acidicice

Fasting

As a lot of you may know, it is the month of Ramadaan. A holy month for Muslims all over the world where they fast for 30 days. I have a lot of Muslim colleagues and friends. I may have said this before, but I lived a very sheltered life growing up. I went to an Afrikaans primary school (I was in the one English class) and an Afrikaans high school (again in the only English class). The pupils were predominantly white, with a pop of colour coming and going every now and then. Somehow the students of colour never seemed to stay long. My mother and stepfather didn’t really have friends that were not white, so I grew up in a little bubble of the things I knew. When I started working after school it was incredible culture shock for me. I was quite suddenly exposed to a lot of different races, cultures, religions and sexual orientations. Fortunately I am quite liberal and have never really judged people based on any of these things. I can tell you in my denomination of Christianity we were taught to respect the religions of others. I did visit a few different churches with my friends in high school, to see what different churces were like, but they were all Christian. Most of them quite different from my own, but all Christian.

Since working at the company I have been with for the last 16 years, I’ve always been intrigued with the Muslim faith and have the utmost respect for those who fast for Ramadaan. I couldn’t imagine how difficult it must be. Considering my intense love for food, I could not wrap my head around it. This year I decided to try and fast too. I wanted to know what it is like and I wanted to see if I can. Don’t get me wrong, my intention was not to fast for the entire Ramadaan, but I thought I would start by trying for one day. Everyone else was already a week into Ramadaan and I finally said goodbye to my monthly visitor so I decided to dive in.

Preparing:

I woke up a few minutes earlier than normal so I could prepare myself something to eat before leaving for work. I thought it would be a good idea to have a bowl of oats since this should give me energy and keep me full for long. I haven’t been eating breakfast for a couple of months, so eating a bowl of oats at 5:30 in the morning was a bit of a struggle for me. I pushed through though, knowing I would not be able to eat for the rest of the day. I made myself coffee in a travel mug as I do every morning which I had on the way to work. I made an exception and had a smoke in my car as well since the cut off time to begin fasting was around 6:30 and I knew I wouldn’t get to work before then. I always thought that Muslims fast between sunrise and sunset, but that isn’t so. There is a calendar with specific times and the times change as the month progresses.

I start work at 7:00. At 7:53 I was already missing the second cup of coffee I would have had by that time. My mouth felt dry. The coffee trolley at work whisked by. Normally this would have provided me with my third cup of coffee for the day, but I asked our lovely tea lady in the morning not to make me any. She thought I’m nuts. She will make me coffee even if I am not at my desk. She knows how much I love my coffee. She was very surprised when I asked her to skip me for the day.

Around 15:00:

It was my full intention to make notes throughout the day, but it has turned out to be a relatively busy work day and I didn’t get around to it. I must say my ability to focus was compromised. I found it hard to start something and then finish it or focus on it. Hunger was fine actually and I was also totally okay not smoking during the day (no, this is not the part where you ask me why I don’t just quit). I was seriously thirsty all day though. Since early in the morning. Around 11:20 they started packing out the lunch to be served downstairs in our canteen and the food smelled amazing. When the coffee trolley made her last round after 13:00 I needed to distract myself from the sound because it would normally mean I was getting coffee delivered to my desk and I really do look forward to that.

I had about another 3 hours to go before I could break fast. I didn’t really think it would be a problem. I was stiff from sitting down in my chair all day instead of getting up for loo breaks and smoke breaks. I had to make a point of getting up to stretch my legs, but I was also trying to conserve energy so that I could make it through the day. I felt quite tired and had a hint of a headache, but it would be a fleeting pain and then it would immediately go away.

About the night:

When I got home it was freezing and Rudi was sleeping after an overnight shift. I whipped off my jacket and shoes and crawled into bed with him immediately. By home time I was already really tired and to be honest I just wanted to lay and do nothing. I can understand now why my Muslim colleagues like to leave work an hour earlier, I would have been very happy to. I really didn’t want to cook and after much back and forth about who was going to go out in the blustering, windy, rainy weather to go and get pizza Rudi finally relented and agreed to go. He left 6 minutes before I was allowed to break fast…so I ended up breaking fast with a cup of coffee and a smoke. That warm cup of coffee was heavenly. I still wasn’t actually hungry by the time the pizza arrived, but I ate too much of it anyway. I drank another 3 cups of coffee before bed.

