23 weeks
23 weeks today. One more week and we’re at the 6 month mark! I can’t believe it! I’m feeling fine. Some ligament pain every now and then which is completely bearable, a little heartburn and some crying spells. I’ve also had some trouble getting sick when brushing my teeth in the mornings, but luckily that is usually on an empty stomach. Nothing I can’t handle.
Most of my pants don’t fit me anymore…I couldn’t be bothered to buy more RIGHT NOW. It’s alternatively still winter here…crappy weather every second day, the days in between being lovely and mild…so it can wait.
Rudi and I will be attending our first antenatal class tonight. I’m so glad I called yesterday. We’ve already missed a class and most of the people are not offering classes in December or January – and then it’s too late! The lady who will be facilitating our class is willing to recap the lesson we missed with us. It’s only R800.00 for 8 lessons of 2 hours each. I don’t think that’s a bad price at all. I’m an only child and Rudi is the youngest in his family, so neither of us have any real baby experience. I’d rather be a little prepared than completely overwhelmed.
Apparently we’re covering natural birth tonight. We’ll be watching videos of natural birth. Rudi might faint. Mwu wa ha ha ha ha. He’s always saying he is ‘squeamish’ and doesn’t know if he’ll be able to come into the delivery room with me…I guess now will be the best time to prepare him. He will be there. I insist.
My last birth experience was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot describe the pain in words at all. I can tell you that I screamed. So loudly that the other expecting mothers in the labour ward became fearful. I can tell you that I was begging for someone to help me. I can tell you I was praying for it to be over. It didn’t help that there was no pot of gold at the end of that rainbow. Based on this experience I am terrified of giving birth. I have no other frame of reference. I understand that it might and probably will be completely different the next time around…but right now I’m scared. My epidural didn’t work. What if it doesn’t work again? What if the pain is just as bad? What if they have to knock me out and I miss my baby’s first cry? What if…
Jamie’s birthday is coming up early next month. On 5 November it will be a year since she was born…and she died. This morning I tried to start compiling a letter to her in my head. I just sat there crying. It’s going to be really hard. I think I’ll do it when I’m alone at home. It will be better that way. Then I can just cry it out. My face was leaking quite a bit today.
Great news is…our Bishop said last night that he might come to our congregation to baptise our baby! That would be super awesome! I’m stoked. He asked me to send him an e-mail. I will!
Good luck with the classes tonight remember to tell Rudi that there is no turning back now, and he will have to sit through the birth videos. It’s very healthy to cry about Jaimie you loved her and you always will, you can keep crying until you’re 102 it’s natural. :O) Hugs
I wish I could say something to make the worry go away. But I know that nothing I SAY can make it better. Just know am thinking of you, and holding giant thumbs
All will be good. Ante-natal classes…..enjoy those, it´s the silly things you remember hehehe, nothing QUITE prepares you for baby. When baba comes – trust in yourself. You DO know the answers. Believe in yourself, you are amazing 
wow almost at the 6 month mark so amazing – its quiet normal to be nervous for the birth and stuff specially with what u have been through as well. i also thought that my partner would b squimish during the whole birth process he spoke about how cool it was for weeks afterwards (my gynae had said if he was going to be faint then he should either not come in or stay up by my face and not look cos they dont have at to worry about fainting men only the woman and child get seen to)
i never did the anti natal classes if figured ignorance is bliss-im a ninny and i dont think i could have sat through watching the videos of the births and for me everything went off fine (kindof cos i ended up having emergency c section after baby was getting stressed) but motherhood is cool and no 2 births are ever the same. hence the reason i only have 1 child (as much as i would love a second im scared to go through that whole process again and i also have a whole lot of “what if ” questions!
I never attended any classes..
Enjoy!
I’m not going for any classes…if you learn anything interesting please feel free to share?
Aw sweetie… I wish there was some way I could reassure you that it doesn’t have to be a traumatic disaster!
The antenatal classes do help even if you dont do all of the exercises, you usually remember something to help you in labour. I think I only went for my first.
Girl you can do it and this time I promise that if you pain killers don’t work the end result is worth it.
I never went to any classes. I can understand your fear though. You will all be fine, you will see.
Great news about the baptism. We are having Sarah-Kate baptised this weekend.
Lady, those drugs they give you to induce or augment labour are not funny and cause labour to be far, faaaar more painful than natural labour is! Having survived the ordeal you have been through on top of that makes you one of the strongest women on the planet and you will most certainly be quite capable of coping with a natural, healthy birth this time around.
Hope you enjoy your antenatal classes and every giggle you can get out of how squeamish the Dude is – lol!