small children.
These two events in such quick succession have brought feelings of mortality very close to home. I have felt teary-eyed since I heard. I am quite a sensitive soul and I easily put myself in someone else’s shoes (as much as I am able to). After Rudi’s stunt last Wednesday thoughts of what would happen to us if he passed away have plagued me. It could just as easily be me, but I feel that I am not as much of a risk as he is. He is on the road all day for work and driving. Anything could happen. To either of us. Feck I could keel over from a heart attack or stroke RIGHT NOW. What about my son?
So I am sad and I am scared. I am not afraid to admit that I am afraid of death. My own death and of those I love. Just this morning my colleague asked me whether Ascension Day service would be held in the morning…I almost said ‘I’ll ask my Oupa’ and realized I couldn’t. I nearly cried (this was before anything happened at work today). My Oupa would have known and he was my go-to guy for such questions and now he isn’t around anymore. My Oupa didn’t pass away suddenly. We had time to say goodbye and to process the fact that he would no longer be with us for very long. These families did not have that opportunity.
Did you kiss your husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend/children goodbye this morning? Did you tell them you love them? Were you nice to everyone today? What if you never got home today?
I think that this feeling that you are having, is exactly why I talk to my hubby, at least once throughout the day where he is at work. I do also make sure that I tell my hubby and children, at least 3 times a week, how much I love them and we all, kiss each other goodbye in the mornings.
I so know how you feel, I think most people do. We all have insurance in place if one parent dies or both, but that is not what this is about. It’s about the fact that you can loose your beloved ones and never see them again – the emotional side to all of this. This is what it is all about.
Oh hunny! What an awful thing to go through and to be thinking about. I think the best you can do is to ensure that your legal docs are up to scratch with what happens if something happens to you or Rudi, and ensure your life insurance policies are paid up etc. Hope this feeling passes soon as you should be celebrating life and not concentrating on death… xoxo
It sounds like a rough day lady :-/ All you can do is tell those you love that you love them everyday, all the time.
The scary thing is that we can’t do anything about it – what’s that famous quote: the only two things in life that are certain are death and taxes? Anyway, I really believe that we will all meet up with our loved one’s in the life after this. Perhaps reading some literature by Elizabeth Kubler Ross will help as well. She was a pioneer in understanding death and explaining why it is a concept we should never be afraid of – for this life or the next. She really is very inspirational.
I’m sorry to read of your friends’ deaths. The difficult thing is having to die knowing you’re responsible for little ones who really depend on you, and I can see that is what’s brought this to the forefront of your mind. I have had months now to come to terms with death and am comforted by the fact that no-one is as dependent on me as your family is on you. (Hey, not that you’re going to die any time soon!)
Just yesterday a visiting friend said to me, ‘i just can’t believe that the time is so near when you won’t be around.’ Some might say that was a shocking thing to say, but Tracey and I knew her so well as to understand completely with how much love it was said, and it seemed very natural. We know that this timebomb in my brain could explode at any time, so waking up each day is a gift.
Just wake each day and think, ‘I am alive, and I have options.’ Live each day doing the things you want to do, with the best interests of your family at the forefront. Little else matters.
Pardon the homilies, but I’ve earned the right to pass them on over the last year or so!
I grew up with my mommy and daddy darling insisting on us saying hello and goodbye when we arrive and leave, and I taught the knucklehead to do the same. And I never let my men leave the house without saying goodbye and telling them I love them.
However remote the chances, I never want something to happen to them or me, and their not knowing I love them.