Since I made it through the first day relatively unscathed, I decided to fast for another day to see what it was like.

Next day:

So I wanted to know what two consecutive days would feel like and I wanted to see if adjusting what I did in the morning would impact how my day went. So I had a bowl of oats in the morning again, but this time I also had two glasses of water. This is UNHEARD of for me. I don’t like drinking water, but I realized I had to hydrate myself to face the day. I also stayed thirsty and woke up thirsty from the previous night, so knew that water was the answer. I had my regular cup of coffee on my way to work over and above breakfast.

This time I only got thirsty much later in the day, but I did still get thirsty. Maybe I didn’t drink enough water in the morning. I also got hungry at around 11:30 and again around 14:30, but it was manageable. I was a lot quieter than normal. I can be loud I guess. One reason for this was because my mouth is dry and my throat a bit sore from the drought therein. The other reason is to conserve energy and because I was tired and lethargic. The second day had it’s own set of challenges and was harder than the first day, but it was still doable.

I was very hungry by the time I was able to break fast. I was literally watching the clock waiting for the last minute to tick by. My neighbour was too sweet and sent me some dates (the traditional way to break fast) and savouries. While I was waiting for the time to pass Gabby decided to go to the loo and just as I was allowed to, she called me to help her. I was frustrated since I had waited the whole day to finally eat or drink something, but went to help her quickly. The kids raided my plate of savouries and I only managed to have a springroll and the dates. We had some soup for dinner, which is perfect for this cold weather.

Since the next day was a public holiday I put the fasting on hold. I would like to try for a full week as I’ve heard that day 3/4 can be pretty hectic.

I certainly have new insight into what it feels like to be fasting. While it may be considered “easier” to fast in the winter because the days are shorter and one doesn’t need to wake up after 3 in the morning to eat before starting to fast, fasting in winter is difficult too. I found that I got extremely cold while fasting. I guess your body is so busy trying to just run it’s normal processes like breathing, keeping your heart beating, etc that warming your body is lower on the priority list.

While I certainly don’t *have* to fast, I would like to try and fast for a full week next week. There are some health benefits to fasting as well and who doesn’t want to be more healthy? I have my own reasons for deciding to try fasting. My reasons are not religious, but I did want to see if I had the willpower to do it even if I didn’t have to. I did want to know how it would affect my body, but I was also keenly interested to see how it would affect my mind. I very seldom introspect and being still and quiet prevents me from distracting myself with all the outward things and being boisterous.

Heaven knows I could do with some introspection right now.

I would love to hear what your views are on fasting and whether you’ve ever done so for any reason. Thanks for reading!

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Breastfeeding at 3.5 Years

Some moments when I’m nursing my child I take pause and realize what an absolutely amazing journey this is. Perhaps the most special journey along with pregnancy I have ever experienced. I cannot describe the bond it has created between us. The closeness that we have because of it. Touch is my most prominent love language and I can not only speak this language to her, but she speaks it back to me at the same time. The other day I was nursing her for her nap, we lay there in silence, tummy to tummy. She wasn’t wearing a shirt so our skin was touching. I exhaled as she inhaled and I inhaled as she exhaled. She gently drifted to sleep and not long after that, so did I…but not before I was able to treasure that moment.

I felt compelled to write about this. I don’t want to forget how special this time together in our lives is. I don’t want to forget the little moments.

Nursing 3.5 years old

Over the weekend this post popped up in my Facebook memories. Three years ago I was so anxious that introducing mixed feeding into our routine would cause a sudden and abrupt ending to our breastfeeding journey. I never imagined that I would find myself nursing my 3 and a half year old toddler all this time later.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I never expected to successfully nurse past six months…or to a year, never mind 3.5! Gabby still loves to nurse and I still enjoy nursing her…most of the time. It can be very frustrating at times. On Sunday she was particularly needy and she was at the breast almost all day. I have felt irritated by this in the past, only to realize later that she was getting sick or needed to nurse for another reason. I try to be patient, but when you have a lot to do it can drive you insane. On the other hand when we you feel like you need some downtime, it can be a wonderful escape into doing nothing but being close to your nursling.

