What’s been up
I know. I’m alive. Really.
The last three weeks have been difficult. Being a parent is…challenging to say the least, especially if you have no clue what you are doing. Thank goodness for friends like @cazpi who has been a lifesaver. She has been super supportive and helpful and has come out to take care of us at the drop of a hat. She has opened her home to us when we needed her. She has proven to be a great friend. Big love to you Caz!
When we took Babyice for his 2 week check up the clinic sister was dubious about his weight gain. She was unsure as she wasn’t the last sister to weigh him and didn’t know what he had been weighed in (we couldn’t remember if she had kept his nappy on or not, I think she did). She said he might not be latching on correctly and may only be getting foremilk from my breast, not the hindmilk like he should be getting. So his thirst is being quenched, but he might not be getting sustenance as such.
We went and bought ingredients for jungle juice and nipple shields to try and help. We also bought formula just in case. That night he wouldn’t stop screaming. He was crying the entire time. We decided to top him up with some formula as a once off to see if he ate enough. He gulped down the formula and went to sleep. From the next feed we were back on the breast and by the next day he started crying again. Eventually I was in tears and couldn’t stop crying myself. Caz rushed over and offered to take us in for a couple of nights to see if she could help. The next day she took me to her clinic sister. What a wonderful woman! She helped me latch properly and gave me some advice. She also gave me some free samples! Because of her free samples we figured out that Babyice prefers Avent to NUK. Perfect! We went and bought a breast pump as well, in case.
He did okay that night, after having some more formula. I pumped some breast milk so that my breasts would think he is feeding when we were giving him formula and we came home the next day. The weekend went okay feeding on the breast only, but by Sunday night he was screaming again. For one particular feed I was feeding him for two hours on the breast and he still wasn’t satisfied. I tried both and made sure we were latching correctly. I reverted to the bottle and BOOM. Hunger satisfied, sleeping baby.
It was then that I realized that I needed to make a decision. I was torturing myself and him with the breastfeeding and he clearly wasn’t getting enough food.
I was gutted. I had my heart set on breastfeeding my baby. It is what is best for them and I wanted to do it for at least six months, but it just wasn’t working for us. I beat myself up over it. Suffered with painful breasts while I tossed and turned over the decision…but I needed to make up my mind and I needed to decide what is best for our family and for our baby. I spoke to Rudi and we decided that we would switch him to formula.
He has been on formula since Monday and he is a completely different baby. He is much happier, sleeps better, his nappies are looking much better and we’re both much more relaxed. Now that I know he is well fed I’m not constantly worried about him being hungry. If he is crying I know it is because he has a wind/needs to be changed/needs a cuddle and isn’t screaming because he is not satisfied. We have another clinic visit today (they wanted to keep an eye on him) and I’m sure he would have done a lot better this week!
I know that a lot of women feel very strongly about this and will probably want to burn me at the stake, but I tried my best. I really did. After telling my grandmother this morning that we’d decided to change him to formula she said ‘Yes. Nobody in our family has ever been able to successfully breastfeed’. NOW she tells me. Although, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have been able to.
Now we’re settling in to our new pattern and things are going much better!
I'm a playboy! See my bunny ears?
Babyice had a newborn shoot the other day (above picture from the shoot as well). Wanna see? Check out some of the photos on @cazpi’s blog here.
As soon as I get my maternity shoot pictures from Johannesburg and gotten his newborn shoot pics I’ll upload albums to Facebook from Baby Shower to Newborn shoot for you all to see
I battled with breastfeeding for 5 months before i gave it up. I hated every second of it and it really affected me bonding with Shae. Don’t pay any attention to what other people say, every family is different and you have to do what’s best for you and your baby. xxx
I’m so sorry the BF didn’t work like you wanted it to, but I am glad you’re all happier!
LURV the pics!!
love that pic!
i would comment on the parenting/breastfeeding thing… but since i have never had a kid, what do i know… as long as everyone is happy i say!
hey there
dont be too hard on yourself about the bf thing i also tried (luckily my daughter was a content baby) my doctor had told me before she was born that my boobs are just for show (i think i was in the front of the q when they were handing those out) anyway on the bright side at least now you can monitor exactly how much he is drinking and im sure he is going to be a lot happier now. anyway good luck with the clinic visit later and let us know how it went! oh and lastly i luv the pics you are really blessed
yay – you have made peace with a very difficult decision. Like I have said, each woman has done what is best for her family. Until they have had EXACTLY the same experience and circumstances, they should NOT judge. They will though anyway, so to us c-section mommies, you have something to waggle under our noses and be higher and mightier about lol
You and #babyice and Rudi are doing so well. Can’t wait to hear the clinic results 
Give nunu a big squidge from Aunty Caz 
Fabulous photo’s he is gorgeous. I breast fed Joshua for 3 months and had milk fever twice, it was awful. With Abigail I lasted a whole two weeks. I was very determined with little Logan, I even arranged for a lactation specialist but after three weeks, I too gave up as it was very, very painful. I believe I have what they call Hypersensitive Nerve Endings “whatever”. I was advised to have a myprodol with every feed – yah right and both baby and I would be a permanent plonk!
There is nothing wrong with formula babies!!!!!
You made the right decision. And don’t let anybody tell you any different. My son has been a formula baby since 2 weeks old (had the same situation as you…. not enough milk …… projectile vomiting etc) and he has been a lot healthier then his friends that were breastfed. So it just shows you. Do what is right for your family. That is the important part.
the decision you made was the best one for you and your little one. You have to be sane, and if bottle feeding makes you sane, that’s the best method for you.
I did the same with Bradley, and didn’t even try with Connor – he went straight to bottle, I wasn’t prepared to go through that heartache again!
I also put myself and baby through that stress and never had enough milk, no matter how hard I tried. You made the right choice.
I totally understand your choice, and I respect you for making the choice before it got to a point of necessity. He is too much for words.
Hey hun,
Thats a heartbreaking decision to make but i have to agree with the rest of the moms… you have to do whats best for your family and your sanity. Your FB update the other day was spot on… happy mommy = happy baby!
Awww, hun! I so get how you feel…
I was determined to breastfeed – had consultations with a breastfeeding specialist, midwives, etc., used nipplecaps, breastpump, every thing I could think of and NOTHING worked. Everybody told me to keep trying, even though L was losing weight, was miserable and screaming all the time, had terrible colic and never slept due to constant hunger, even though she was feeding for 2 hours at a time.
And it hurt like HELL – to the point where I was bleeding. She was feeding for 2 hours out of every 4, with it taking on average an hour each time to get her winded and comfortable, what with the colic.
Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore and I just broke down. By that time, I had double mastitis and I had to go through breast physio (I didn’t even know there was such a thing!). Let me tell you, I would rather go through natural, drug-free birth again than go for breast physio again!!! I went to 3 different gynaes, all of whom said that I would have to go for surgery to unblock my milkducts, before I found one that was willing to try medication first. He put me on a double dose (by this time I was getting delirious from fever), which knocked me out for 4 days straight, but luckily cleared things up.
And the best part is – the moment I switched to the bottle, everything went like a dream…
Bottom line: Way to go for making the decision that works for you and your son!