Nursing 3.5 years old

I do think about weaning. Whenever Gabby has engaged a poor latch and hurt me, I think “This is it. I can’t take this anymore!”, until I am no longer in pain and thoughts of weaning are forgotten again. We have clear boundaries that she undertands. We were out with my bestie and her baby at the mall and we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. Gabby looked at me and said “Mommy, no boobies here?”. I replied, “No, no boobies here”. “Mommy, boobies only by home?”, “Yes, Gabby, boobies only by home” and she ran off to play. She demands to nurse when we are at a neighbours house, but it is a venue I have conceded at before. Sometimes we will visit there and stay quite late, so I have tried to nurse her to sleep, but mostly she doesn’t fall asleep and is content with a nursing session. Our neighbours don’t mind, so if we are there and she needs to nurse I excuse myself for a while and return once Gabby’s needs have been met.

In the past week or so she has started doing something that she has never done before, where she nurses for a short while and stops to declare “Me done!”. I am usually the one to decide when we are done. It leads me to wonder if she is on the road to self weaning, or it might just be a new game for her to play. I really think she will be a long term nurser. I have, at times, thought that I might nurse her till 4…but that milestone is rapidly approaching and I don’t know if I will have the heart to wean her if she has not self weaned at the time. Perhaps I’ll have one of my “I’m DONE!” periods after she is 4 and actually start weaning her, but I cannot commit to that.

I have started employing some weaning tactics, without the intention to wean. If she asks to nurse and I am busy with something or not in the position to nurse her for an extended period of time, I’ll tell her “Two minute boobie” or “Count to 20 boobie” and most times she will just take what she can get and agree. It works quite well and she will end her nursing session when I say two minutes is up (it isn’t always) or once I count to 20. Sometimes her brother will count for us. Sometimes she will resist unlatching, but I reinforce that it was the agreement when we started and she relents.

There are things I mean to do before our nursing journey ends. I want to have a nursing photoshoot with her and I want to have a momento in the form of a breastmilk pendant or something before she weans, but I haven’t really had the funds to do either yet. I fear time will run out before I manage to get around to it, but at least we’ll always have the memories.

Nursing 3.5 years old

Neon Gradient – Holo Stamping

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Hi everyone! I told you I would be playing with neons and holos again…so not to disappoint you, I did 🙂 I love the combination of neons and holos…neons and nudes…holos and anything really. Every nail polish addict has their preferences. I’m a holosexual first and foremost and then I would probably put neons a close second.Neon gradient with holo stampingNeon gradient with holo stampingNeon gradient with holo stampingNeon gradient with holo stamping

I started off with a base coat to protect my nails. I started off with a coat of essence wild white ways as a base. I used a make up sponge and China Glaze Highlight of my Summer (green), You Drive Me Coconuts (pink) and Flip Flop Fantasy (orange) to create a gradient on all of my nails. Once that was dry I used Color Club Beyond and MoYou Illusion 05 (press sample) stamping plate to stamp the swirls onto my nails. I sealed everything in with a coat of Seche Vite.

I have so many nail photos laying uploaded in my media folder that I am yet to create posts for, I kind of feel overwhelmed. My blog has been very quiet of late and it has been unavoidable. With some of them I cannot even remember what polishes I used, it’s been that long since I’ve actually done the mani! I’m going to try and do some catching up and write posts for all of the photos. Then I’ll be able to get some content out for you guys.

Thanks for reading!

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Holo Animal Print

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Hi! I really love animal print nail art and every now and then I get the urge to do a leopard print mani. I received a really awesome nail art brush from bornprettystore to review and wanted to try doing some zebra stripes as well. My previous attempt at zebra stripes wasn’t too bad, but I thought my lines could have been thinner and after first using this brush I knew I could get nice fine lines. Let me show you what I came up with.

Color Club Eternal Beauty Animal Print Nail Art

Color Club Eternal Beauty Animal Print Nail Art

Color Club Eternal Beauty Animal Print Nail Art

Color Club Eternal Beauty Animal Print Nail Art

Oooooh yeah. You just know I had to get a sun shot of that holo! I started off with a base coat to protect my nails. I painted 2 coats of Color Club Eternal Beauty on all of my nails. I used Sinful Colors Amethyst to dot random and imperfect dots onto my index and ring nails. I hauled out some black acrylic paint to create the animal print effects. It was fairly easy for me to paint the zebra stripes, but I struggled with the brush and the leopard print. I ended up reverting to a dotting tool to complete the leopard print. You can see a bit of unevenness on my index nail where I used the acrylic paint. Somehow my black acrylic paint has become thick and gloopy. I tried thinning it down with some water, but didn’t do a very good job of it I think. All my other colours work beautifully. I think I might just replace the black since it is a colour that I will often use to paint freehand. LOL. Did you read that? Cos I paint freehand SO often. I sealed everything in with a coat of Seche Vite.

While we are on the topic of animal print. It is probably something stupid to be annoyed about, but I’ve noticed a lot of international bloggers refer to leopard print as “cheetah print”. No. Just no. Perhaps it is the African in me that finds it annoying, but cheetahs do not have spots like this on their fur. Don’t even attempt to google “cheetah print”. It will bring up images of leopard print…people have been getting it wrong for so long even Google believes them. Here you can see the difference:

cheetah vs. leopard

*Image courtesy of www.ericabunker.com

Now that I finally have that off my chest, I’d love to hear your thoughts on this mani in the comments below.

Thanks for reading!

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When You Just Can’t

I have blogged through some of the worst times in my life in the last 10 years. Through my grandfather’s illness and subsequent death. Through the loss of our first child. Through the drama and trauma with my mother. All of these personal things I laid bare on this blog. I found support online, I found people that could relate, people that cared. For that I am grateful. There has been something that I have always avoided blogging about. It felt too personal and I guess shameful, so I’ve kept that part of myself hidden and out of the public eye. Here at least. There are people that know and I’m ok with that, but I’ve never felt ready to put it in black and white on the internet. I did write a post about it once…in 2010 which is still lying in my drafts. I don’t know if I will ever publish it, but at the time it felt cathartic to write about.

At this time in my life I am faced with things I again feel are too private to write about and publish. I’m really struggling and have been for months. At times I have thought perhaps I should just write it out and leave it in my drafts as I did with the other post, but I have not. Because I am still in the thick of everything going on, I just can’t. I have no idea where this road will lead, all I know is that I’m standing at a fork and either way is utterly shit. I have been standing here for what feels like forever and I just do not have the balls to choose a path. I am frozen with terror, knowing both ways will hurt like hell. I’m procrastinating, delaying what seems inevitable, hoping that somehow another road that isn’t as difficult will appear. My head says one thing, my heart another. I know which one of those two is stupid, yet I’m still just standing there.

I suppose some of this discontent has leaked out onto my Facebook timeline. Apparently the things I have been sharing there of late have caused concern to my friends and followers. Some have reached out and offered support. Thank you for that. It truly does mean a lot to me that people care. Despite growing concern that I might be suicidal, I’m ok. If I don’t have the guts to choose a path, I certainly do not have the guts to completely remove myself from the journey.

I do think I’ll be able to blog about it once I have chosen a path and that will likely lead to a lot of “MY LIFE FUCKING SUCKS RIGHT NOW” posts. I apologize in advance. To be honest, my life fucking sucks right now anyway, I just don’t want to tell you why. So…I thought I would put up a post, trying to explain why I’ve been disconnected and distant. I know it doesn’t help much and might just breed curiosity, but that is not my intention. I just wanted you to know that I’m alive and I’m coping.

Thank you again to everyone that has reached out to me. I really appreciate it. One day I will tell you all the things.

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Delush Polish A Peony For Your Thoughts Swatch

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Hi everyone! Today I have a swatch of an indie polish that I have used in a mani before (this post is picture heavy). I was feeling too lazy to do any nail art and decided to wear an interesting polish on it’s own. This is what I love about crellies, even though there is basically no effort involved, the polish still looks amazing and interesting as if you’ve done something special 🙂 Let me show you my swatch of Delush Polish A Peony For Your Thoughts.Delush Polish A Peony For Your Thoughts SwatchDelush Polish A Peony For Your Thoughts SwatchDelush Polish A Peony For Your Thoughts Swatch

I started off with a base coat to protect my nails. I painted 3 thin coats of A Peony For Your Thoughts on all of my nails. If you read my previous post you will know I struggled a bit to get the circle glitter out of the bottle, but this was because I was in such a rush to use it after receiving it from my friend Pish that I didn’t have the patience to work with it as required. It is common for larger, heavier glitter to settle at the bottom of the bottle. To prevent this and suspend the glitter, the base polish would have to be way too thick to work with so you need to use a few tricks in order to get the glitter out easily. I left the bottle upside down for about 30 minutes before using the polish. On the first 2 coats I didn’t really stress about getting any circle glitters out since subsequent coats would just cover them up anyway, but when I went in for my last coat I really focused on getting them out. In between each nail I closed the bottle and rolled it between my hands upside down. The circle glitters came out in abundance when I did this 🙂 I sealed everything in with a coat of Seche Vite.

Do you like crelly polishes? I have a weakness for white crellies myself. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below 🙂

Thanks for reading!

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Neon French Nails

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Hi everyone. The mani I have to show you today was actually requested by my husband. He is a huge fan of french manicures and has always wanted me to do one. In all my time doing nails I’ve only done one french mani, so I decided to indulge him. I tried to discuss details with him, but being a dude, it was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Eventually I asked him if he wanted a traditional french or something funky and he said funky. Let me show you what I came up with.Neon French NailsNeon French NailsNeon French NailsNeon French Nails

I started off with a base coat to protect my nails. I painted 2 coats of Revlon Sure Thing (gift) on my index, middle and pinkie nails. I really love this white. I actually think it’s my favourite white in my collection. It self levels really well and is very opaque. The formula is easy to work with and dry time is pretty standard. On my ring nail I painted 3 coats of China Glaze Neon & On & On. Oooooh I love me a good neon. The formula on this neon is tricky and not so easy to work with. The polish dries very fast, so it’s easy to drag if you go over the same spot more than once. It sure is beautiful though, right? Once my polish was dry I used french nail guides I purchased from bornprettystore to tape off the tips of my nails. I was actually shaking the entire time I was doing this. I’m not sure if it was because I was hungry or nervous that I was going to mess it up. I alternated the colours on my tips, painting over the guides and immediately removing them when I was done painting, one nail at a time. It still felt like it was missing something, so I added the heart rhinestone to my accent nail. I sealed everything in with a coat of Seche Vite.

Although french manis aren’t really my vibe, I really loved how this turned out. Perhaps because, NEON 😀 So I showed them to my husband and he just sort of grunted his “approval” and then went into how we had discussed other options for the french and that he wasn’t sure why I went ahead and did my own thing. I think I may have done so because at some point he had said “Just do whatever you want” when he was tired of discussing nails with me LOL. As you can see above, once again in my lightbox the camera was completely freaked out by the neon, the shot in the sun is colour accurate. I am also not sure why my skin looks so dark in the lightbox pictures. You win some, you lose some. I was totally going to post this as a Valentine’s mani, but life got away from me.

Do you like french manicures? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this mani in the comments below.

Thanks for reading!

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I Won an Award O.o

Out of the blue I received a call from a colleague in another department. She wanted to know if I had agreed to attend the event in Johannesburg.  I had absolutely no clue what she was talking about. She was a bit surprised that I was completely unaware that I was invited to go. Flights were to depart 2 days later and she was actually calling to confirm my ID number so that she could book my ticket. I made a few calls to see if I could arrange for someone to look after my children and called her back to confirm my attendance. I asked if anyone else in my department would be there and one other person was attending as well as another from a different portfolio. She briefly explained that we had been chosen as part of a group of the top 25 agents in customer care and would be attending an award ceremony and a workshop the next day. The other agents were all from our outsourced business partners.

I wasn’t exactly sure how this had happened, so I went to my manager to ask her. She apparently had not realized she was supposed to tell me about it and had only been asked a few days prior to nominate the people she felt deserved to go. She explained that she looked at our departmental stats and had considered our work ethic and attitude before putting forward the two names she had chosen. She told me one of the things that stood out to her was when I left a meeting exclaiming that I had work to do. I had to laugh. I was just being honest! At the time I felt that my time was being wasted and could be better utilised, so I left. Ultimately it was a bit self serving as our remuneration is based on the time we take to get to our assigned work and I felt that I could do better if I put a bit more pressure on myself.

Hurriedly arrangements were made for us to depart to Johannesburg. Everything was arranged on very short notice and we were only informed after 17:00 what time our flights the next day were scheduled for. Luckily with the shift Rudi was working it was possible for him to take me to the airport on the Thursday, as well as to collect me on the Friday. We had breakfast together before I boarded and off to Johannesburg I went. We arrived at our hotel too early to check in, so we had lunch while we waited for them to get our rooms ready. Having had a long and busy day already and not having any commitments prior to the evening event my colleagues and I desperately wanted to take a nap. Finally when our rooms were cleaned we went our separate ways to relax before getting dressed for the black tie do later. I was really looking forward to a nap, but only managed about 40 minutes before waking up for no reason. Ugh. I watched a bit of TV, had a shower and got dressed as the shuttle was going to collect us for the event.

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We arrived at our head office to a man armed with a camera and were lead into our building to the conference center where a red carpet was laid out. We were served cocktails and canapés while waiting for everyone to arrive. We entered a beautifully decorated room. The table settings were all white and gold. There were floating candles in long vases, flower arrangements,  huge feathers and gold chairs at the tables. Everything was stunning.

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Our resident in house MC who is really amazing and hilarious welcomed us and kicked off the speeches where the top brass from our quality division who initiated this recognition programme spent some time explaining to us what an achievement it was to be there. Being as self deprecating as I am I still have trouble believing that I have won this award. They really did make a huge deal out of it and showered us with praise, motivation to continue what we were doing and a request to spread our passion for what we do among our colleagues that we work with every day. We were all called up onto the stage one by one to take pictures with the executives and handed a certificate for “Excellence in Customer Service” as well as a gift.

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The food was really amazing and I regretted having a big lunch. There was also an open bar which is something that I haven’t seen at a company event in years. Once all the formalities were out of the way the DJ played while we danced until it was almost midnight before being collected by the shuttle to return to the hotel. I honestly cannot remember the last time I danced so much. I had such a good time. Before the event I wasn’t happy about the late hour that we would be getting back the hotel. It is WAY past my bedtime and I am a woman who often chooses sleep above staying awake to watch a movie or read, but I found myself feeling disappointed when the evening was drawing to a close.

picsart_04-11-01.55.36.jpgPerhaps it was for the best as Friday morning was an early start to catch breakfast at the hotel and head off to our head office for a workshop. I have been working for my company for 16 years and had never been to our head office. I was excited by the prospect of finally getting to see it. I wasn’t disappointed. The campus is huge and consists of many buildings. I managed to pinch off a little time to meet some of the people I work with daily which was really awesome and at the same time I got to see a little more than just the building we visited. I also received some baked goods from said people to butter me up for future business 😉

Before we knew it the day was gone and we had to rush back to the airport. We could have taken our time though since our flight was delayed twice and we ended up leaving more than 2 hours later than scheduled. That aside I had such an amazing time. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire experience from start to finish.

The delayed flight was frustrating, but arriving at the airport to two little voices screaming “Mommeeeeeeeeeeeeeee” excitedly was the best feeling! It was so awesome that they were so excited to see me. Although the hotel had amazing pillows, no bed sleeps like your own bed 🙂

It was really nice to be recognized at work. Sometimes you don’t realize that what you do daily is appreciated.

 

Orange Neon Holo Nail Art

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Hi there! Today I have a look for you that I created with some neon and holographic polishes. Summer is definitely the season for some neons and holo! Let me show you what I came up with.Neon Holo Nail ArtNeon Holo Nail ArtNeon Holo Nail ArtNeon Holo Nail ArtI started off with a base coat to protect my nails. On my pinkie, middle and ring nails I painted 3 coats of China Glaze Flip Flop Fantasy. FFF is my absolute favourite orange and one of my favourite neons of all time, bearing in mind I don’t have access to all the amazing indies that are out there. On my index nail I painted 2 coats of Color Club Cosmic Fate. Once my nails were completely dry I used nail vinyls that I received as a press sample from We Heart Nail Art on my index and ring nails and painted Cosmic Fate over the vinyls, removing them immediately after painting over them. I sealed everything in with a coat of Seche Vite.

As you can see above, my camera is completely freaked out by the neon of Flip Flop Fantasy, but the photo in the sun is a fairly colour accurate shot. How about that sun shot though?! AMAZEBALLS! Yet another mani that I absolutely loved. Just so you know, lately only the manis that I really like are making it to the blog. Before I used to post every single mani I did, even if I wasn’t crazy about it, but now I save the best for you 🙂 The sharp lines and pattern in the vinyls reminded me of Aztec patterns, although it clearly isn’t. I really loved the holo and neon combination and will certainly be doing something like this in the future again, hopefully before summer is over and we switch into the darker, warmer shades of winter.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this mani in the comments below. Thanks for reading!

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Broken Bone

Where does one begin to write a post about your child seriously injuring themselves? Right here I guess. My 3 year old daughter broke her collarbone. Proper broke it. She also broke my heart while she was at it.

I was booked off work on Thursday and Friday with bronchitis and feeling rather shitty. This bout had a quick onset and left me completely drained. On Saturday morning at 2 AM Rudi left for work and didn’t return again till late Sunday night. I had managed to get through most of the weekend unscathed and the children were dressed, entertained and fed.

We live in a gated community. The children run around freely and play with each other almost every day, depending on the weather and if they had escaped being grounded for whatever reason. This day was no different. There is a park right across the road from our place. The road is fairly quiet and the children know to look for cars. The park has a swing set and a basic jungle gym with a slide, some monkey bars and a tyre swing. One of the monkey bars has been missing for a while, but the distance between the platform and the other side is fairly short, so the gap doesn’t render them useless. The kids were playing in the park and I was sitting on my balcony keeping an eye on them. I went inside to go to the loo and when I returned Gabby was crying and walking back home complaining about her arm. Elijah said she had been swinging on the monkey bars and he had been holding her legs (as we often do when we are near). She then slipped or let go and he didn’t have a good grip on her and she fell to the ground, landing on her shoulder. Not too long ago she had also fallen in the park and refused to use her wrist while crying bitterly. I went into a panic and we rushed to the emergency room after giving her pain meds. While waiting to see a doctor the meds kicked in and the wrist was completely forgotten. For good. Fool me once, they say. I had struggled to get Gabby to sleep the previous night so I let her skip her nap. She cried for a long time and I nursed her to comfort her (yay boobs!). She kept almost falling asleep, so I talked her into bathing so she could go to bed. She had trouble lifting her arm, but I managed to get her bathed and dressed. I had given her something for pain and she seemed better.

The next morning she still refused to use her arm and I noticed her shoulder seemed swollen. I had already been off work due to my illness and Rudi was working a later shift, so I asked him to drop me at work and take her to the doctor to make sure everything was OK. I managed to get her an early appointment and she was sent for x-rays. My worst fear was realized. She had broken a bone. Rudi muttered something about possible surgery and I got my bestie to take me to the hospital. I was met with a very brave little girl who told me “Mommy, doctor fix mine arm” with a cute sling.

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Thankfully they didn’t operate because she is still so young. I was horrified when I saw the x-rays. When you can’t actually *see* the break it’s easy to minimize the severity of it in your head, until you *have* seen it and it is all you see when you look at your baby girl in her sling, almost as if you now possess x-ray vision yourself.

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As if it wasn’t bad enough that my heart was broken because my baby was in so much pain, Rudi blamed me for the accident. I know it wasn’t my fault and even if I had been right there I might not have been able to prevent it, because shit happens. It just does. It really got my back up though and I was furious with him for not being supportive, also considering that I was ill and had been tending to the house, children and myself all weekend with no help. When she went back to the day mother I got repeated scoldings from her as well about what an irresponsible parent I am. When I told Rudi about her judgement he was more forgiving towards me than he had been the previous day. Perhaps he had sufficient time to get over the shock himself, but the words hurt and fueled my mommy guilt even further.

I have been so very impressed with how Gabby has been handling this. She doesn’t complain and insists on doing things for herself, even when we offer help. She only has use of her non dominant arm, but climbs into the car and back out by herself. She barely requests help and has even adjusted by colouring in with her left hand. The first couple of nights she woke up around the time her last administered pain meds would wear off and requested more. By the third night she slept through and was sleeping on her side, back and stomach again.

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Whenever you ask her if she is okay or if she is in pain she smiles and says “Me fine!”. The orthopedic surgeon did not tell us to come back for a check up or another x-ray, only that she would need to wear the sling for 10 days. By the looks of things she is healing quite rapidly. I was surprised they didn’t try to line the bone up, apparently this happens on its own. They did mention she might have a lump there for 6 months to a year and that it is normal.

I’m so grateful that she is doing well and seems to be better every day. It could have been worse, but I sincerely hope this is the last time we need x-rays to see if everyone’s bones are intact!

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